Why would a guy friend zone you when you tried to friend zone him first before pursuing a relationship with them?

[Anonymous]

There’s this guy that I met that I thought was attractive. I told him off the jump I wanted to start off as friends because I wanted to get to know him and see where things go progressing into a relationship. But he didn’t want to be friends at first because he didn’t want me to friend zone him even though I said that I wouldn’t. Fast forward we’ve been seeing each other for 3wks going on dates. He knew I’m a virgin and very innocent and said he was willing to wait until I’m ready, but sent sexual memes and joked about sending nudes which I kindly turned down. He told his family about me and they really liked me and told him to bring me home but his mom said he normally doesn’t go out with the same girl more than twice, so I was kind of like hmm. We’ve been on 5 dates but he was consistent and then a couple days ago he started pulling away from me knowing we had a date planned for yesterday. I asked if we were good and he literally answered saying “Maybe we can just be friends?” I asked him to explain what he meant or tell me why he wants to just be friends given the fact that it was sudden. He never called me back, he left me on open actually. Like does he really want to be friends or like what is it? I’m left confused and a little hurt because he didn’t even show up for the date no explanation whatsoever. And the fact that I said let’s be friends first get to know each other in the beginning JUST to be told at the end that “maybe we should just be friends”. Please explain the logistics of what happened here.

[Cynicaldreamer]

It sounds like you dodged a bullet. I'm assuming one of two things happened:

He got tired and impatient of waiting for sex from you, so he friendzoned you. That is NOT a bad thing by the way- any guy that dumps you because you're not ready for sex wasn't worth being with in the first place.

Or he found someone else he's interested in or wants to sleep with (see reason 1).

Either way, don't even stress over it. The fact is he's no longer interested in you. I'd delete all traces of him and move on with your life.

[Anonymous]

Tired of waiting for the next level.
He could be shitty for it like the ladies say. Or he knows his worth, and wants a woman who treats him like a man.
He could also be trying to give you a taste of the medicine.

Personally, I'm in my mid 20s, and any woman who wants to be friends first, I keep at arms length. I'm not about to invest energy into someone who doesn't want what I want, from my point of view, these women often end up being immature, needy, and just not my type. I have a career, social life, hobbies, and a love life that will take precendence over a forced friendship maybe (probably not) relationship.

Either way, drop him and move on, or text something interesting in a few days to a week, if you are really interested.

[kyleelyn199723]

Sounds like he’s just looking for sex and probably introduces a lot of his “dates” to his mother for some reason. He doesn’t sound like an overall respectable guy.