Why don't girls fall for nice guys?

Question

I know they don't but it just boggles my mind how evil women can be sometimes, a guy will give them everything and then a trained asshole like me will come along and make her forget what his name is, it's crazy

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think for younger girls, they like the drama. You see girls bond with each other by sharing all the details about their personal lives, so nothing beats a girlie convo about each others boyfriend problems. So if a guy is too understanding then things get stagnant, then the relationship gets too predictable. On the other hand high-esteem 'bad guys' - who are often less sensitive and more inclined to break the girls spell over her man - make the girl have to work for things., while 'nice guys' pander too much to the girls needs, and seek approval (partly due to their own)

For more mentally mature girls, who are perhaps thinking on a more long-tem basis, they are torn between the two. (the sexy danger of the rebel vs. the caring, nurturing husband material) The problem with both 'bad guys' and 'nice guys' is that they are both immature and don't match up entirely...one is purely driven by impulse and reactionary behavoir, whilst the other by the compulsion to meet everyone's needs. They are both stubborn in their own ways and unwilling to be flexible. I guess the ideal man is a happy medium, though leans more to the 'nice guy' side and respects his partner as a women not just a piece of meat, but unlike the 'nice guy' has a devoloped esteem like the 'bad boy' and a self-assured mind and won't be so submissive (i.e. willing to risk disappointment by sticking with what he truly feels)

Ultimately a lot of the 'nice guy' behavior is dishonest as the man constantly tries to maintain an unrealistic, idealized vision of a gentlemen. Girls want a man who is as honest as possible - the 'bad guy' is often hides his softer side, whilst with the 'nice guy' it is all he shows. Now can you see why the 'bad guy' - although not the MOST desirable - is still more desirable than the 'nice guy'? They want to mine for his heart of gold (if he has any left)

Yep, they are complex and contradictory beings girls, but analysing things makes it a bit more understandable. -albiet slightly frustrating (nice girls never finish last that's for sure!)

TigerRoseBear · Accepted Answer

They do. It's just that a lot of guys who are fed up with not getting girls call themselves nice and call attractive guys who get girls douchebags. There are a few hot douchebags who get girls, but just because a guy's hot doesn't mean he's a douchebag.

Another reason is that a lot of "nice guys" are too shy, and a lot of them don't ask girls out. What they need to realize is that girls often fall for guys with good personalities (which a lot of these nice guys have), and so if they just asked a girl out and got to know her she could very well end up falling for him.

What you said about giving girls everything: Well, that's a bit far. If you give a girl everything, that's making her your entire life and that's not a very good thing to do unless you're married. It's clingy, and it makes the girl take you for granted. Not that I consciously make an effort not to do this. It's just common sense to me that it's not good to give a girl so much unless you're married.

miki94 · Accepted Answer

I don't fall for jerks. So stop generalizing. I'm sick of explaining how not all girls are the same. How some can see strength, power and confidence within a nice guy who knows who he is and stays that way. How most nice guys just brand themselves as such, so they can wine about not having a girlfriend, when in reality they aren't really "the brilliant personality" they present themselves to be. How being an asshole and being attractive are NOT the same thing. How the only guy, that disgusts me more then a jerk, is a two-faced "nice guy" who became a jerk because he figured he can get girls that way. How that same guy comas back wining about those girls he attracted, again generalizing and insulting all other females.

No, I won't reply now, explaining all these things. I'll just facepalm and move onto something that it is not a disguised rant, wondering how the OP didn't notice he's "question" is asked at least 5 times on a daily basis.

I don't care if you give me "thumbs down", someone needs to say this. >.>

madmisskelly · Accepted Answer

It depends on who that nice guy is.

Sometimes I'm just not into the guy and I only see him as a friend.

Sometimes he is more invested in it than I am, so his actions are more clingy than anything. I'm not talking about just compliments, and taking me out nice places. But if he is going above and beyond for everything, that's not necessarily what would make me fall for him. All of the other things have to be there in order for me to fall for him. I have to be just as invested, see a possible future with him, and I have to be in the right mindset.

