True or False: Somebody always catches feelings with a friends with benefits situation?

[coachTanthony]

True

False

see poll ( I will take any kind of benefits right now coach )

[livin_hi_808]

I would have to say TRUE coach and have to say that it's guys who are the ones who catch feelz more often than girls. As guys we tend to express our emotions and grow our emotional bonds to girls through sex becoming ultimately our primary connection to themp. Whether its a positive or negative connection, it's the foundation and glue that gets us stuck wanting to maintain and preserve that relationship. Women get attacked by oxytocin (the love hormone) immediately after sex. Well after orgasmic sex at least which causes them to want to bond afterwards. But over time and the number of partners begin to add up, emotions and hormones begin to take different effects primarily on women because they've learned to cope with the effects of oxytocin and the rejection that tends to come from guys who are ignorant to the effects of sex on a female. In time leaving girls with a bit more calloused and less inclined to emotional vulnerability when they have deemed a relationship just a fling. Friends or not, she could cut it off a lot quicker and easier than an emotionally immature guy who still uses sex as a form of validation of true feelz for a girl.

[rounddablock]

Sex releases hormones in the brain. Women can get attached but men can too.

I guess if there is very thorough communication early that this is just what is THEN nobody sets unrealistic expectations. But then there are brain chemicals going on.

In my experience women absolutely hate hearing it when a guy outright. asks for friends with benefits. That has never worked for me even though that was plainly going on.

More commonly the girl hopes to date OR she cuts off the benefits and unrealistically wants “just friends”. Ah no. Bullshit. Once you crossed that line you crossed that line.

That is a sore point for me because there are 3-4 women who I briefly dated and got sexual with who tried to pull that bullshit later. One girl asked twice one time when I explicitly told her the friendzone would never be an option. We banged two more times and then asked for that crap again (she wanted to get out the picture to focus on someone else. Huge fucking insult (no pun intended). I told her no, best of luck and to hit me up she ever wanted to hook up again. We had a long kiss goodbye. I never heard back but at least i left with my self respect.

[Rei02]

We, specially women, have been programmed subcounsciously that having sex and falling in love are very, very connected. Having sex is an act of love, everything else is just meaningless or an act of violence and depravation.

Even though things have been changing, where having sex doesn't mean anymore that you necesarily need to be married, or having a formal love relationship, very deep of our being we still believe that sex has to be pleasure and a deeper connection with him/her.

However, generations have changed, and I am still believing that in the future sex will be casual, having sex with anybody even with you work colleagues or school peers, and love will be out, like in Brave New World, because they came to the conclusion that feelings and emotions like love only make people suffer and act irrationally.

[Cynicaldreamer]

I wouldn't know. I'm proud to say I don't do those kind of "relationships" (I use the term very lightly as that's not really a relationship in my opinion).

But more often than not, someone usually does- that's why I don't see how people get in those type of flings. Unless you're able to emotionally detach yourself from seeing the other person in a romantic manner, it seems like drama waiting to happen.

Unless you're just trying to get your primal, sexual urges met? I'm sure it's very possible not to catch feelings. But for the typical human? One of them will usually catch feelings, then get hurt when the other person wants to keep it "casual."

[coachTanthony]

" I don't do those kind of "relationships"

You mean you do serious relationships? Hmmmmm I had no idea :+)- hehehehehehe

[Cynicaldreamer]

I've been known to "dabble" in serious relationships... with the right man that is.
Meaning no, not anymore, LOL

[coachTanthony]

Ha Ha Ha no going back now. Cynical Dreamer does serious relationships after all. Congrats.

[Cynicaldreamer]

[coachTanthony]

Bahahahahahahahahahaha

[Rei02]

I can understand, 5 years ago I had a boyfriend with whom things started pretty well although he didn't want to go further at the moment. Then when I expressed a frustration about not receiving a call from him, he wanted to "degraded" the relationship to friends with benefits. I don't know why, but I didn't want it, and even though I wanted to work hard to maintain the relationship, he ghosted me, so I finished with sending him a last message of letting him go. Pretty sad, but I think he didn't want a serious relationship with me.

[TheorionMage]

NEVER forget, the physical sensory stimulation BY NATURE has evolved over millenae to release addictive 'pleasure/bonding' neuropharmacology (Serotonin, Dopamine and Oxytocin) and every individual's addiction 'threshold' is affected by multiple factors~

Historically, obstinate Prisoners of the French Guiana penal colony 'Devil's Island' would be confined for long periods to solitary confinement where the sole pleasurable diversion was self-pleasuring. In due course, they willingly became masturbatory 'vegetable's ~

[hannahjo022]

Depends on the person. When I was in my early 20's I had some friends with benefits but I never got attached and develop feelings for them and thought if I started a relationship with them I would lose that friendship after the breakup. I told that to a few of my former friends with benefits and they ended up stop talking to me which is weird since they only wanted to be friends with benefits. I stopped doing friends with benefits when I was in my mid 20's and got tired of it. It made me realized that I actually wanted to be in a relationship with attachment and have feelings for someone. But yeah it depends on the person how they feel about their friends with benefits and not all people catch feelings with a friends with benefits.

[Alejandro3000]

Eh? xD you can't switch on and off your feelings. Are you a robot?

[Bee-Hatch]

Fucking hate that phrase "catch feelings" it belittles a normal human reaction trying to make it worthless, and gives a window into how fucked up some areas of society are. Having or developing feelings for another person is not only healthy, but normal. Repression of it- that is fucked up and should rightly be seen as the bad thing.

[kyleelyn199723]

That’s such a weird way of looking at that phrase. It’s normal BUT some people aren’t even trying to like the person and they end up doing so. Catching feelings is not a negative term lol sounds like someone used it in a negative way towards you before

[Bee-Hatch]

I don't date people who would use a phrase like "catch feelings" I prefer to date adults. So no nobody ever used it in relation to me.

