Can you be with someone who has different morals than you?

[phil2]

OK, so what if you meet someone and they have different morals than you do? Then you fall in love, do you continue to date them or not? Why?

What happens if they like to steal?

Or smuggle drugs and sell them?

Or do a lot of different illegal drugs?

Or they don't take care of themselves (bad teeth, bad odor, bad clothes)

Or they talk a lot of bad things (like curse a lot and swear words?)

Or they are like a whore or prostitute type life? Or they like to do bad things with sex?

Or anything that might be immoral to you? What happens if they do bad and mean things to other people (egg people's house, tire slashing, stealing people's dogs or cats and killing them etc)

You know what I mean, what happens if their morals are different from yours? Will you still be in a relationship with them because you love them? Or NO, and why?

What happens if they want you to approve of their bad behaviors? What happens if they want you to also do it with them? Will you go ahead and approve, or do it with them? Will you still date them if they did not stop? Will you date them if they do stop? What do you think?

By the way I'm with a guy whom is a great guy, but he does some immoral things I don't like. He says what he does is not wrong, and that I should do it with him some times. He did these bad things with his ex, and I totally disapprove. I'm so afraid that he'd do it again and what happens if he gets caught and go to jail. He could get a federal offense like my friend did! And what happens if he makes it seems like I did it? If I get caught with the stuff he does, I could go to jail! Am I naive to be thinking this or worrying for nothing? What do you think? Should you worry if you were with someone who's immoral more than yourself? Help! Thanks!

Yes, as long as s/he doesn't make me do anything I feel is wrong.

No, because I feel like I'd be peer pressured to do the wrong thing also.

Yes, I want to try to raise my horizon on life and try different things.

No, I have my own reasons... (please explain)

[Malcom_Reynolds]

It would greatly depend on what specifically, of those listed:

Drugs: when it comes to the hard drugs like cocaine, heroin, and meth, then no. If it's pot or ecstasy or something like that, then probably.

Don't take care of themselves: That's not a moral thing, that's more something I'd just find unattractive.

Swearing: I swear a bit so that's not a moral thing. If they were someone who swore every second or third word, that would get annoying very quickly.

Talking behind people's back: Not something I morally object to as there is technically nothing wrong with it, I'd just think you're a mean person and doubtful I'd want to stay with you.

Prostitute/Whore: I would be OK if that was in her past, but I'd would not be OK with her being a prostitute. If we were in an open relationship and she "got around" I'd probably be OK with it, I'm not really the jealous type, so long as she was really only having a relationship with me.

Bad Things with sex: Unless you're talking about rape or sexual assault I'm again not sure how this is a moral question. If you are, then I'd be reporting them to the police. If you're referring to bondage of S&M or something like that, not really into it, though I don't find it morally questionable, it comes down to what you are comfortable doing with your partner.

Random Acts of Vandalism: No, this is doing something at someone else's expense and I see it as too selfish and inconsiderate.

Stealing: Again no, if you're stealing so you can eat, that's one thing, but if you're stealing simply because you want it, you have no right.

Killing people's pets: Serial Killer in the making.

If it came down to a difference in opinion on whether or not something is morally right (example abortion, religion in schools) but didn't affect our day to day lives, as long as we could be civilized about it then I'd say probably yes. Remember, morals are relative. Most of the things listed, I probably would still date them if it was only in their past.

[phil2]

Thanks for answering and taking the time to thoroughly explain yourself. In the sex question, yes as in rape and such. But I think your last statement sort of summarized how you feel, as long as it was "only in their past". Thanks for your personal insight.

[jessthatgirl]

If it makes me uncomfortable and in danger then no. No matter how much I loved that person, I wouldn't take that risk. especially that illegal drugs, etc. It's just too much for me. I'd just try to surpass my feelings until it fades. I mean it could work if he respects me but the things that he is doing is too much for me to have a good life with him if you know what I mean. No I don't think it would last long so I wouldn't put myself in the situation. I'd find a guy that has similar morals, respects me and that I love rather someone I love but cannot support me properly.

[phil2]

Thanks for answering. very interesting. I do think love can conquer all, but some times it is risky and I'm taking the risk so we'll see! good luck with your love life too.

[jessthatgirl]

Np :) and good luck to you too!