Why are friends with benefits so confusing?

[Danny_girl123]

Asked my friends with benefits how long this ”deal” or “fling” is going to last and he said as along as you want it too so should I I even waste my time?

[Anonymous]

Waste your time for what? As you said, he is friends with benefits. If you dont need him, then you can go back to just being friends. If you were expecting it to become relationship, then he does not seem to be having the same idea. Besides, it is a bad idea to hook up with someone with the hopes of getting into relationship later.

[Danny_girl123]

I wasn’t expecting anything because I really didn’t like him at first it was a deal we both agreed but as time went on him and I got really close he let me sleep over his house almost everyday he cooked for me gave me his clothes and we even had deep convos but he got a better job and so did I so it’s been hard to see each but when he is off he calls me to hang out but half of the time we don’t even have sex anymore which is confusing but that was the deal him and I made sometimes he changes it I just thought friends with benefits were only allowed to hook up not chill and do all that extra stuff that’s all so I just thought I was wasting my time since he isn’t really giving me what i need because again half of the time he just wants to hangout kiss and cuddle but not fuck but thanks for the advise

[Opinion Owner]

I mean first you are friends right. Then comes the benefits. And why not be open with him? Tell him you need more sex or say that you will have to look for new friends with benefits.

[Danny_girl123]

I did but all he said was “as long as you want “ so I don't know

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe he is worried that you dont feel the same and are worried about getting used for sex?

[Danny_girl123]

But feel the same about what if him and I made a deal or am I just being dramatic

[Danny_girl123]

When I asked him that he said “why do I bother you “ and I said no I just want us to be on the same page and he was like oh okay cool

[Opinion Owner]

Then feels like everything is okay now. Hit him up for sex and see what happens.

[Danny_girl123]

lol thanks :)

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for MHO.

[October808]

That's not confusing. They clearly stated as long as you want it to last. They're leaving control in your hands.

[Alpha09]

What exactly are you looking for?

[Danny_girl123]

I just want a friend that I could go to for sex and confer he just confused me with all the extra stuff he was doing like I don't know it just threw me off

[Alpha09]

Either he really likes you or it's just how he goes about friends with benefits. I'm the same way, I'll hang out like any two friends would. Go out to the movies, food whatever. That's just me, doesn't necessarily mean I want to date you.

[Danny_girl123]

I don’t even know lol but I just don’t want to ruin the friendship you know like i love the sex when he wants to give it to me lol because lately he hasn’t and I love his company but I can’t do a relationship right now you get me?

[Alpha09]

I completely get it. Some people get in to those and can't handle the boundaries. I'm seeing someone at the moment and we just hook up, we don't hangout, and nobody is getting cozy. My advice, be honest and voice your concerns. See where his mind is at, he could simply just like spending time with you as a friend as well and may not be in the mood for lots of sex, guys can be like that to. If you don't communicate it will only go downhill. Save it while you can, if he's mature he will understand.

[Anonymous]

They are only confusing to females, because females try and look for alternate meaning to shit.
He was straight up...
Your fling or deal will last as long as YOU want it too.
It will never be "more"... males don't get attached during sex like you do and most females have that expectation and it's why they get into the friends with benefits. They think we will magically fall for you once we get it, we won't. But YOU will almost always get attached and want more. Which is why you asked if you are wasting your time.
If you want him to "fall for you"... yes, you are wasting your time.
If you provide sex without effort, we will never see you as more than that. You are just a fun time.

[Danny_girl123]

Thanks

[wankiam]

i think his answer was quite clear and he just said it as it is... im not sure how you can be confused by that. either you want to carry on or you dont but its your decission

[spartan55]

So what were you expecting when you foolishly agreed to be in an FWB? You figure it would only be temporary, and if you fucked him enough he would magically change? Why any girl would get into one of those is mind boggling.

[Danny_girl123]

I wasn’t expecting anything but the way he was acting is confusing because if the deal was sex it should just be sex but he out here kissing cuddling and doing extra stuff that wasn’t apart of the deal because to me friends with benefits is just hooking up not spending time together you get me?

[Danny_girl123]

Before we would have sex all the time but now all he wants to do is chill cuddle kiss and cook for me and give me his clothes to wear so yeah I’m kinda confused because that wasn’t the deal

[spartan55]

Yeah, THEY DON'T WORK. They supposed to be all about making everything easier and more defined, etc, but they end up being WAY more work.

[Danny_girl123]

Thank you :)

[Iron_Man]

It's not a good lifestyle Its not the proper way to do things

[Dark93]

It's very straightforward.
It's just for sex. It's not meant to lead to a real relationship.

[Anonymous]

Because only losers do it

[Danny_girl123]

So what?

[Danny_girl123]

Do *^

[Opinion Owner]

FWB!

[Danny_girl123]

Oh I see

[Opinion Owner]

Only losers, resort to "just sex"

it says "im a loser, so im just going to settle" and not look for something REAL