What could be the reasons literally no guys ever talk to me or even dm me? What am I doing wrong?

[Anonymous]

I have very long blonde hair down to my ass, blue eyes and I’m not skinny but I’m not fat either. I’ve been told I look like Perrie Edwards and Margot Robbie but probably a slightly more chubby version hahaha.

I have both a degree and a masters degree and I have a really amazing job doing what I love.

I own my own house and car.

I’ve lived on my own since I was 19 so I’m very independent.

I’ve been single now for 7 years!

I’m very quiet but I’m not shy. I open up a bit when I get to know someone.

I have a lot of great friends and an amazing family.

No guys ever talk to me apart from my asshole ex who I haven’t seen in 5 years.

People have frequently asked me why I’m still single and I’m starting to get embarrassed about it - because I’m 28 now and most of my friends are married and have kids - except me.

I just wonder what could be the reason why literally no guys ever talk to me or even dm me? What am I doing wrong?

[winterfox10]

The income stuff is cool, but guys don't really care too much about how much women make. It's just not really the reason we find women attractive. I would say that you might want to work more on smiling at guys. Don't do post sexy pics though, that can come across needy.

[Asker]

Ok thanks! So what do you find attractive about women?

Yeah I don’t post those kind of pics anyway... maybe I need to start at this rate haha! Thank you.

[winterfox10]

Nah... you won't attract good men that way. You have to get proactive at social clubs and such. Good men aren't likely to approach you online, just because they like how you look.

A lot of what makes a woman attractive (beyond the physical stuff) is having hobbies, being funny, being social.

[Asker]

Great thank you!

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

Question... Do you put yourself out there or do you just wait for them to come?

[Asker]

I don’t put myself out there no..

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

There you have it! Don't just sit around like Sleeping Beauty for the prince charming. Go seek for him.

[Asker]

Any tips then? Thanks 😂

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

I think a dating app would be a good start. Asking your friends if they know someone to introduce to you is also an interesting idea.

[bamesjond0069]

Well nothing on here jumps out as a girl id want to date.

This stuff here: "I have both a degree and a masters degree and I have a really amazing job doing what I love. I own my own house and car.
I’ve lived on my own since I was 19 so I’m very independent."

Means youve probably invested a lot of time into stuff i consider useless. And so probably less time into stuff i value.

Obviously if im in a relationship i want to depend on the other person and if you can't de independent yourself i wouldn't be with you under any circumstances. Usually women who even mention the word independent are a lost cause in my experience.

you're also 28. Categorically i can get way younger women so just straight truth i wouldn't even talk to you just because of that. Age is a very important factor to men either directly or in a more indirect way.

To me the ideal woman is both physically capable of having multiple children and not in a rush. She also lives her life in a way that makes me think she would make an excellent mother. Ie a 20 year old baby sitter who says fuck college i love kids and babysitting is my dream job is far more attractive than someone with a masters degree and a career.

The house and car is irrelevant. I already have a house and can easily afford 2 or 3 cars myself. But those are selling points to broke men.

Just some insights to the mind of a man.

[Asker]

That’s all your personal preferences though... not very helpful. I’m not concerned about my age at all so I don’t think that’s an issue.

I’m also very capable of having kids and not in a rush anyway thanks.

So you value young woman who have nothing going for them?

Also you are 33 and manage to get yourself some 20 year olds? 👏

[bamesjond0069]

Yes but i think many men share some or all of my preferences. Id say mines more typical of a man in my position. Like i mentioned broke men will really like your success, where successful men generally won't care much about it.

You are capable of having kids and not in a rush. Ofc thats fine. Thats your opinion of your current position. Thats not how men see it.

I value a woman with strong morals, healthy habits and good mother sensibilities. None of which require a specific degree or job, so yeah whether she has something or nothing going on in career and education areas is irrelevant. This always seems the hardest for women to grasp. Women have very special abilities to make a house a home, make people a family, make life worth living. Thats what i expect from a woman. Not money. Not intellectual conversation about masters level topics. They dont hurt but they cannot in any amount make up for a lack in other areas.

And yes. The most recent two girls i dated were 20 and 22. So i just dont really see a point in dating older if i can still get younger girls just fine. Keep in mind im quite successful and im very into sports and have a highly athletic body. So i have above average options compared to most men.

[Asker]

Ok, great thanks.

My education isn’t in an intellectual subject maybe just sounds fancier than it is. I work as a designer so I’m not exactly extremely clever or into anything intellectual like science and shit. I never thought that education would be something a guy would be put of by... oh well thanks.

