Guys, if your wife/gf raises her voice at you, and you feel disrespected, do you lose interest?

[Anonymous]

If your wife/girlfriend raises her voice at you, you feel like she’s the boss of you, and feel like she’s disrespectful do you start to fall out of love? I feel like I’ve been that way towards my husband and he acts differently and the last time we fought he just started yelling and telling me to stop raising my voice. He also said he “didn’t like me anymore”. Which I felt like he was referring to my behavior. And ever since he’s been cold to me. How do I change to make him feel differently? Or have a change of heart? What will make a man feel respected and in charge again?

[Matthieu-G]

Raising your voice to a man... Big nono. We cannot hit you (which is great!) so we are forced to take it. This creates frustration that cannot be released productively. A man is in his element when he is the one taking decisions and in control, once the woman invades that sanctum, he feels invalidated as a man.

Besides, you have better options and tools to influencing a man than yelling. Telling him that you like certain things he does rather than saying you dislike it when he does something is a start. Positive reinforcement. Would you rather be told "I HATE IT WHEN YOU IGNORE ME!" or "I love it when you give me that back massage you are SO good at." Notice, in the second one, you encourage a behaviour AND compliment him.

Men are brutes and strong... but we also have hearts and when we seek a woman it's to be able to open up that part of ourselves that feels... As talking about feelings with other guys doesn't work. When you yell... Great, you are doing what his guy friends are doing to him anyway. He doesn't need MORE of that. In fact, it makes you look masculine and gives off a male energy. Be in your feminine and suggest rather than redress. Give him tiny tasks that help him feel like "hey, I need you... and only you because YOU do it so well."

[killmejerusalem]

Any raised voice in a relationship is an immediate red flag to me. Communication is the most important thing and if it gets to a point of yelling, we've failed in the relationship. I don't argue and I've never raised my voice to someone I love. I expect the same.

[Guideline]

From a mans point of view, no one want to be treated like a family pet. And finding out the hard way as my father, father-in-law, brother and I or at least I saw first hand due to marrying domineering women. Putting your wife or husband on a pedestal by allowing them to due whatever they want through ought a relationship or marriage is not acceptable in any relationship. Both men and women need to compromise together or dissolve their relationship no matter how long they are together. And don't believe for one second their differences can be worked out through counseling.

[Dreagon]

It depends on why she's raising her voice. There are legitimate reasons to do so. If she does so for no reason I definitely lose interest.

[Anonymous]

Your question should really be "I'm toxic and I don't comprehend why he doesn't want to tolerate it"

I'm going to let you in on a little secret, there is no undo button for your drama. Men can only tolerate so much, and then we move on permanently.

[jss123]

Massive red flag for me... My ex was emotionally abusive. That was one of her tactics. How would you feel if he did that to you?

[boggboss]

Stop doing what turned him off from you

[Giggletr0n]

No, but then again when she shouts I ignore it