Catching feelings for my friends with benefits?

[Anonymous]

So I’ve been sleeping with someone for 3.5 years and like I’ve told him I had feelings before and we semi dated and it kinda faded out. sometimes we do cute things together like drink wine & watch the sunset but most of the time we don’t really talk between hanging out & then I feel kinda bummed after. Why would someone keep a girl around for so long, just
for the sex & convenience? Am I just playing myself I feel like there’s plenty of other people out there

[RyanK9b]

Yes, we can separate this.
We can enjoy time, having fun and bang without having feelings.

Maybe he has some, but that's not the point here.

[Asker]

He act like he have feelings. Sometimes we don’t even have sex. I can keep it straight in my head when he makes it clear but lately he be acting way too sweet and it mess with my head way & that makes it way harder

[Wise4myage]

Yep, for the sex & convenience. And I think you are playing yourself.

[spartan55]

Why wouldn't he? He found a woman who doesn't respect herself enough to let some dude fuck her whenever he wants with no commitment.

[Lolasss]

@spartan55 I’m on the same boat as her 😢 but yes I totally get we’re ur coming from. Me and my friends with benefits go at the most 2 weeks with no contact now he just ask if I can go over. No conversations like before he used to be so like clingy always texting Gm and gn and now it’s like no text ever the whole two weeks. But yea I guess we just let them in when they want and that’s all they need from us 🙁

[spartan55]

friends with benefits almost never works out for women. It amazes me any woman would ever get into one of those sleazy arrangements.

[RyanK9b]

@Lolasss why are you surprised? You made that agreement and now wonder thats the only thing he wants?

[Lolasss]

@RyanK9b not surprised just bummed about the whole thing ig lol

[Asker]

Yeah it’s a bummer I feel you

[Asker]

I never felt disrespected tbh at least when we were together he was the most respectful guy. I’ve felt way more disrespected by people I’ve dated and talked to

[spartan55]

Well by only considering you as an friends with benefits indicates a fundamental lack of respect from the jump. It says..."eh you're nice but.. I only want to fuck you".
He did good if he made you feel respected, but let's be honest here: if he truly respected you he would want a relationship with you.

[Asker]

Yeah you’re right that’s true

[BarryLiverstone]

For the sex and convenience

[BarryLiverstone]

And yes, by now you are just playing. If you want a secure relationship it’s probably not gunna happen with them

[Asker]

Yes I clearly am. But he does stuff like invite me to hang with him & his friends and gives me hella compliments & offers to help me move & things I would never ask him to do but most often falls off the face of the earth

[BarryLiverstone]

Makes sense. He knows you don’t wanna feel used so does enough to keep you wanting more

[Asker]

Yeah checks out

[BarryLiverstone]

Hope you haven’t fallen in love

[Asker]

I always liked him but I’ll be aight

[BarryLiverstone]

Yep, you can find someone who wants you

[ButthurtGAGpeople1]

This is why friends with benefits IS STUPID

[spartan55]

You got that right.