If I'm in the right mindset, I'm attracted to him, I would definitely fall for him.

alysaa16 · Accepted Answer

idk for the reasons you can look up and also for me personally I did like the nice guy he wasn't extremely handsome but I fell for him  because he's nice its the one thing I liked about him and y I liked him but I heard him saying some stuff and it was so mean like meaner than most people and the reason I liked him was gone I realize nice guys can't be nice all the time but that was the only reason I liked him he wasn't funny or cute so I stopped liking him

Minxxe · Answer

i've only been out with  nice men, they earn their respect and don't expect it all to be put on a plate for them like the arseholes do.  It's only stupid young girls that like the arseholes anyway, us older ones know better, maybe you're aiming too low  ; )

OneLoveJL · Answer

Girls do fall for nice guys.. It's just that most of us our blinded by what we see.. Right now I'm dating my boyfriend of two years who honestly is the nicest guy on the planet, but b4 thT I date a total asshole for almost 3 years! He was a complete selfish bitch who didn't give a sh*t about me... But he was hotter the hell and that's why I state with him. You see it's not just about how nice you are it's somewhat about what the girl is into and yes looks aren't everything but don't act like they don't matter. Girls like nice guys... But you have to make her notice you.

Amorina · Answer

I always fall for the "nice" guy.  My first boyfriend was a bad boy and I am SO over it.  Unfortunately for me, the nice guys don't seem interested in me or can't get the hint that I am interested.  Relationship-wise, I want a nice guy.  When nothing happens with him, I might go for a hook-up.  I know that the bad boys will always be up for a no-strings-attached hook-up.

roxygirlskier · Answer

I'm not sure if I believe in them anymore... I dated two really nice guys. towards the end of the relationship they turned into jerks and treated me like trash. they really were nice guys for a while though. the shy quite ones that hardly seem to ever talk to girls...

Anonymous · Answer

I think nice guys are too nice in the sense that they give too much to their partner. They kind of agree to everything, which in some way means they are not assertive enough. Usually girls like a man who has the guts to lead-and that is exactly where nice guys fall short.

ps : This theory is purely based on observation.

Anonymous · Answer

This guy that I like a bit would be considered nice. But I find nice guys, well the one that I like is boring! By boring I mean he is kind of depressing to be around (but it's probably the circumstances he is in) and he is not upbeat or anything! I think we fall for "bad boys" because they're fun and exciting!

Anonymous · Answer

I do, I have fallen for a guy who wasn't head of heals attractive, he wasn't really attractive at all. The reason why I liked him is because he made me laugh and he had a great personality; he was nice. I love a nice guy but when he makes me laugh, I always want to be around him. It's a super strong turn on of mine.

Assholes get old and eventually a women realizes it, but sometimes she can't escape the a**hole.

bel42 · Answer

girls fall for guys they find attractive. A guy may be nice but not attractive according to a particular girl. You can't really expect her to like you if she doesn't find you attractive.

SnackG · Answer

The most common things I hear of are:

1. Doormat

2. Not protective

3. Want a guy to be kinda mean sometimes

4. Boring

Most of the time I'd say those are all bullsh*t except 4 is possible. Sometimes number 1.

Yeahhbro · Answer

because nice guys don't approach and they are just like their friends, so girl never really know when they fall for them. While jerks per se, hitted on them since the very moment they met them

jujubeetzzz · Answer

cuz nice guys aren't aggressive and interesting enough to keep womens interest long

Anonymous · Answer

Because, instead of trying to get to know a girl ... he tries to buy her attention by "giving her everything."  Don't trust the girls who will take it.

Anonymous · Answer

BECAUSE GUYS ALWAYS GO FOR THE HOT YET TOTAL WITCH GIRLS! TRY GIVING THE NICE YET NOT GREAT IN LOOKS GIRLS A CHANCE! GEEZ THIS ANNOYS ME SO BAD!

Anonymous · Answer

Nice guys are usually doormats and lack spine. that's not really attractive

Anonymous · Answer

pshhttt...umm...u kinda sound like a trained a**hole.

Anonymous · Answer

enough of this question already, will this question ever end? not from you only but from all guys, geeze

MalibuBeach · Answer

i know a lot guys who are really nice and many girls fall for them

rosemary09 · Answer

I only fall for nice guys. So, there.

Shaun · Answer

They think nice guys can't f***.

Jillian222 · Answer

I did.  Michael Jackson ty. -.-

Anonymous · Answer

why don't nice guys approach?

Why don't girls fall for nice guys?

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