Guys, My male coworkers get quiet when I walk by. Is this a bad thing?

[Anonymous]

Both coworkers and I make a good team, separately and when we work together.
When we work together, I noticed they sometimes quiet down or stop talking when I walk by. Sometimes I feel like I made them mad, some how upset them. But neither has ever told me I have.
The one has an intrest in me, though I don't know if its a romantic intrest or friendship.

[Dongtai]

If I’m quiet around a coworker it’s because


A.) I can’t relate to them or they aren’t my type of crowd.


B.) I’ve attempted conversations with them but they don’t add to the conversation so it feels like I’m forcing conversation giving the impression they don’t won’t one. So I eventually stop trying.


C.) They’re too young or immature to be both a good coworker and a friend, so I’ve chosen my job over a workplace friendship to keep my workers productive (when I was a manager)


D.) They’re my boss and I’m not comfortable with attempting to have a nonprofessional relationship with them.




I’ll assume he’s not your manager and stop giving scenarios and stick with A and B. Before I started managing workplaces, I was pretty outgoing. Especially with female coworkers. Every once in a while there would be a coworker I don’t go out of my way to talk to and it’s usually because they’ve done something to flag themselves; gossiping about me, trash talk behind my back, etc. Rarely I’d meet someone who just didn’t vibe with me for the most part everyone liked me.


I did have a phase where I was shy around girls (that I was into) and the biggest way to know if I liked a girl was if she was the only person I didn’t “Initiate” a one on one conversation with. I’d pretty much act like I didn’t know she existed because I’m trying to give absolutely no hints that she’s the one I notice the most until I’m ready to face possible rejection. I was a teenage 😂.

[Asker]

I got you. He just exited a rebound relationship. He claims to be done with girls for a while and is working on himself. That's what a part of me feels like he has no romantic intrest in me.

Anyway. I'm just worried that I upset my coworkers.

[Dongtai]

Upset them how? If you like him you should totally take him out. Be like, hey, I’ve noticed you’ve been down lately and I wanted to treat you out. Maybe add a little positivity to your life. Find out what he likes before hand and come up with an idea based on that. For example if he’s really into video games, take him to an arcade bar or something.

You’d make that man’s day and you’d probably score some points with him

[ArchersArrow]

Maybe they normally say bad words and they don’t want you to hear them. They could be also talking about you. The thing is why would you care? Unless you’re interested in one of them then you can talk/flirt with him.

[Asker]

I have anxiety. I also am fairly okay friends with one. I am interested in him. But I don't think he's romantically intrested in me much.
Bad words? No. i doubt that. I have a sailor's mouth.

[ArchersArrow]

Why do you not think that he’s not romantically not interested in you?

[Asker]

I feel like his signals are mixed. He flirts and asks me personal questions like, "what kind of guys are you in to?"we tease each other and stuff a lot and he has told me that he wants to play video games together someday.

But he doesn't really talk to me outside of work. He's also has wing man's his friend to me.

[ArchersArrow]

Actually that means that he’s “romantically” interested in you. Sometimes guys are just not full of themselves and they hesitate. Also being around his friends isn’t making him able to think. Just try to push your relationship outisde of work. You can point to him that you’re free on the weekend and was thinking about going out.

[Asker]

He still asks about his ex, who is friends with my sister. Not often, but occasionally he will. A mutual coworker told me she thinks he's still in love with his ex. That's the biggest reason I don't think it's a romantic intrest.

[ArchersArrow]

Do you want him that bad?

[Asker]

I do like him. He's a good guy. But at this point I will not be... a replacement. If he gets over her, truly gets over her. I would like to daye him.

[ArchersArrow]

He hadn’t gotten over her because simply he didn’t find anyone else yet. If you step in his life , I’m sure he will get over her in no time.

[Truthatanycost]

What are the sexual harassment policies like there? in some cases, merely being overheard talking can be a risk...

[Asker]

I don't think either one would sexually harass me, or
I don't see it as that. It would take a lot for me to think that.
I'm honestly more worried about upsetting either of them.

[Truthatanycost]

It's not about them sexually harassing anyone. In some businesses a guy being overheard talking about something sexual can land him in trouble (if its overheard by a woman).

[Asker]

I mean, we've talked about sex and stuff. I don't know if they would be afraid of me over hearing. I mean, they could, but it's not like we haven't had that topic come up.

[Truthatanycost]

Then it's probably something else.

[spartan55]

How would you upset your coworkers. Don't take things so personally.

[Asker]

It's honestly probably my anxiety. I don't normally over think this