Why did my personal trainer just ask me if I slept with my old trainer?

[Anonymous]

I told him I had a great trainer in 2017.
He blatantly goes did you sleep with him?

My new trainer has been a bit flirty... so I don't know why he would ask me such a random Intimate question

[KrisKris81]

Any guy, especially one who will be in (relatively) close quarters with you while you are in a gym outfit asking a question like that right away is a red flag. He might just be a flirt, but how many of his clients are female?

[Asker]

Only
Me

[Asker]

He also has a girlfriend

[KrisKris81]

How many clients does he have in total?

[Asker]

About five.

[KrisKris81]

Do you meet at a public or private gym? Where were you when he asked you that?

[Asker]

Public gym but at a empty time in our own private area but still on the gym floor. But I was away in a corner

[KrisKris81]

Im not making any assumptions or judgements and don't mean any offense, but are you attracted to him and are worried about how he would react if you accepted a potential advance?

[Asker]

I am very attracted to him and I feel like I’ve known him forever... but he has a girlfriend and I’m not that type. I don’t know if we mutually feel the same way. He’s made slight advances... even while stretching me he took the hand towel and slapped my upper thigh almost my butt with it. I mean if that’s not a advance I don’t know what is... but he’s just been doing all these things and I don’t know what to do with them

[KrisKris81]

I would be careful. If he finds it so easy to flirt with you like that when he already has a girlfriend it might mean he would do the same if you were his girlfriend. How old is he? Do you know how long he has been with his girlfriend?

[Asker]

He’s been with his girlfriend for four years and he’s 29 I’m 26 and she’s older

[Asker]

Plus I noticed he only stretches my legs by throwing them in the air if I am wearing short shorts. If I am not then he just does my knees

[KrisKris81]

I would say things are bad with his girlfriend or he doesn't respect her, but having been together for so long seems to say otherwise. That could be read as a general disrespect toward women. Do they have children?

[Asker]

No children. But they don’t live together which I find odd. He told me the first thing he did this morning was think about what he was going to hand me this morning...

Cause he was handing me weights

And i said hand me please and he said that’s the first thing I thought about this morning

[KrisKris81]

If I am interpreting this correctly, it sounds like he is trying to look up your shorts. Do you get this feeling?

[KrisKris81]

That is an odd situation. Would you be expecting a relationship, just a friends with benefits, or something else?

[Asker]

The thing is I only met him three weeks ago and only had four sessions thats why the question was so bizarre... and yes I do think he’s trying to look up my shorts. I caught him last week

[KrisKris81]

Four years is a lot of history and more trouble than it's worth. Especially since you would be, relatively at least, easy for his girlfriend to find. Not married, no children, not living together, but still dating? That is suspicious, either he's lying to make you feel more comfortable or there is something going on between him and his girlfriend that you probably don't want to get mixed up in.

[Asker]

Definitely do not want to get mixed into any drama as I’ve left drama behind in 2019. I guess I’ll just see what he does that’s all I could do

[KrisKris81]

I hope all goes well for you 🙂

[Asker]

Thank you so so much kris

[CharlieDMX]

He's interested in you. And he's also way too personal with his insecurity

[Asker]

All I did was compliment my old trainer and old the boxing we did and how fabulous it was to box and that was his response... he has a girlfriend

[CharlieDMX]

Then again, him having a girlfriend doesn't mean he won't be interested in other girls, you in this case.

He was curious because he likes you. That's it

[Asker]

What a tragedy. Lmfao. So asking me that question is supposed to go where. I am actually asking honestly. Where does that question go?

[CharlieDMX]

He's insecure. You tell him yes and he might think you are easy and might try to do a move on you. You tell him no and he might be put off and leave you be

[Asker]

I guess I’ll see what he does Monday. Every time after our session: he tells me he’s going to get lunch. I don’t even ask. I wonder if this is his way for me to say; oh I’ll come ! Today he told me he’s going for a massage after training me... just randomly in the middle of nowhere

[outside_Toronto]

He ask because he wanted to know if you slept with him

[Anonymous]

He could just have a crude sense of humor.

[Asker]

With a girlfriend?

[Opinion Owner]

Or in general.

Robin Williams did that with a member of the audience in one of his skits (I think it was "Weapons of Self Destruction"). You would need to take the overall context and what you know about your trainer into account.

[Asker]

Just met him

[Opinion Owner]

Does he make a lot of jokes? If so, that was probably it.

I'm only throwing out the idea. As others have pointed out, there could be other reasons.

It usually takes a while for it to come out of me. But once I get comfortable with someone, my sense of humor can be raunchy.

[Asker]

Mine as well but we’ve only had four sessions which accumulates to four hours

[Anonymous]

Maybe hoping you said yes so he would be next , pretty bold asking that though

[Asker]

I did say yes and he got quiet and disheveled. I don’t get what the benefit is from this question.

[Opinion Owner]

You definitely caught him off guard by saying yes and maybe he was jealous too

[Asker]

How did you know. His demeanor changed 120%

[Asker]

But why would he be jealous? He just met me

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe he wanted to be the first one you did that with

[Asker]

That’s scary. Me and my old trainer though we were best friends first it’s not like I jumped

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah he doesn’t sound to secure and seems to be attracted to you

[Asker]

Truthfully he seems like a whole mess

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah I would just let him know you’re not interested in him that way and just want good training