Guys why would you still want to be friends with a girl you rejected?

[Alice2398]

So this guy rejected me and things just got really messy and complicated between us.

Before he knew I liked him, we were best friends, we'd do everything together, we were like two peas in a pod. He was always be such a chivalrous gentleman with me and I thought we were both falling in love with each other till he found out how I felt and eventually after months of acting obvious to it, he got one of his friends to tell me, he didn't want to be with me. I didn't get it. why would he go to all that effort for me to like him? If he was never interested. After that I avoided him because things just felt awkward between us and I couldn't pretend nothing was going on anymore like he was.

How after a while he's been being really nice to me again and trying to be my friend. Complimenting me and trying to spend lunch times with me again like we used to. But I can't forgive him nor trust him even though I still love him deep down because of all the games he played and the way he treated me afterwards. He broke my heart and I was crying myself to sleep every night but he was too busy trying to get one night stands in nightclub toilets to notice the damage he did. It's to late for him to try and get a friendship with me going again and I don't understand why he'd want to be my friend or why he'd think I'd want anything to do with him after everything. I just give him one world answers and try to avoid him now.

Updates

+1 y

Yes I'm talking about Jordan the guy who was sick on my shoe's and told me he'd rather have his right hand over me

Updates

+1 y

I just want tell him to go away and leave me alone. Because its so difficult to hate him and move on when he's being really sweet and kind to me

[Knighted2170]

Me, personally, I'm able to be friends with ex's. This is a different case though. This guy plays with your feelings which is possibly one of the worst things one person could do to another.
It's possible he could just want to be friends, but it really depends on your feelings towards him. If you can't detach your romantic feelings from him you are going to go through another emotional round of crying yourself to sleep.
If a guy is not finding you as girlfriend material, or more, from the start nothing is really going to change that. That kind of thing really only happens in the movies. If you really want closure with this, you need to just tell him what he did, and how it made you feel. Otherwise, every time you see him those feelings are going to come back to you.

[Frankenstein99]

You know it isn't always about you. This guy doesn't owe you "romantic" love. You can genuinely like someone and NOT have those kinds of feelings for them.
Now the only question is did he lead you on (if so that's not ok). Or did you misinterpret him?
The single best piece of advice i can give you is there are 3.5 billion men on the planet why waste your time and energy on one that isn't interested. And when you get over your heartbreak hopefully you'll take this advice.

[Alice2398]

He definitely lead me on. No straight man goes to that much effort for a girl if they have no intentions.

[Alice2398]

Plus it's usually always about him. I can't say or do anything with another man or he gets jealous, yet he's not interested. That's kinda selfish don't you think?

[Frankenstein99]

Well then it sounds to me like he's really not interested in you. He just gets a high from you being interested in him. In that case the best thing you can do is to drop him flat.

[RabbitOfSeville]

@Frankenstein99 Clever observation.

[jennifer_bloom]

I think he did you enjoy your friendship - he probably did not want the responsibility and commitment of being with one girl long term - some guys have commitment issues - he may also have been afraid of losing the friendship over his dating you so could have avoided it also to be your friend longer. I understand you don't feel comfortable with a guy who doesn't believe in monogamy with you and its reasonable you want to cut him off.

[luvstoned4him]

Get one night stands in tiolets? and you still wanna be with this guy

I just think he doesn't know what he want or doesn't want serious love. You will be ok. Pick up the pieces and move on.

[Alice2398]

He didn't actually go ahead with it though. He calms he didn't know which toilet to go in but I think he got nervous and didn't actually want to do it but just pretended he did to impress his friends

[luvstoned4him]

@Alice2398 I pray you will be ok. It can be hard when you love someone especially a friend and they dont reciprocate those feelings. Maybe in the future he may change his mind but for now just try to be the best friend you can be.

[Alice2398]

Thanks 😊

[luvstoned4him]

@Alice2398 your welcome

[RabbitOfSeville]

I've had a similar experience. For me, the idea of having this feeling for another I couldn't control was very hard for me to accept. I couldn't stand that it had power over me and this lead me to act out in very strange and non-constructive ways. Things changed, though. One day, it was like I finally exploded apart. Uncontrollable crying for a while. After calming down enough, I surrendered, conceded my defeat, and finally confessed that I did, in fact, love her. It didn't last forever but we still had some very good years as a family and they're among some of my most cherished memories.

