E. g. - tied up top and leggings that shows my stomach & - top that shows my cleavage
He would say to me: "Why are you wearing this?" "Who you trying to impress in the mall or street?" "We are just grocery shopping, so why you dressed up like this? We are not clubbing/partying" "Please respect yourself" "I like you better with normal clothes"
Im a guy & I would get annoyed too
Im a guy & I wouldn't get annoyed
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Why does my boyfriend get annoyed when I wear sexy clothing?
You are revealing your body in a more intimate way... letting other men get to see a lot more of your intimate sexy areas... giving them some sexual pleasure. You are showing your breasts more... your butt more... revealing high up on your thigh... etc.
People have different boundaries. For example... some would be ok with their girlfriend posing nude for an art class. Men get to stare at her completely naked from head to toe for an hour. To them... as long as she isn't haven't sex with anyone... they don't care if men get to see all of her and can get off in their heads having all the knowledge of her body. Some that would be a boundary issue. Your nakedness if intimate to him and special and he wants to be the one you share that part of yourself with so her taking it off for classes of half men to stare at hurts him.
Some guys could date a stripper. As long as she doesn't have sex... spreading it all for 1000s of men and giving lap dances is no big deal... she didn't have sex. Other guys would never date a stripper in a million years. That crosses all of his boundaries of intimacy.
It sounds like his boundaries are more in line with the type that feels hurt if you reveal your body in a bare, sexy way where other men get to enjoy it.
Relationships are about being compatible. It isn't a right vs. wrong thing but getting 2 people together that have compatible views. You either need to dress more modest to not hurt him... or you need to date someone else or he does. If you want to dress sexy and he is hurt and is always arguing with you then you two probably just aren't compatible.
To put it simply, he knows how some of the other guys will look and think of you. It's not necessarily true about you but its irritating and kinda borderline insulting to think that other guys treat you as eye candy. So simply put, you look good? You can find other ways other than being the midnight rub material or eye candy for other dudes. I sure as hell won't appreciate my woman being treated as mind fuck material.
You as a girl or woman might not know this. But trust me, there is a lot of men in your life included too that rub out thinking of you. You wearing anything thats impressive when its not called for will just give em more to think about. You not giving a damn about being someone else's mind fuck and still providing material is disturbing and disrespecting to a point. Lets put another light on it. What if your boyfriend or husband gave out free massages knowing that the women are taking it and enjoying it in a sexual way. Would you like that? He could say that its his job and its the women's choice to get aroused or not. But it still wouldn't calm you now would it? Doesn't it sound disturbing to get along with that? Its like that for men. We don't wanna stop you from looking gorgeous. Hell no. We wanna SEE you appreciate yourself more! We would love that for you loving women in our lives.
But it feels disturbing that other men can look at you like sex toys and openly make such faces even if we where there. And if we were to talk about it, those guys would just say that they were appreciating the clothes you wore. This is like saying, we gonna rub a few out thinking of your women what you gonna do about that. Guess what, we can't, but you can. Just look gorgeous without showing skin? Maybe? Is that an option thats understandable?
It's the insecurity, not the will to control someone i feel. If u r fine with ur boyfriend habing shirt their unbuttoned on top and u got prblm with that with girls around.. then u too r not different. honestly as a boyfriend i would feel insecure coz there r perverts who r good enough at making someone uncomfortable with their looks, coz we know how degraded their minds r. But at the same time i don't wanna control and make her uncomfortable but myself coz at the end is ME, whom she's being with.. And not those perverts. And it would make a difference to me of where she is wearing what kind of clothes... Like on a beach? I would recommend her to wear to wear a bikini But if we're going somewhere like shopping or just somewhere to hang out.. with each other then I'd ask her if she thinks there's any need for it , ofc not controlling her but still trying to maje my point... coz she's hanging around with me and idc what she wears... but it shouldn't be such that whilr she look properly dressed up , i look like a like i just woke up... even I'll need to dress good.. to match it and make us look better But ik she's doing it for me, so focusing on her would be more than focusing on pervs
I personally would not get annoyed since it is your choice as to what clothes you want to wear. I would most likely say your boyfriend probably gets annoyed because he most likely thinks your clothing draws attention from other people more than if you wore regular clothes and he most likely would feel jealous from other people's attention towards you or feel like he is under threat if other people try to make moves on you instantly. In my opinion I think if someone truly wants to make a move on someone else then they would do so regardless of the clothes someone is wearing and the same thing if people pay attention to you some people will constantly pay attention to you even when you wear regular clothes.
The amount of dumb answers and simplemindedness in the comments is astounding. This issue does not always have to do with "insecurity", but rather with STANDARDS. When you're dressed up in a way that advertises to the world that you're still on the market, of course it will annoy your partner. Men like it when their girl dresses sexy for THEM, not for others. You've only proven to want to get validation outside of your relationship. Which in the eyes of high value men is a huge red flag. The only bad thing your boyfriend is doing is not putting his foot down properly.
