Can someone help me with this confusing guy situation?

[Anonymous]

!!! help

[Alistar88]

What's the situation?

[Asker]

can i pm you> its about a friend and friend with benefits...

[Alistar88]

Yup you can pm me

[Asker]

i dont think i can pm u. but ill just post it here if thats fine

[Alistar88]

You can pm me if you go to my account and follow me then I gotta follow you and it should work

[Asker]

so like my guy friend and i have been friends since freshman year of college. we didn't think much of each other really. he was daiting my friend at the time. so i guess we ended up havinh class together. he was sad bc of his ex (my friend) and i was sad bc he introduced me to his friend and he was transferring. so yeah. we became close friends. me and another friend ended up going to his place and i was drunk crying and he kissed me. we ended up having sex. i didn’t understand why he was weird after. like he would avoid me and just be weird. i didn’t understand since he has casual hook ups w a lot of chicks so him acting like this was weird. summer came. i didn't talk to him much. i overheard that he was talking to his ex every day. the ex (my friend) doesn't have feelings for him. he hit me up a couple times asking how i was (he was in a different country all summer). weird thing is i was going out one time and he messaged me to stop going out. then he was all like “jk have fun”. later that day he messaged me again (it was actually 4 am) and he asked “whats up”. it was weird bc he had just talked to
me. i didn't respond so he asked a friend of ours to take care of me. he knew that i was hanging out w her and 2 other guys and we were gonna drink. we then talked afterwards until i got home. he was making sure i was alright and stuff. he only did that once. throughout the end of the summer he asked me if i had any hookups or met someone... i said no. see weird thing is he tells me that he has had hookups or has like 3 girls he's hooking up even now... isn't that weird?

[Asker]

anyway. he is trying to get a job at where i work. he's only waiting for one thing and he's in. also... in September he had invited me to his place for a party he was throwing. weird thing is he was with a girl!!! this guy started approaching me and being weird so i called my guy friend asking where he was. and he just popped out of nowhere. the girl disappeared and we ended up in his room. he told me. you called and i told her to leave. its your time now. basically saying that im
more important than her. he later admitted that she has a boyfriend and im like? like they were dancing and everything is so confusing

[Asker]

he ended up telling me that he cares about me. but not just me. his ex aswell and a mutual friend of ours. but he admited that the only person he trusts in this country is me and one other guy friend. he admited that i was cute and that i was smart. and that he sees my work i do that i post on social media and sees that im doing good in school. he touches my hands and kisses them then my face. he doesn't make other moves. we end up putting our forheads together and i just kiss him. we make out and then he asks me how many people I've hooked up over the summer. i said 2. and that was it. we make out more and he asks for friends with benefits and i say i dont wanna get hurt so we dont do anything. we do cuddle tho. i mean later that night we ended up having sex and that was that

[Asker]

later that day i agreed to be friends with benefits and the HE said no. the reason to this was because... his words “those things get messy and i care about u a lot as a friend. i dont wanna lose you. you and another person are the only people i trust here. thats it” i was so touched. i care about him as well. i remember telling him that night that i cared about him too and he was like “you doo?” all confused hahaha. so yeah. its been more than a month and I've talker to him once ina. while. like i said he's gonna work with me. he told me

[Asker]

yesterday that he's seeing someone... seeing as in hooking up. i dont know why he tells me those things

[Asker]

i just sent it to you here hahahahaah :)

[Alistar88]

Noworries, I read it just fine here,

[Asker]

sweet. what are your thoughts?

[Alistar88]

From the first paragraph it sounded like he avoided you because it wasn't his intentions to sleep with you and possibly he was embarrassed that it happen but to himself, not to you. He wanted to figure out for himself if he could be around you without it turning bad. It is a bit odd that even telling you that he likes you that he turns around and talks about his hook ups, almost in a way he wants you to stay at arms length in fear of hurting you so he talks about other sex partners mainly cause it would hopefully turn you off from him. He sounds like he thinks a lot about you, wants to know you are okay and how you are doing. He wants the next step aka dating but feels if it fails then he loses a good friend which is a honest thing to do. I'd almost make the first move in dating, but tell him if things fail that you can go back to friends if emotions dont work out.

[Asker]

im scared to make the first move. i was thinking that i will get really close to him when he works with me so there's that. i dont know how else to show my emotions to him. i have recently told him that im gonna be single forever and he's like “no you're not”. and i also told him i dont wanna get hurt so I've detached from everything. he's like... “there you go youve finally learned. dont date”

[tomasr]

I think you're in the right, don't mind anon

[Anonymous]

Yes, he was right the whole time

[Asker]

lmao what

[Opinion Owner]

Vague question gets a vague answer

[MissDawn7961]

help you with what?