"Girls never go for the Nice guy" ?

[Könökeö]

Do "nice guys" actually realize at any point that they're not as nice as they think they are and are usually actually creepy/ violent?

If you call yourself a "nice guy", you might honestly want to think about your actions and if you actually are

Situations such as; Guy compliments girl - girl isn't interested - Guy "Wow girls never go for the nice guys, what a whore probably having sex with different guys"

- You see how the guy here isn't actually "nice" - please make sure, you're not this type of guy.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the guy. A lot of the time this is bullshit. I'll explain.

Some of those guys really are fake nice. Guys who don't get laid a lot and who think that being extra nice to a girl is the way to get laid, I've often seen them go to barrel-scraping lows to get laid. When they don't really have morals they'll do anything, including throwing their best friend under a bus, lying etc. just for the chance of a bit of pussy. These are the guys you should be weary of.

However at the same time there are a lot of guys who are genuinely nice guys who are just frustrated that they get nowhere with women. If a woman were to say the same thing as you just quoted would you say that they're not actually nice? If anybody anywhere gets frustrated about not having much luck in relationships does that make them terrible people?

No, not at all. That's ridiculous.

It's funny to me to see a whole bunch of women talk about how men should cry more and express their emotions, then when men say that they don't because women can't empathise with them they think that guys are crazy. But this is an example of the way women just can't empathise with men at all. Which is why that whole thing is bullshit.

Myself for example. I'm no longer like this but when I grew up I was a shy kid, naive in a lot of ways. Innocent. A late bloomer. I didn't start dating until I was about 17, and I'd say I was a typical "nice guy". At that time I really just wanted a nice girlfriend, and I'd say that I was quite idealistic about relationships. I'd go on dates and I wouldn't try to have sex with the girl. I wouldn't kiss her ass or anything, but I'd treat her well.

A lot of these girls would seem to like me a lot, we'd have a good time hanging out. Some of them I ended up in short relationships with, most I didn't. Usually they'd tell me that they just wanted to take it slow, and they'd tell me about guys who lied, cheated and used them for sex and whatnot. I genuinely wasn't one of those guys, never have been, so I respected it. I was in no rush.

What would happen is that with the girls I was in a short relationship with, they'd dump me and literally tell me "you're too nice". I wouldn't say it about myself, they'd say it about me. The others would tell me that they just wanted to be friends for the same reason.

Then I'd see them date some guy who seemed to me like a bit of a prick. He'd do something to upset her, and she'd come and complain about him to me. She'd say that she just wanted a nice guy. Sometimes she'd say that she wished she could find a guy like me and I'd be like "ahem... I'm a guy like me". And they'd be like "noo silly I don't see you that way". Then they'd go date a guy like him again, come crying, date a guy like him etc. Repeatedly. Different girls, over and over.

They'd tell me they wanted a guy like me, they'd go for guys not like me, and I was confused. How can women not understand how that might be confusing, frustrating, or how a guy could come to those conclusions?

[Könökeö]

Wait... are you saying we can't empathise with men because we don't let insult us if we turn them down? Did you even read what I put in the quotation marks?

The girl would still be completely out of line and a bad person if she acted the same way towards a guy.

You do understand people cannot help who they fall for? Are you saying you want someone to stay with you regardless of how they're feeling just because you're nice?

[Könökeö]

*let them

[Opinion Owner]

No, that's not what I mean at all. I really can't understand how you got that idea from what I just said, at all.

Having re-read your question though, I did miss the part where he said that she's probably a whore. Sorry, my bad.

[Könökeö]

My entire post is aimed at guys who specifically treat women bad, or become violent when they're rejected, playing as the "nice guy" when they're not - in my opinion your comment was wanting us to empathize with that behaviour?

[Opinion Owner]

No, I mis-read the part of the quote where he threw an insult, that's fucked up and fuck those guys. So I was only responding to the "girls don't go for nice guys" thing and explaining how even genuinely nice guys come to that conclusion.

[Könökeö]

I'm sure actual nice guys get rejected - it still isn't a women's job to baby sit their wants and needs or even be in a relationship with them just because someone is nice.