[kyleelyn199723]

That’s a pretty normal phrase though lol. I date an adult and this is how me and my boyfriend “caught feelings “ oh well.

[Daniela1982]

@kyleelyn199723 "Developing feeling" is more accurate unless you throw feeling around like a ball. I have no idea where this "catch feelings" phrase originated.

[Bee-Hatch]

You catch a cold. You catch serial killers. You can even catch panic in events of mass hysteria. Outside of sports I'm hard placed to find anything where catch is a positive word.

[Daniela1982]

How about a catch phrase? Or catching a rat with the goods?

[kyleelyn199723]

@daniela1982 I don’t understand the difference lol. It’s literally the same thing

[Daniela1982]

@kyleelyn199723 Sometimes "catching feelings" by one is more like catching the wind.
https://youtu.be/j0Z575iU690

[kyleelyn199723]

@Daniela1982 there’s still not a single difference to developing feelings and catching feelings. Developing and catching are synonyms to each other

[NoLookingAtSoleil]

Yeah, it's funny.
Maybe whoever said that meant 'starts to cling onto their sex buddy for companionship' - since the boomers got the norm to be severe loneliness, so, in desperation, relatively unimportant relationship ends up being the only one they've got (and girls are very prone to hesitating only because they lack a feeling of safety - so once they start to feel safe they don't want to let go).

[Daniela1982]

Most often, but not always. Some people are incapable of love and equate sex as their way of showing their feelings, but it is not real love but most often lust.

[ChrisMaster69]

I went false on this one I had this for a while with couple friends
.

I need to have a high emotional attachment with sex, even then though as long as you are being honest with each other you don’t break your rules, friendship first.

yes it will happen now and then fuck know who does it most.

I've moved one to an apartment to cut down on travel, worked for both of us, I had someone looking after my property and decorate it, she got rent free for 6 months and was close to her Uni.

but no feelings to get in the way.

[Anonymous]

Someone's watching too many romcom and romantic movies. Yesterday there was a question "would you have a baby with a stranger for 1 million dollars".

Makes me wonder if some of the so-called Influencers are employed by G@G to keep traffic on the site, by asking cheesy and generic questions. Because clearly these aren't real-life situations

[Opinion Owner]

*been watching

[Sarahr123]

Yuck that photo

umm no. Not that I’d ever do that. Emotions are separate to physical satisfaction. I don’t get attached to people easily.

[coachTanthony]

Thats justin timberlake... you don't like him?

[Sarahr123]

Nope not my type.

[coachTanthony]

Oh okay.

[williamstorm3]

I would say thats false but I would say that is most of the time what happens since sex is an intimate act where your literal private parts touch eachotehr and you get pleasure that sounds like something people who are close to eachotehr and feel comfortable with eachother do. So if there friends and they do something that is linked to romantic marriage activity, they will probably catch feelings at some point. Not gauranteed, but a very high possibility.

[Screenwriter]

Not sure if it always happens. But I'd agree that it's a regular occurrence and one that should be avoided.

Sex is a difficult thing to get involved in regularly with someone you aren't in a valid relationship with. There have to be strict boundaries if that is the case. friends with benefits is so slippery it leads to problems and dissatisfaction.

[ChiTown33]

I don't have personal experience here but I'd imagine this is true. Because feelings/relationships are not equal and are dynamic not static.

[coachTanthony]

Well I think for the most part yes someone usually catches something LOL

[purplepoppy]

Sex by it's very nature is a bonding exercise. It's a great way to get to know people but I don't think it always leads as far as catching feelings

[hikerunbeer]

I think in order for a friends with benefits situation to work there has to be a certain level of trust. With that trust hopefully comes a certain amount of communication. If someone is catching feelings I'd hope you can share your feelings then decide if space is necessary in order to maintain the friendship.

[electromagnetic]

Not always the case but it does become a challenge with the other people decides they’ve met someone whom they’d like to have a committed relationship with.

[Anonymous]

False. If you pick someone you’re not that attracted to you aren’t going to catch any feelings any time soon if ever.

[coachTanthony]

Why would you sleep with someone you aren't attracted too? I would rather not just do it.

[Opinion Owner]

Me neither. But the whole purpose of a Feb situation is to not get attached while being sexually satisfied right? So obviously that’s the purpose of it.

[coachTanthony]

I guess. Even if you weren't that attracted to them whose to say they wouldn't catch feelings for you?

[Opinion Owner]

Well yeah that’s true, but I’m not sure I could like someone who didn’t like me personally. Then liking me is also part of my attraction to them. I guess people just work in different ways and some people are more bout the unrequited love for some reason.

[Opinion Owner]

Them*

[beebella]

It probably happens more often than not, but I've never been in this situation, so I don't know. 🤷‍♀️

[RingOfFire]

Honestly I never saw the value in friends with benefits. I tried it many times when I was in my teens and 20s. But it was never really even close to as satisfying as sex with someone I love. I guess I just didn't really understand that back then. Eventually it became a boring waste of time. It's only about 10% of the experience. The other 90% is missing.

[Minahh]

I would say not always neccesarily but if you're being intimate with a person especially for a longer period of time there is a high chance that someone is going to develop feelings.

[Alejandro3000]

You catch diseases and also by hooking up with all sorts you ruin your ability to really fall for someone

[rjroy3]

False. But in most cases a degree of bonding takes place and an elevated level of care

[GingerGuy]

I think most of the time true, because I think very few are capable of not (because it's a normal human thing). But if the right two people get together, I think it's possible for them not to. But I think that's very rare.