If you're going to dress and act single, then BE single. If you're unwilling to adapt to the boundaries of a relatoinship, then do yourself and everyone else a favor and don't get into relationships. Especially not with men who genuinely are trying to build something with you. Your boyfriend should have found himself a girl who doesn't break basic relationship rules.
Well we couldn't agree with everything. In my views if she dresses sexy when we go out together she is dressing like that to me, not to others. If she does it when she is going out with her friends... well I also like to look good when I go out. So how can I tell her not to when I do the same thing?
@ThisIsMyOpinion Ah but here is the key difference, she dresses sexy while being with YOU. Not without you. Often this behavior is taken outside of being with your partner. In the end, everyone has different views on it. Some are okay with their girls showing off all by herself, others will only accept it whenever they are around. And some are not okay with it at all. I understand her boyfriend's perspective and it's a shame that everyone would label a different view other than their own as "insecure" (such an overused term).
To each their own of course. I wouldn't be fine with my girl wearing a bikini at a club. It's a matter of respect for me. I guess the amount of clothes where it starts being a disrespect differs from guy to guy. If she uses a cleavage I won't mind as long as it doesn't go to her belly button.
It seems your boyfriend cares about the social context in which you wear certain types of clothes. This is simply his personal values/beliefs/upbringing.
Just like you wouldn't wear a bikini to someone's wedding or go to the shop in your pyjamas (though a lot of people do where I live and that's looked down on by a lot of people), to him it doesn't make any sense to wear clothes you would normally wear on a night out (showing skin/cleavage) every day or in ordinary scenarios.
It's important to ask yourself why you like to dress the way you do and share that with him. Tell him that you're doing it for yourself, because you like how it makes you feel, not to get someone else's attention.
This could also be related to a jealousy issue - he feels you're dressing like you are to get other men's attention. Address that.
MUCH depends upon HOW she behaves WHILE provocatively attired.
Is she merchandizing for YOUR replacement? ( He's insecure in HIS 'stud-ly-ness' ) Or, is she evoking envious male attention to AFFIRM TO YOU... how 'lucky' YOU are!
Think of Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl" : "... Jessie's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine
And she's watching him with THOSE EYES And she's lovin' him with THAT BODY, I just know it! And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night
You know I wish that I had Jessie's girl I wish that I had Jessie's girl WHERE CAN I... find a woman like that?"
He might be possessive, so watch your back; he could think you broadcasting that you are a slut (which would reflect on him); he might be think that he'll never get better than you and is afraid someone else is gonna come along convince you to leave him your dust. As for me, I would only be concerned depending where you go dressed like that on your own, mostly safety concerns, because who doesn't want their partner to look awesome?
I suggest talking to him about it, communication is key to any relationship. Can't hurt to know why he's annoyed. Up to you, good luck.
From what I have noticed, those who get annoyed are mostly the ones with lower income. I am not even joking. I love wearing sexy clothes when I am with my boyfriend in public. He is not as insecure because he knows I won’t leave me despite the attention that I get from other men :)
If he was fine with it when you two met then the thrill of the chase is over. You're now a possession he's insecure & immature. He should be proud of you & trust you regardless unless you gave him reason not to. Tell him first how you feel, let it all out, lay your cards on the table. If it continues let him go. Find someone who will respect you in every way.
The difference between a negative and a positive guy and a guy that has confidence and no confidence he might have been saying all those things to you I would give you I would be giving you a kiss on your lips and neck and I whisper in your ear I know who's getting laid tonight
When you love someone it irritates you when others are looking at that person as a sexual object and not the amazing person you fell in love with. You want the world to see them the same way you do as that amazing person. At least that's how it is for me.
I wouldn't care. Whatever makes you feel sexy. If you're close to nude, obviously it's not cool, but what you're wearing there seems borderline okay with me. Only control freaks give a shit about that kinda stuff. As long as I trust the girl and know she's not doing stuff behind my back, she can do what she wants.
Because he wants to spend a relaxing day with you and not be "on guard" next to you. Some guys like showing off their girlfriends and others don't. I personally like her to walk in front me dressed like that, as bait for the assholes out there but that's me. That is assuming I don't strip her out of that outfit myself first ;)
Would you be annoyed if he started posting screenshots of his salary.. His bank account statement.. His 401k.. Value of his assets. Everyday on Instagram and Facebook..
It's just like that.. He loves you if he is saying these things!..
Simple, the male do not want other males to see their girlfriend body especially in a lewd way. Its just another part of showing loving. Some might not care at all some will be caring on how he or she dress. Yes, for some instance even female do not like females to look at their boyfriend interestingly let alone sexual thinking. Then again some might not care at all.
Because he thinks you're trying to attract other men. He's jealous basically. I think you knew this but, in case you didn't, that's LIKELY, and I stress the word LIKELY, which means not ALWAYS, the reason why he doesn't like you wearing sexy clothing out of the house.
If you want to know, just ask. The number one failure in relationships? Communication
If this is the same way you dressed when the two of you got together and he knew about it at that time, he has no right to complain about it and want you to change now.
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