If you can't handle rejection, no matter how nice you are, I would probably advise not trying to date until you're emotionally ready and completely understand that being nice doesn't= someone will love you.

[Opinion Owner]

Again, that's not what I'm saying at all. Nobody is entitled to anything just because they were nice to someone, that's understandable. I knew that even back then.

The confusion and frustration for young guys in particular comes from women saying they want nice guys and then dating guys who are pricks. You've got to have seen that happen yourself surely.

[Könökeö]

You're showing your ignorance and your lack of understanding on how man behave/ act.

Do you think at the start of these relationships they're mean? Or do you think they're nice? Make them feel loved/wanted? And then suddenly turn?

Girls do not purposefully go for guys who are mean to them, it usually happens gradually.

Why is your issue with women who end up dating "pricks" and why is it not with the pricks themselves?

[Celtero]

Eh, that's how you wemons might rationalize it. Guess it's just hard to admit that you're attracted to the douche-y abusive types.

When guys collectively claim that being nice is a failing strategy for attracting women it can't be that these guys are right... they have to all be "fake" nice guys!

And this is the manipulation that women do... They choose all the dominant jerks while baiting all the ugly beta males to treat them with kindness they don't really deserve. That's why they can't admit that niceness is irrelevent to women.

[btbc92]

Nice is nice. But Kindness is better than nice. Nice is expected of you. Kindness is what your born with and eventually learn if you didn't have it. Those types of guys just want to get any woman they find physically attractive but don't respect the girl. This is why I avoid them, especially the toxic ones. They go crazy because you said no, or even no thank you. Even, in fact, they don't even say they're nice! Actions speak louder than words.

[BlckGrl]

I dated a "nice guy" he was worse than a "good guy" also nice guys think just because they are nice you're supposed to fuck them

[JosephPit]

This probably just leads up to the nice guy's ego getting a hit. He probably assumed that with his compliment he would make a positive impression and then be able go further from there, but when the compliment doesn't really spike interest, he might be "hurt".

And the way he reacts is actually just because of being rejected and hurt. I don't think this falls under the category of a nice guy. Also this probably has something to do with the confidence level of the guy. If a confident guy encounters a girl, compliments her and gets rejected, he just takes the rejection head on and moves on to the next, even if he is still a nice guy.

[Könökeö]

Aw, honestly, if a man thinks it's acceptable to be violent/ insulting towards a woman just because he's sad from being rejected - boohoo, let me get my little violin out for him - no, he needs to learn that he needs to behave better, if you can't handle rejection, don't put yourself in situations where you're trying to l date

[JosephPit]

I never said it's acceptable to be violent or insult women, I totally agree that this is out of line. Every man should treat every women well, and especially not insult them.

I do think a guy can think like "Wow girls never go for the nice guys, what a whore probably having sex with different guys" but should never tell this to her face.

So I do agree with you it's just no good behavior. And the dude is not acting like a real man.

[Könökeö]

Guess what? If a guy resorts to thinking a woman is a whore, he is not a good person and definitely didn't deserve her, she missed a bullet - He definitely is not a nice person but thanks for outing yourself 😂

[chihuahua011]

I consider myself a nice enough fellow, though I never approach girls in the hopes of dating without making small talks and finding out if they are taken. Then if they reject me anyway then I move on, I'm not that petty and bitter to fume on the fact that I got rejected. 🤷‍♂️

[Nalix]

Most guys who are "nice" are actually either creepy and abusive, or boring. Both are things that women dislike. So don't try to be a nice guy, try to be an interesting guy. Not all women will find your brand of interesting attractive, but it will attract more than just being a bland nice, or giving off a stalker vibe.

[OlderAndWiser]

Do you realize that the label nice guy gets misappropriated by some wolf-in-sheep's-clothing jerks but there are some "nice guys" who are actually nice?

[Könökeö]

Because the majority of guys that use it, aren't nice - hence why "nice guy" is an actual thing people joke about.

[OlderAndWiser]

Real nice guys don't often call themselves a "nice guy" at all.