[BadgerBeast]

You know, us men are humans too... Sometimes we really like a person (guy or girl) but just don't see them as romantic partners... :(

JK JK. You're doing the right thing by avoiding him. If he's even remotely interested in you, this will send the message that you're not a fuckwit who's gonna take whatever he throws at you. Try to minimize contact and if he likes you, he'll respond.

[ak667]

Your guy sounds very different but in my case rejecting a girl doesn't have to end a friendship as long as there are no feelings involved and she just got a bit too flirty or something like that and I wasn't interested. Still we can be friends, no problem. Now if she has feelings for me in a way that go beyond a basic sort of attraction and interest and I don't feel the same way, then I might avoid being friends with her to allow her to move on and find a guy who feels the same way, so to speak.

[ak667]

In the latter case though, if she gets a boyfriend and has clearly moved on, and we were friends before, I'd be happy being friends again.

[ak667]

I have one like that. She got a bit too drunk one night and kissed me and I wasn't feeling same way for her. She is not my type so much -- very emotional and high-maintenance and cries all the time. But she's still fun as a friend and she took it well and got boyfriend just weeks after. She is now married with child and I'm still friends with her and her husband. So I don't see why a rejection should end a friendship unless there are feelings involved of a kind that would interfere with that.

[ak667]

Oh, we were wearing stupid Halloween costume in that pic. We don't always dress like that. :-D

[carlos1978]

He should've been upfront to avoid this outcome AND you should've asked earlier, before loves roots grew deep, if he was not forthcoming. I'M NOT BLAMING YOU. I'm saying you didn't ask. There's no right or wrong here, only choices. It's not etched in stone that you HAVE to ask, but if it looks like it's going somewhere and there's no discussion about it then it is probably wise to find out why.
Believe me, if I thought we liked each other, I'd bring it up... a few times.

[valualty]

It's called contingency plan. Lol or perhaps it's a sense of caring

[Alice2398]

So as I thought he's just trying to keep me as a option

[valualty]

Thoughts and asdumptions can't be accurate without facts. But if you feel that way. Stay away

[WhereAmI]

Only in a controlled environment. Women don't take rejection well and would most likely continue to flirt or worse.

[WhereAmI]

Sounds like he just wants to be friends since he doesn't easily fall in love like yourself. I think he respects you and just wants to be out hitting on women with his mates. He's not mature enough to be with you at this point in his life.

[Mexicoman101]

I wouldn't. But I might still want to be friendly with them, I just would find it to be cruel to keep them around as friends knowing that's what they want.

[On_the_other_hand]

Tell him "Fuck the friend zone. Are you in or are you out."

But you do risk he will get with you and then bounce.

[Frankenstein99]

lol she's a woman you know she's not going to do that

[RabbitOfSeville]

@On_the_other_hand I must agree with Frankenstein99. Entirely unrealistic.

[On_the_other_hand]

@Frankenstein99 Depends on what she really wants. If she just wants him to go then she absolutely won't do it.

If she wants him to give it a go, then it is one of her best options.

But I agree she probably just wants to bounce. That advice is much easier to give.

[RabbitOfSeville]

@On_the_other_hand Ah! Now *that sounds realistic!

[hansukota]

He enjoyed your company as a friend. Perhaps he doesn't want to b more than friends but he may not want to loose Ur friendship either.

[Rangers]

I've tried because one girl was very cool and I thought maybe we could be friends. I only found that I was wasting my time and energy with her.

[jpmodelsxft]

No, i don't think so. In general, the person doesn't necessarily want to stay close to the person for whom she/he had feelings and who rejected her/him in the end...
I will remain respectful and don't humiliate the person... I find it childish.

[Nik1hil]

In case he looses his Right hand he can use your help 🤣😂🤣😂

[BellumEtPacem]

He's, from what I can tell, trying to keep a friend. True friends are hard to come by.

[larry69]

Are you sure he doesn't regret everything and now wants you?

[pizzalovershouse]

Most guys wouldn't be friends with somen1 they rejected

[Logorithim]

He probably feels guilty.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a true fuck. Go ahead and forgive him. It’s not like you’ll ever forget it.

[Anonymous]

cause he knows you won't want to leave him. he's teasing you, basically

[Opinion Owner]

your status only proves me right

[Hannajenky]

SOmetimes you just have to move on

[Stan_Control_]

No... But i guess I still am...

[Guanfei]

That would be hard, I'd feel kinda guilty.

[Gottabsavagee]

Keep options open

[jus_chill]

Keep moving...

[jaejaeraa]

Guys are weird.

[ItalianGuy777]

Sure why not?