I've had this one guy friend for years. We met one another when we were 10, and we're both in our early 20s now. This same scenario has happened multiple times (once when we were 16, once when we were 19, and now again), and I've sort of come to expect it, but it's always so disappointing when it happens and I feel like an idiot.
I just moved back into town after college, and we hadn't seen one another in a while. We both just got out of serious relationships, which hasn't been the case in the past. When we were chatting over text, he was pretty flirty (he's usually a pretty flirty guy so this doesn't always mean something). By the time we finally hung out (for the first time in years!), it was such a great time, with conversation flowing and lots of laughing.
At the end of the night, he kissed me, and I went along with it for a minute before getting kind of scared and realizing this is what he ALWAYS does—hangs out with me, makes a move, and then acts uninterested soon after. This night, too, he also told me how much he's always cared for me and liked me. I would assume this is true, given that we've had this on/off flirtation for so long.
The next day, I text him and tell him the truth—I was so flattered but startled, and that I'm pretty emotionally unavailable right now. I also mentioned wanting to be upfront about that because I don't want him to think I'm messing with his feelings. He responded incredibly nicely and agreed we could hang out as just friends.
Fast forward to now, almost 2 weeks later, and he keeps saying that he wants to hang out (before I even bring it up!), but then when I try to make a plan to, he avoids it. He keeps saying, "soon." It makes me feel like a complete idiot. I'm frustrated that I always seem to find old feelings for him after he initiates something, and then it seems like he's playing a game as soon as I try to make some sort of move.
I know I probably shouldn't care at this point, but I do. Why is he doing this?
I just moved back into town after college, and we hadn't seen one another in a while. We both just got out of serious relationships, which hasn't been the case in the past. When we were chatting over text, he was pretty flirty (he's usually a pretty flirty guy so this doesn't always mean something). By the time we finally hung out (for the first time in years!), it was such a great time, with conversation flowing and lots of laughing.
At the end of the night, he kissed me, and I went along with it for a minute before getting kind of scared and realizing this is what he ALWAYS does—hangs out with me, makes a move, and then acts uninterested soon after. This night, too, he also told me how much he's always cared for me and liked me. I would assume this is true, given that we've had this on/off flirtation for so long.
The next day, I text him and tell him the truth—I was so flattered but startled, and that I'm pretty emotionally unavailable right now. I also mentioned wanting to be upfront about that because I don't want him to think I'm messing with his feelings. He responded incredibly nicely and agreed we could hang out as just friends.
Fast forward to now, almost 2 weeks later, and he keeps saying that he wants to hang out (before I even bring it up!), but then when I try to make a plan to, he avoids it. He keeps saying, "soon." It makes me feel like a complete idiot. I'm frustrated that I always seem to find old feelings for him after he initiates something, and then it seems like he's playing a game as soon as I try to make some sort of move.
I know I probably shouldn't care at this point, but I do. Why is he doing this?