[bamesjond0069]

Its not that you have it. Its that its not something men would find a benefit for a relationship. You have to understand, dating is a lot how you stack up to other girls. All the time you devoted to the degree, some non degree girl spent learning how to be a 5 star chef and spending hours in the gym. Which i have to say those things are highly desired by men where a degree is not.

Its not off putting more than its not a benefit. What reasons should a man want to date you? You may have many reasons but nothing you wrote about was a reason to date you.

[bamesjond0069]

For example i mentioned "I value a woman with strong morals, healthy habits and good mother sensibilities." And also " abilities to make a house a home, make people a family, make life worth living."

Maybe think about how you are a benefit in these areas. A degree and your own house dont do these things.

[Asker]

Interesting.
I definitely do have some of those qualities I maybe just need to focus on showing more of that side of myself and my personality/values etc rather than my achievements in life so thanks for that.

Most men in my past have only been interested in me for my looks or just sex and have never cared about anything else about me anyway so as I’ve gotten older I’ve always tried to be more than just that to try and attract more genuine men into my life but maybe that’s back fired haha.
Thanks.

[bamesjond0069]

Yeah i think you get it now. And fyi all men are always interested in sex. Its about weeding through them. Typically the only tried and true way is to make them wait. Those into just sex will run off and those into more will be glad to wait a little. No big deal if a relationship is the priority.

[iseekpinetrees]

Well you said it your highly independent. Guys might sense that no need for a man part of you. Or you might unknowingly come off that way. Do you put yourself out there and talk to guys? Most guys I have met didn't care I was educated its more if you find someone as intelligent as you are and click well. You definitely have to put yourself out there to find the right people though.

[Asker]

Yeah I do struggle puting myself out there. Thanks.

[Knighted2170]

It could be a lot of little things added together. Just little signals that say "stay away" or "taken."

Based on what you have said I can only make broad stroke assumptions. I would actually need to talk to you in order to find out and point you in the right direction.

That's the best I can do at the moment.

[Asker]

Thank you.

[Knighted2170]

If your able to, you can DM me and I'll see what I can do. Or you can follow and I'll DM you if you want.

Your choice. Up to you if you want an honest opinion.

[JoeSchmoeCool]

You seem to have a lot going for you. Based on your other comments, maybe it's bc you're not putting yourself out there. I'd be weary to if I had two cheating ex's. in my opinion relationships shouldn't be forced and if romance just isn't in the cards, then that is life.

What else do you think it's a major obstacle?

[Asker]

I have no idea what else is an obstacle - maybe it’s just me.. Thank you.

[smash4isBetter]

I've said this in an other post but you should probably seek men (good man that is) yourself. If you like someone you should ask them out simple as that, me personally i think one reason men are kinda not approaching you is because you are or were seeking higher education rather than being a potential mate. I think women in general should just finish high school and find a serious mate then get married and have kids. not to sound like im anti women but I perfer very traditional women say like 1940 or 50s era.

[TacosRAwesome]

If they are things you're interested in join either a rescue corps (was in one with my ex and the rate of men to women was 10 to 1 and most women were there with partners), so the chances of meeting someone that you like and likes you back are decent. You just need to be somewhat competent in the activities and talk to people.

[Anonymous]

So is Facebook and Instagram how you meet guys? Maybe you're looking in the wrong places and I think you find quality men in real life

[Asker]

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Because you obviously do not understand what men like in a woman. Having a masters degree is not a good thing for attracting guys. You were probably one of those snotty girls that rejected some good guys back in the day and now none of them want you. Well, ducunt volentem fata, nolentem trahunt!

[In_Trance]

You've mentioned all the good things candidly; what are the drawbacks? Everyone has them...

[Asker]

I’m very quiet and not very confident in myself.
I’m maybe a bit boring.
I could lose a few pounds.
I don’t put myself out there.
Both of my exes cheated on me so I guess I’m a bit wary of guys...
So I’m maybe too picky now.
I’m just a mess to be honest haha 😄

[Hangry22]

I think you seem way out of their league. Sounds like you're beauty with brains plus independent.

[Anonymous]

Because none of us have our shit together so we assume you aren't interested ;)

[flashgrandad]

Personally I would DM you but as your anon I cannot

[Makeushiver]

How can someone dm you if you post anonymously?

[Asker]

I meant on Instagram/Facebook etc not on here.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

This is up to your rigor fate. Just make sure you don’t do anything to make it turn against you.

[Anonymous]

because.. men are blind

[cloud9vortex1234]

The problem is you don't put yourself out there.

[KralArthur]

Maybe you just don't deserve

[Asker]

Ouch 😂

[Jmmmfi4]

You def sound like my type

[Solstice777]

Just DM me then.