[Könökeö]

Then what is your issue? Lmao my post is clearly aimed at the "nice guys" who DO use it to describe themselves, which the majority of them do, when they're actually horrible.

As you've just stated, guys who are actually nice, don't usually refer to themselves as "nice guys" so clearly my post isn't about guys who are actually nice, so?

[OlderAndWiser]

Do "nice guys" actually realize at any point that they're not as nice as they think they are and are usually actually creepy/ violent?

No, people like this have no concept of how they appear to others or they would have already modified their behavior.

If you call yourself a "nice guy", you might honestly want to think about your actions and if you actually are

Do you seriously think that telling shallow people to think about their behavior is goig to have any effect on anyone?

Situations such as; Guy compliments girl - girl isn't interested - Guy "Wow girls never go for the nice guys, what a whore probably having sex with different guys"

- You see how the guy here isn't actually "nice" - please make sure, you're not this type of guy.

If a guy is a "so-called' nice guy, you think he's going to read this and say, "Holy shit, she 's right! I've been screwing up and I need to change myself!" Not in a jillion years. And, of course, if the guy reading is truly a nice guy, he doesn't need any direction from you, either, so. . . for all that you have accomplished here, you might as well go to the beach, squat in the water and piss to try to raise the tide.

[Könökeö]

Thank you for providing my point 😉

[Könökeö]

*proving - autocorrect lol

[OlderAndWiser]

I'm glad you took the time to correct so many misguided miscreants!

[Könökeö]

Sounds like we've found a "wolf-in-sheeps-clothing" as you called it 🤭

[OlderAndWiser]

Perception is a subjective experience and is influenced by the perceiver as much as by the perceived.

[Whatever919]

Ok i will make sure... Jk.
Well nice guys usually shy and don't have experience with girls so when they get rejected they feel insecure about their ability to attract women instead of leaning or trying harder they blame her.

I used to be shy guy but i never got mad after a rejection.

[hellacray]

So are you saying all guys that are nice are actually assholes?

As far as I know women just don't like men. We got that dick privilege.

[Könökeö]

Y'all always want to take it personally Instead of actually admitting that the other men around you are pieces of shit 😴

[Hogwheels]

I've noticed the same pattern. Guys I know who call themselves nice guys are often creeps.

[Hogwheels]

Although, I would like to believe I'm a nice guy, I don't go around advertising it. Its the advertisers that are weird.

[Anonymous]

Wait, you mean I'm not entitled to sex because I opened a door for you? You women always setting the bar too high...

[DavidFox]

Yes, as a teenager I played the nice guy. Took me a few years to grow out of it

[Könökeö]

Why do you think you acted that way? And how do you feel like you've grown out of it?

[DavidFox]

I got feedback from girls and friends that I was a liar and that I needed to act in a more authentic way. I have grown out of it because I no longer lie anymore and take responsibility for my actions.

[DavidFox]

Why did I act that way as a teenager? Fear. Also lacked confidence

[DavidFox]

by the way at times I miss telling white lies. Many people can’t handle blunt honesty.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Would you consider it "creepy/violent" if the guy was a male model?

It's not that they're not nice.. they're just not hot to you.

[Floppy2112]

You know who the actual nice guys are? The ones you don't notice. The ones you decided are not good enough for you.

[magiusX26]

so your saying actual nice guys are a myth. alrighty then.

[Könökeö]

Ah yes. That is 100% what I am saying, congratulations, here is your prize.

No, like the majority of men you need to open your eyes - there is a difference from guys who are genuinely nice and "nice guys" - educate yourself.

[Waldoe]

Point made, that could be the case, "sometimes"... or the guys says, "I like your hair, did you get a new style" and the girl says "get away from me creep!"

[Anonymous]

What?

In this situation he is hitting on girl who is not interested or even married. What is being nice have to do with it?

[Anonymous]

Girls don't want nice guys. They want assholes, bad boys and BBCs. those will shut them up

[Marshymallow]

Hahahahahaha i-

[Könökeö]

I had too 🙃

[Anonymous]

That's a impostor a wolf in sheep clothing.