If he’s talking to other girls on the dating app too, does that mean he’s not actually interested in me?

[Anonymous]

Am I overthinking or should I move on? Do I have a chance with this guy from a dating app?

In February, I matched with a lovely guy on a dating app. Let’s call him John. He always sent me long messages and lots of questions and we found out a lot about each other. It was exciting. He never replies instantly, sometimes vanishing for a few days but always returned. Finally, he asked me if I would like to grab coffee sometime. But the coffee never happened because of coronavirus.

I sent him my number and we continued texting off the app, checking in now and again to see what we’ve been getting up to during the lockdown. However, during lockdown he started to become really slow at replying and at one point didn’t reply for over two weeks. However, he often tells me he’s excited when we get the chance to meet.

The app we met on, I can see when he’s last active, and although we talk off the app, I notice that he logs into the dating app every 2-3 days or so, but now he takes a week to reply to me. Does this mean he’s not interested in me anymore? He still sends me long messages like email style and lots of questions. But he takes a week to reply to me at the moment but is active back on the dating app more than he replies to me. Am I overthinking here?

He’s also not tried to make plans with me since the lockdown was announced to be easing :(

[Anonymous]

I'm kind of in the same situation as you, except instead of a dating app, I've been playing this online game with him. We had plans to meet up but it's postponed until travel restrictions are off. We've flirted with each other, but he plays other games too and I'll never know if he actually speaks to other girls in other games the same way. But as the previous poster said, as long as it's not an exclusive relationship yet, there's sadly not much you can do. But I guess at least recognise the effort he still puts in to text you long messages. I believe if he had zero interest, he wouldn't spend time on a long message. As for logging on the app every 2-3 days, it's a possibility he's interested in other options. So in short, yes, he's still interested in you. And yes, he might be interested in others too. I know it's harder to wrap our heads around this since we are the sort that only talks to one guy at a time.

[Asker]

But if he’s messaging someone more frequently than me on the app, does that mean that girl probably he is more interested in? Though he didn’t log into the app for 3 weeks at one point so that girl maybe didn’t get a reply for that long

[Opinion Owner]

Well I guess if he does, that girl probably have more common interest with him. Then again these are all assumptions and yea if he didn't login for some time, whatever conversation he had there would have stopped. Or the conversation was shifted elsewhere. For now don't worry too much. Just focus on the fact that he took effort to still send you long messages. Ask him what he thinks about going exclusive and see what he says first.

[Anonymous]

Until you are in an actual relationship and you've defined it as exclusive then it wouldn't be absurd for him to contact other women on the dating app. Maybe you should suggest going out now and see what he thinks about it.

[Yaharro]

Sad I think he trying more dishes haha kidding
See if this is the case then he is probably less intrested

[spartan55]

Why do you assume he is talking to other girls?

[Asker]

Because he’s active on the app every few days or so?

[spartan55]

That doesn't mean he's talking to anyone. Just checking his new matches, searches, etc.

[MichelleMendez42]

It’s sounds like your being a bitch