Is my friends with benefits starting to catch feelings?

[Anonymous]

So me and this guy have been friends with benefits for almost two years. At first it was one sided. I liked him and he didn’t like me. He treated me like shit actually and we would constantly go on breaks and end up hooking up again. This was in the early beginning tho. I eventually began dating someone else and got over him, then when me and my boyfriend broke up we found our way back to each other but this time we were finally on the same page and I strictly only wanted friends with benefits. Lately we’ve been seeing each other a lot more and our conversations in person been a lot more longer. We laugh together more compared to before when we first met it was awkward and I was too scared to even giggle around him. Now he’s the only guy I’ve known that I’ve been so comfortable with. And today we saw each other again and cuddled and he looks at me a lot more and longer than usual when I don’t notice we also don’t fuck right away. Today when I came home he texted me saying he doesn’t want to see me again because he feels like I’m using him. And it was the most out of ordinary thing I’ve ever got. Today we got closer than usual and now he’s saying I’m using him and I can tell he’s too scared to admit a lot of things to me he’s dodging my questions. But if he feels like I’m using him doesn’t that mean he wants more? Why else would a guy say that. I told him he shouldn’t feel that way and he’s been acting moody ever since but I’m trying to make him admit what’s the real problem I just don’t know how or if it’s the fact he has feelings for me. After a year and a half of me chasing after him and then finally only wanting what he wanted.. now he wants more?

[Livinglogical]

'Why else would a guy say that?'
OK, either he is too much of a wimp to say 'hey, I like you, let's be more that f*ck buddies' or the one I suspect, is he is trying to draw you back in further because he likes the ego trip of knowing you like him. Maybe he felt you were pulling away.

Its been my exprience that f*ck budies often don't work because one side is on a power trip of wanting the other person to like them. Sometimes these sorts are really pretty nasty people too because they will act like they've caught feelings JUST yo get you to feel secure in liking them more. And then whip the carpet out from under your feet by saying they don't actually want anything more from you.

My gut tells me that if he honestly decided he liked you, he would just be straight up about it rather than accusing you of using him and making you feel bad. The fact that he 'treated you like shit' further indicates he may be manipulating you.

How did he take it when you got a boyfriend before?

I say get rid. Totally rid of him. He isn't a good guy.

[ITGirl95]

He enjoyed you chasing after him, it was an Ego boost. Now he misses that feeling and seeing that you are not doing that anymore is an ego bruise lol. It seems he has caught feelings, speak to him and find out what the issue is. Lay it all on the table and explain what you want from him too. Him saying that you are using him could just be a way of getting you to say that you still like him, don't fall easily into his traps.

[SexyAshh]

Lol girl, i have been with a guy like this for 8 years now, i can fully relate!.

Basically he's playing mind games, trust once u give in he will bounce.

If u want to pm feel free. Im in the same boat but im just messing with him at this point

[Asker]

I requested to follow u for I can message you!

[Finchie40]

doesn't sound like he knows what he wants , but it sounds like he likes the convienence of you , so something u really need to think about cuz this guy doesn't sound like relationship material to me , He sounds like he is playing mind games , why FWB's is a stupid thing , usually turns out bad

[MannySimms]

Please remember that men are swine. You can complain about that in the church of your choice. Guys always want to get laid or a nifty blowjob.

Back in the day we classified teens like you as "easy".

[BrittBratt2416]

wahhhh? I would just ask him straight up what the heck he wants. Does he want to just stay friend with benefits or does he like you more. If he can't give you a straight up answer then i would just leave it alone and ask if we wants to continue whatever you got going on or not.

[GuidoThePizzaMaker]

Friends with benefits is dysfunctional af
He wants love and companionship
It sounds like you two get along well, why not ask him to be your boyfriend
Or if you dont want that, tell him you can't sleep with him anymore

[XRabbitHeartX]

Possibly. Best is to be upfront and ask him directly why he feels you are using him. If he truly likes you, he will then disclose this information.

[Vesta]

friends with benefits IS IMMORAL and is LIKELY ILLEGAL

[OverShadowed]

Having friends with benefits can be proactive towards sexual health and well-being if kept within a healthly amount, and there is absolutely no law against having casual sex in pretty much any country

[Vesta]

If you're defending friends with benefits, you're likely immoral yourself

And are likely a criminal

[Juxtapose]

This is one of the stupidest things I've read all month.

[Vesta]

Just saying

Just cause you don't like it, doesn't mean it's not true

[Juxtapose]

It's not illegal and morality is subjective.

[thomual]

I'm just as baffled as you!

[Chanel1981]

How frequently do you talk?

[Asker]

almost everyday

[Chanel1981]

So you're good friends, why not talk about it?

[Asker]

they haven’t been responding to any of my messages I’m just gonna give them space

[Chanel1981]

Good plan

[Agem123]

Aren't you like, too old for this shit?

[Asker]

I’m in in teens lol