Should I Give up On This Shy Guy?

[glowgirl3]

The short end of the story is last month I gave a shy guy my phone number, he called from a private number (found out from his brother) but he hung up. This past weekend I saw him. I was going to go up and invite him out in a group setting to ease his nervousness but he bailed early.

I think he bailed early because he saw me. He was with his friend and after he saw me, five minutes later he got up and left. That whole time he looked extremely nervous. Anyway, on Tuesday, once again I got a call from another private number. Same thing happened, I kept saying hello until the person finally hung up.

I'm assuming it's him again because of the nature of the call. If I had his number I would call him but I don't want to freak him out. I'm a very patient person but I don't really have any indicators to stick around as he's giving me no signs. Should I just give up? Thanks!

[arandomperson]

This guy must really like you, if he's acting like that around you. You're going to have to be the "man" at the beginning of the relationship, just to get the ball rolling.

Step 1: Ask him out to a place where he will feel comfortable. For instance, if he is a geek do not ask him to go to a nightclub with you

Step 2: Whilst out go out of your way to put his nerves at ease. so if you see he's on the verge of freaking out, just start talking about a subject that he knows about and interests him. seriously, nothing puts a person (girl or guy) more at ease than if they are talking about something they like. In Australia what the nurses do when they are giving people injections is they talk to them about their life. totally puts patients at ease. I know from first hand experience

Step 3: Wait for him to grow balls. eventually he will realise that you like him, which will give him confidence, and put his nerves at ease. When this happens he will step up and be the "man" in the relationship.

If you have the time could you answer my questions. Thanks

All the best

[glowgirl3]

Thank you so much! I'll take your advice and let you know how it goes. From what I can see he is at ease with every other woman but myself. Great advice! I'll also answer your questions.

[deanat78]

It's really great to see that you're not giving up on him and you're still giving him a chance, I think you should wait just a little longer and let him try to work it out. When you see in person, talk to him and try to make him more comfortable, maybe mention something like "oh, I saw you at that event last week, it was great! Too bad you had to leave so early" to let him know that you did notice him. But don't mention the "anonymous" phone calls, that would just be putting him on the spot and make him feel so much worse. It's quite obvious that he does like you though, maybe he's just still trying to gather courage. If after a few more encounters there's no improvement, you can just give up. Who knows, maybe in a few months he'll gain more confidence and suddenly call you and .... time will tell.

[boriquachula18]

He probably scare of what your friends would think of him and what his friends would think of u..he probably never had a relationship or even make up wit a girl meaning sex n likewise or even not kiss a girl ..he probably never had experience..but you could break him out of his shell from that shyness he has..certain guys r shy because dey like you but don't know how to express it..or scare he gonna get play once you figure who he really is..or might b scare of getting hurt...things like that..i use to date a shy guy..but I didn't give him enough time but right now we just friends. n he I really got to know him well..just start a conversation with him. ask random questions..and see what you two into..stuff like that..

[glowgirl3]

His brother told me that he was hurt really bad by a past girlfriend so that could be the issue. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Really, it is totally up to you. do you really like him and is that all worth it to you? it seems like he is really playing games. if you really like him and want to see where this goes, you should just ask him straight out what he thinks about you? it's kinda nice to be in control when you are dating a shy guy, but you have to know what you are getting yourself into.

[alpinestars-2002795]

I think your biggest problem was inviting a shy guy to a group get together big no go.... Shy guys don't do group chats especially with a girl...it's gotta be one on one people make it WORSE....Or else he woulda just walked up to you in the first place in the group and said hey whats up ur pretty good looking wana hang out sometime? Im a shy guy trust me the group thing was why he ran.

AlPiNe~

[curiousguy]

Don't give up, give the guy time. The only problem is the guys own problem w/ shyness. Next time you see him, just go over and talk to him and show him that he shouldn't be afraid of you. He obviously likes you but is very shy.

[johnsmith2116]

If you do find a way to get in touch with him, maybe give him one more chance. But if that doesn't do it, then forget it.

[Anonymous]

Hey now, we shy guys have feelings too, we just a little difficulty with it all. :p