Can I ask a guy if he's still interested in me even though we kinda stopped dating?

[Anonymous]

I just wanna know, I'm so into this guy but everything seems to go wrong or come out wrong...I just can't really open up and he did a little (also asked me out, but the dates went not well, I behaved just weirdly because I was so nervous) but then stopped (maybe because I didn't respond well, maybe he lost interest...I just dunno).

He almost never calls me, when we talk though he listens and offers advice like a really good friend. Still I want us to be more than just friends...can I just talk to him about that? I just want to know.

I mean we stopped dating obviously, but like I said the dates (two) didn't go well...I somehow want a second-chance but only if I have a chance with him at all...kinda like asking if we're still dating.

Is asking a naive way to go about this?

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+1 y

Nnok, I didn't make my point today but at least I could show a little more emotion...small step for anymore, big step for me (^^;) He was kinda confused at first but took it overall quite well I guess as he also opened up a little bit.

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+1 y

But I'm still don't know if he is still interested or not - time will tell, but I'm happy that I managed to "vent" a little (in a positive way ;)

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+1 y

Until now he hasn't called or texted me yet...I have not called him yet again because he's busy but also because I want to know if he'll call me within a week...I have the feeling that it will take him at least a week...we'll see.

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+1 y

It's been a week now...he hasn't called. =P This sucks.

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+1 y

Took him, what, 10 days or more to call me...now what does that mean? Nothing too good I guess.

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+1 y

I missed his call two times, so I called him back and he told me that he wanted to meet me again and that he would call me next week to set up a date...we'll see if he keeps that promise.

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+1 y

He actually ask me out again and it went really well, I hope to see him next weekend again. So sad that he has to work so much.

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+1 y

He has to work this weekend, I don't mind, but it doesn't feel right. I guess, even if he is interested it's just not working out like this.

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+1 y

We went out two more times, also to the cinema. It was really great and he wants to meet me again - actually he also wanted to meet me last weekend but I was sick ;(, but this weekend we'll meet again if only for a few hours.

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+1 y

I don't know what happened, but somehow he seems to have changed his mind. He still has to work a lot, but tries to make time for us, because otherwise we wouldn't be seeing us for weeks and apparently he doesn't want that. I guess he must be interested.

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+1 y

We've been talking daily now for the last couple of weeks, he sometimes calls me even twice a day. We still can only see us on weekends, nonetheless we've become really close. Yesterday I asked him if we are a couple now and he said yes. Thanks everyone!

[PapaBen]

No offense, but it seems like your insecurity [which stems from being nervous] is taking its toll on your relationship with this guy.

Two dates, in my opinion, is not enough to be considered "dating." I think its merely more of a general interest.

What I would recommend is not expect much from any guy, because if he doesn't fulfill what you expect, you begin to despise him. If he doesn't call you too often, big deal. Have you tried calling him? And stop being so negative! "Nothing too good I guess" and "...we'll see if he keeps that promise". If you let this negativity get to you, you can say goodbye to your man for sure. If he comes around, he comes. If he doesn't, big deal.

[Asker]

You're so right, it's not the end of the world if he doesn't come around! I called him quite often & I didn't mind the calling itself, but the way it went I was sliding into the friends' zone fast. Every call I tired to show my feelings, I managed to do so only half way in my last call, but he responded quite positively by calling me and wanting to meet me again, I wanted him to make up his mind if he wanted to see me again, so I waited for him to call. Now I don't want to get my hopes up high,

[PapaBen]

Exactly. You never should expect too much, because when he surprises you with roses or what not, it will be THAT MUCH BETTER.

Don't call him too often though, there's nothing a guy hates more than a clingy girl, even outside of a formal relationship [boyfriend and girlfriend]. Also, he may have responded positively to avoid hurting you or your feelings. My advice is take it slow, super slow. You want things to come too quickly, like two dates = dating is a big no no. Take a breath, relax.

[Asker]

Thanks - I'll keep that in mind. Yeah, I also thought that he might have just said that because he wants to keep me away for a while. Well, whatever I'm not going to call him again until he calls me again, I don't want to end up in the friends' zone or be clingy. So I should have said we "had two dates" instead of "dating"? I'm from a non-english speaking country and we don't have a word for "dating", so I didn't really know that there was a big difference - sorry, if that was confusing.

[PapaBen]

Eh...basically. I mean this is all MY opinion, and I'm no expert. But two dates is more of like "I want to get to know you."

