Is she still interested? Mixed messages?

[Anonymous]

So I went out with this girl a couple of weeks ago. I had been on some mediocre dates since my ex and I broke up, and I was just not feeling a connection with any of the women I went out with. It was different with her. We had an amazing first date, made out for a little bit at the end, and she asked me when she was going to see me again. We made plans for a second date, and in the time in between we texted a bunch and she called two times.

Our second date was on monday, and that went really well also. I was getting all of the signs for her, she was talking about future dates and other stuff, and we had a pretty intense makeout session at the end. We also spent some time talking about sex (things we like, etc) for a while (she initiated) and also about what we are looking for, etc. Although I am looking for a long term dating situation, I also have been trying to keep myself from getting too excited with a girl I like too quickly, but I fear that as a result she might be questioning my intentions (i.e. whether I'm just looking for a hookup situation).

Anyway, we made plans for a third date. We texted/gchatted a bit the next few days, although not as much as before. I know that she had a very busy week though, so that could be a factor. We were supposed to go out on wednesday, but she texted and canceled that afternoon, saying that she had been sick all day and had to go home from school, and apologized. She gchatted me that night though. We rescheduled for Saturday. She texted me early Friday morning to tell me about an interview she had just finished, then called me Friday during lunch. I took those as good signs. Friday evening, however, she texted and said that she had to cancel for saturday, as she had some obligations (she went into detail about what it was, it sounded plausible) that she thought were next weekend but turned out to be this weekend. She added in stuff like "do you hate me?" and "please don't be mad." Then she told me she would let me know when she would be free next week as soon as she knew.

We texted a little yesterday, although not too much.

My question is, do you think she is still interested based on all of that? She seemed so into things, and I'm not really sure what could have happened to change that. Also, I'm not sure why she would be initiating texts with me and calling me if she wasn't interested anymore. Thoughts?

[billy2340]

ive had this happen a few times. I think she is in to you.. what she is trying to do is gain control over you which is what a lot of girls do. she wants to have the upper hand in this and the way to do it is to flake on you with excuses and see your reaction. if you comply and say lets hang out whenever you can she knows she has you by the balls and therefore complete control over you.

MY ADVICE AND PLEASE DO THIS!

when she calls or texts you to hang out please wait about 5 hours to respond and tell her that you made plans with your buddies that day and you could hang out a different day. do not tell her what those plans are, just leave it very vague. if she asks you what you will be doing tell her that you don't know and that your buddies planned some fun guy thing. this will keep her guessing and put the ball back in your court. when she asks you how it was, tell her it was a blast and that I'm lucky that I went with them. if she asks you what you guys did which she will, tell her that you hung out at the lake with your friends and bunch of there girls and it was a blast. when a girl that likes you hears that you hung out with other girls she is going to get really jealous.

this will teach her a lesson to not pull those games with you anymore. I always do this when I start to date a girl that pulls these bs games. this will put her inline and I guarentee you she won't do it again. you need to be a bit of a d*** cause girls like that.

[ImSoSozzled]

Hmm well I think it sounds like she still likes you so if you think her excuses are legit, I would give her another chance. It's a good sign that she said she would let you know when she would be free next week instead of going ahead and scheduling another date because she really doesn't want to cancel on you again.

[Asker]

Thanks for your input. I hadn't really thought of it that way, but what you're saying makes sense. I know she has a crazy schedule, and based on the amount of times she apologized for canceling the second date, I can imagine that she definitely does not want to have to make and then cancel a third.

[ImSoSozzled]

No problem. Hope it works out for ya.

[vikingship09]

I would try to ask her out one more time, three times a charm. If she says yes and doesn't cancel on you again then you're good. If she cancels a third time then you could talk to her about it. She could just be really busy or she could be blowing you off. She is still texting and calling you so that is a good sign, if she wasn't interested she would just ignore you. Don't let her pursue you, if you really like her then pursue her. It shows her that you really like her and really care and don't want to lose her not knowing what could have happened. Girls want to be pursued, we want to know that you care.

[lolajohnston]

Pretty sure she's just being a girl (woman). It's what we do. I know I behave irrationaly sometimes and expect others to get me. So don't worry, from what u're saying it looks like she likes u. Maybe she is just busy. Unexpected things happen all the time. Things that don't really depend on us and that we can't control. No matter how you want to go on a date, sometimes you just can't.

So don't worry. And show her you understand. Tell her you want to see her. Tell her you support her. Offer your help. Soon enough she'll come around. Good luck!

[WhEnItRaInZ]

Women do very stupid things and (as the other answers say) she could just be testing you to see how into the relationship you are. Or maybe she actually is busy ha ha maybe you are just overthinking way too much which people often do. If she's already talking about the future and sex she relaly likes you, so don't worry to much take some deep breaths and you two will hangout soon and just see what the future holds.

[sigsauer45]

what you need to do here is back off and let her come to you that way you will know if she is steel interested in you and if she is she will keep text you and calling you people life,s get in the way some time and thing come up and dates have to be called off at the last min so if you if she dune it, it most because thing got to buss and she need to deal with them we all had this dune to use at some time so back off and see what happens

[manimal]

Oh man, I am going through exactly this situation right now. It's been a few days since she sent me the "I'm going through a very important taking care of sh*t phase right now" text and I've been stuck without a response for a couple days now. Best I can say from the advice of my friends is to feel the pain and ride it out or just move on. I don't think it gets any simpler than that. As guys sometimes we really want to *know* wtf happened, or what we did, if our intentions are good. I say ride it out and try again, without judgement, blame, or angst. Namaste, and good luck!

[islands7]

This is a popular gal that is into you and frustrated she cannot keep her preferred timetable of regular events shared with you. She realizes most normal guys would be insulted & hate her for plans changing but in your case, hopes you will forgive. You will. This is love, however weak or strong it may be.

[minx101]

I think she is still interested, things do happen and she may not be playing games. My suggestion is to try to make one more date with her and if she cancels tell her she has to ask you out next time. This is not a game but lets her know you still like her but that the ball is in her court now and there are no mixed messages.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she likes you.

Sometimes we women are told that if we appear busy and cancel a few dates it will make the guy like us more. Stupid, yes. I personally don't like playing games but then my friends yell at me saying you make yourself "too available".

[Asker]

Yeah, I understand the whole playing hard to get angle, but honestly I feel like it turns me off more than anything. It makes the girl appear wishy washy. At this point in my life I have little patience for games, and I'm looking for someone who is going to be straightforward and direct with me. She seemed like she was until the last few days, so I'm hoping this will change. So do you think I should wait a few days and see if she contacts me to let me know when she will be available?

[Frogodile]

I'm pretty sure she likes you alot, so stay confidant and remember things happen. Don't jump to any conclusions until She herself tells you she isn't feeling it anymore.

[kittybell2468]

I would back off a bit, let her pursue you for awhile, that will let you know if she is really interested or not.