I can't cry. Is that normal?

[NineBreaker]

I was watching Hacksaw Ridge (awesome movie, by the way). It's a war movie during WWII, particularly the Pacific front. There was a specific scene at the end of the movie that really got to me.

SPOILER ALERT:

At the end of the movie, the real Desmond Doss was interviewed. He said:
"I was praying the whole time. I just kept praying, 'Lord, please help me get one more.' When I got this, I said, 'Lord, please help me get one more.'"

I felt really choked up, I had a lump in my throat, and my eyes welled up a bit. I was crying, but no tears ran. His captain, Captain Jack Glover was also interviewed, and as he was talking about Doss, a tear ran down his face. It got me thinking: I don't remember the last time I actually cried and tears ran down my face. It doesn't mean that I hadn't been profoundly sad, or my eyes welled up with tears of joy (that did not overflow).

I feel the feelings, and I have the facial expressions, but tears running down my face? I don't even remember the last time that happened. Maybe 5 years ago when my dad passed away, but even then, not much. I'm not (consciously or) actively trying to be macho by holding back tears.

I genuinely don't understand when people say they had "a good cry". Then, there's people who can cry on cue. HOW?

I decided that I would play every sad, emotional, moving, or nostalgic song or music track in my music library. Sure, there were a bunch of tears being jerked, but actually cry? I tried so hard, but failed. I read somewhere that anatomically, the tear glands and ducts of women are different, and therefore, women are more likely to have tears run down their cheeks. Is that a plausible explanation?

Let me be clear: I am not suppressing my feelings. I was deliberately trying to let myself cry. I felt the feelings, but none of the tears. And no, I don't have a medical condition that affects my tear production.

Opinions anyone?

Yes, that's normal and/or healthy.

No, that's not normal/healthy.

Other.

[TheHelleri]

Men tend to have far lower levels of prolactin than women do on average. Which is a hormone closely tied to the production of emotional tears. Not crying when others might doesn't mean that you are less empathetic. What's important here is that you do seem to recognize when crying would be appropriate. You have the correct emotional responses to external stimuli. That it takes a lot more direct tragedy which effects you personally to trigger a physical response is just a matter of bio-chemistry.

[Sevenpointfive]

you haven't had anything to cry about. your emotions haven't run deep enough in any situation to give you the capacity to relate to a tragedy, loss, triumph, escape... how is this possible?

[NineBreaker]

Yes, I have experienced this, and I have felt profound sadness, loss, empathy, nostalgia... etc. I will feel a lump in my throat and my eyes would well up, but tears can't seem to physically have the tears spill out.

[Sevenpointfive]

there's nothing wrong with your eyes? tear ducts? have you talked and opened your heart up to a friend, or someone that wouldn't judge you if you'd cry? crying can be very private, which is why i can't believe this. you can't be that dehydrated. try some artificial tears. put them in and watch yourself in a mirror while you are emotional.

[NineBreaker]

No, there's nothing wrong. If I yawn really hard, my eyes will tear up and will occasionally overflow and tears would run down, but that's not really crying. You can doubt my narrative as much as you like, but that's not really addressing my question at all. I have a number of theories as to why I'm like that, but you seem to be stuck on doubting my experience, which is different from yours.

[Sevenpointfive]

not at all. i'm choosing to close off certain pathology. i believe this is happening. i believe it's more mental than physical. if i cut to the chase, i think that you had it ingrained not to cry.

[NineBreaker]

Maybe. I don't know.

[Sevenpointfive]

i watched your link. if you haven't watched "band of brothers", then do. it's an incredible series.

[Wowgirl10q]

Not really but I'd rather a man not cry then be running around crying all through the town

[Wowgirl10q]

I don't understand a good cry either I'm more of a good drink person

[NineBreaker]

So, I can interpret your answer as "No, it might not be normal, but not bad." Possibly?

[NineBreaker]

I see. Well, I don't drink, so I don't get that either, but to each their own.

[Wowgirl10q]

Not bad not good don't worry regardless

[Wowgirl10q]

I'd be fine with that but I'm an a**

[ThisDudeHere]

Give me a couple of minutes and I could cry on cue.

[furiousrat]

I haven't cried in about 5 years either. Didn't even cry when my grandfather died

[Vulture051]

Normal? Yes, healthy? Eh maybe not. It's a release valve.

[Spahija]

Some of us just have a higher threshold to emotional stimulus, and we don't show or emote our feelings. It's OK. You do you.

[Nachowedgie]

Some people are like that