If we’re breaking generational trauma, will we still mess up parenting?

[Vesuvius87]

Well my parents made many mistakes and I want to give my son a better upbringing. Even though both my husband and I are breaking the cycle of generational trauma, I wonder if my husband and I will still make mistakes?

Hopefully it's not as much as my parents. Our son is now nearly 14 months old and has recently started walking. More boundaries are going to be established. Since we're new to this healthier and new parenting approach (I'm using 2 parenting books, guides and examples on what to do online and through Google AI answers), we have no knowledge of it because no one in our family taught us this. Most in our family didn't even know how to parent without using fear-based parenting.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I'd say there isn't any parenting, or life, without traumas involved. But there's trauma and trauma, so if you can avoid passing on the intense ones then all the better. Ideally, it will create more balanced individuals, that is, if society, and luck, work with you. But you're not responsible for society and luck ofc

[EmmaMary]

Just what the hell is "the cycle of generational trauma"?

[Vesuvius87]

It's when parents had no patience, used to scream at their kids, used verbal threat/harsh tones (dare talkback to me and I'll knock your teeth out) and hit with objects but insteading of using the word hit, some people still have it downplayed as spanking. Then they used to call that ''discipline'' when it's not and never was. It was just pathetic, losers unloading their frustration and anger just because the kid pissed them off at that moment.

[Vesuvius87]

That was the old-school garbage. Pathetic parenting. That's what I mean by breaking the generational trauma because that's been going on for centuries, from genetation to generation. Then people saying they're grateful for that, eww.

[EmmaMary]

Goodness Me!

Thank you so much for the extremely interesting and in-depth explanation.

Thankfully neither my two elder sisters or I ever experienced such horrors, therefore we are all bringing up our own children following the same true values as taught and instilled into us from our amazing loving parents.

Obviously with the best will in the world we will all encounter making the odd mistakes and errors, from which we quickly learn from, and pass on to both my siblings, and in future onto our children.

No one ever said that parenting was going to be easy, but what a wonderful, exciting and fulfilling journey we are on.

[FrodoSkywalker007]

Parenting is always full of failure