Good luck to you =D

[PredictablePen]

id try talking to him about it. you can figure out exactly how he feels about the whole thing and maybe try another date

[Asker]

Well, I feel like that might seem desperate, but on the other hand how else am I supposed to find out about how he feels or rather why he lost interest or if so...also by the way he reacts I guess I will already get my answer.

[Louise123]

Sounds like you are setting yourself up for rejection. Even if you asked him - what makes you think he'd answer? Why do you pursue somebody who doesn't want to be pursued? He knows your number. PLEASE let him go. My guess is he wouldn't tell you anyhow. Sorry. Please.. for your sake.. MOVE ON. You need to get control of your nerves and gain a bit more confidence, Dear.

[Asker]

It's hard to let go, because I haven't felt like that for a while. By the way we were collegues, so it's not that he's a complete stranger that I'm pursuing here. But I guess you're right, he has my number. So let's see if he comes around to call me in less than a week. I said some things that might really have put him off, you see, and as any man his confidence might be not as good as it seems, which could be why he has stopped asking me out...we'll see. But thank you for your concern - I appreciate it!

[flower1000]

my man went away for 6 weeks 4 times every month I waited and payed off 10 days is nothing he's testing you meet up again try get over these nerves you must really like him this is why you need to tell him and your nervious about round him he will totaly understand then what happend please meet him tell him let us know good luck try keep it in your head he's just a friend act the way you would round your friends

[Asker]

Thanks for your support...it's so hard to wait upon a guy, but what else can you do :S He suggested another meeting, so I hope I get another chance then.

[flower1000]

you must sit him down and tell him you like him and the reason your acting like this is becouse you like him if he's a good man he will smile take your hand or kiss you say its OK it will take a diffrent root to your relationship he will also know you can open up to him be truthfull just by doing that

[Asker]

Thank you, you put it very well...that's exactly what I feel that I have to do, sit down and not talk so much nonsense. I hope I have the guts to do that...but I think that I really must try it. :/ I think I owe that to him and me...he was always quite fair and honest with me...more than any other person before anyway.

[Louise123]

If this guy liked you - he would have forgiven the nerves that you showed - and asked for another date. Let him go. Find a new man who will adore you. Don't embarass yourself. Hugz.

[Asker]

Yeah, I thought so too...I sadly also feel that maybe he felt rejected or put-off by my behaviour, I can't really say at the moment...I guess I should try to let him go...it's just really hard because I like him so much. :/

[flower1000]

If he likes you he will come to you but I think he does like you the way I would do it is not tex or contact him for a couple of days keep a low key to see if he misses you and sit and wait what he does I hope your OK and remember this I went through something like this a long time ago there always plent more in the sea you will like some 1 else in your life if not many more trust me and just think you have still to meet them it will come its exiting to think you will still meet and marry thatco

[flower1000]

No don't let him go or give up that easy he might be the right 1 for you he obv likes you send him a note on it like a joke fancy going out tonight for some dinner or something you need to get him alone on a date it will sort it out before some 1 else gets him let us know dontt let him go feelings like that don't come round to often I went through the same thing good luck be good lol

[Asker]

He works almost 24/7 at the moment and when he has a free weekend he spends it with me. It's not like we're both still at school and have so much time to get to know each other. I'll finish school soon and need to learn a lot for my exam. But at our last date there was definitely chemistry there and he still wants to meet me despite his busy schedule I guess I'll just go with it and see where it leads. If he didn't want to meet with me he wouldn't have called.

[Asker]

I've been dumped often enough to know that if a man is not interested he just stops calling and won't even return any calls - even if the date went well. I went on two super-horrible dates with this one and he hasn't "given up" on me yet, so I don't think he's that uninterested. I hope I'm right about this ;)

[cutekid]

Gues you should build up your confidence and go 4 a second chance..

[flower1000]

good so he does like you but tell him your nervious open up and he will to :))) just pretend he's and aked when your out with him it will make you giggle lolllll

[Anonymous]

NO! Damit! Go after what you want! This is the 21st Century and girls should go right up to boys and pursue them the way they pursue us. Guess What? IT WORKS!

[minimalist]

if a guy likes a girl He calls her every hour.. I can't want to destroy your hopes .

[Anonymous]

If you want to find out if He's interested in your say are you excited I am. It might not work but its with a try if I doesn't work tell him how you feel.

[Anonymous]

I think you should wait awhile but either way he'll see it as you saying you still like him.

[Anonymous]

Yeah why not?

[Anonymous]

Your welcome :D