Why does he always offers to help me?

[Anonymous]

We're friends and our families too ( we're both married). He always offers to help. Last time I was helping my husband with what he was doing , and something went wrong. He asked me why didn't I call him to help my husband. He said: "You know I'm into construction and
engineering and I could help him. You know your husband is not for that, and you do understand it, but can't do it."
He also offered to put led light stripe in my kitchen if I want. He said he is going to come to see what I need and to plan how it would be best to do it.
He always talk about himself as if he knows everything and always ask me if I want him to help me.

[Jamie05rhs]

I would be very wary of that. It all depends on the money, though. If he wants you to pay him, then it's fine; let him help. But if he wants to do it for free then you should not let him help. And don't let him come around when your husband isn't there.

[Asker]

He doesn't want money for his work, I would only have to pay for parts and even that he finds on sale or something.
He never comes around when my husband is not home

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay. Then I would be suspicious. I don't trust the guy. Even if he's just a nice person and he's bored... he needs to find something else to do with his time.

I mean, if it was just a bonding activity that he was doing together with your husband as friends then that would be different. But the part that concerns me is that he's using you as his point of contact instead of your husband.

[Asker]

He is very busy and doesn't have much free time. He was my friend first, then we all started to socialize, but still the primary and main communication is happening between me and him. Him and I know eachother for 5 years, we're good friends for last 3 years and with our families for maybe a year.

[Jamie05rhs]

Did you meet him before you got married or after?

[Asker]

After... I'm married for 17 years

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay. Hmm. Well, generally speaking, it's usually not acceptable for a man to be friends with a married woman without being friends with her husband as well (or at least trying to.). But maybe in this case he is trying. So it's kind of hard to tell. But still, he shouldn't be doing all of that work for free. If and has skills and special talents then he would naturally in most cases be using those skills to make a living for himself. Unless he already has plenty of money. Or unless you guys are poor or something. (Sorry; didn't mean to get too personal.)

[Asker]

We're not poor, nor he has plenty of money. He is working hard and much for his family and I value him for that. That is why I would never ask him for help. I would feel as if I'm using him.

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay. Then I think you should pay him.

[Asker]

Ok, and what if he doesn't want to take the money, and he never does

[Jamie05rhs]

Well, then that's his fault. But didn't you say he had a family? Because I think that's irresponsible if you have a family to take care of and yet you refuse money for the work that you do.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO.

[Bhavin2184]

He has " I know everything" type personality and your his friends so naturally he want to help you in stuff he think you cannot do alone.

[Zenofthesun]

Sounds a bit fishy