Why does my boyfriend do this?

[Anonymous]

We have been together for ~5 months. He generally sweet & a good person. He text consistently and says he loves me. But I realized that he goes into “cold periods” where he doesn’t text as much, takes forever to open my messages, becomes vague about his plans and doesn’t make plans to meet. It makes me so confused and mad sometimes because I just don’t know what he’s up to. Especially in weekends “ like today” where he didn’t call or text the night before and didn’t reply to my morning message. Last week we had this conversation because he flaked on me as we were planning to go to the movies. This weekend I kinda have this expectation that he will make it up by planning/ taking me to the movies. And NOTHING. What should I do. I don’t want to have the same conversation every week because I don’t want to sound desperate. But this confuses me. Help. why this guy does this when he says he loves me and care a lot about me

[Anonymous]

Some guys are like this, my boyfriend included. I think it comes down to trust, and not freaking yourself out because he’s taking longer to reply. Here’s the thing love — you can’t twist his arm into being the man you want him to be. Maybe you feel reassured by steadier conversation and when he gets cold/quiet you panic, so you really want him to stop doing that. But clearly that’s just not him, since you’ve mentioned this more than once to him and yet he continues to upset you time and again. So you’re left with a big decision on your end, which is to accept this hot and cold trait and be done talking about it or walk away because you want someone who will acknowledge your distress the first time you mention it and stop doing the bothersome thing.

[Asker]

Thank you.💜.

[pajamasam]

When women do this to me (and yes they have before) I just drop them completely. If he can't respect your time with at least some effort to communicate better then don't wast the effort. Because it seems like you are applying more of the effort to communicate than he is. Don't wait for him to change or try to convince him to be better. Just leave him. Tell him if he isn't going to put in effort then your gonna leave and find someone who will, because believe me, there are guys out there who are willing to put in the effort.

[Asker]

I thought many times about leaving. I’m just tiered of this dating thing. In my head he just seam to be better than many others. And I actually have feeling for him. But all you said is accurate 💔

[pajamasam]

I'm so sorry your struggling. Just remember that you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink.

I hope he wakes up and realizes he could lose you. But I hope you find your happiness more. Wish you the best of luck.

[Blink9989]

CAUSE maybe he feels your either making a big deal over something thats minor or your constantly blowing up his phone so after awhile it get tiring and repetitive to text back the same thing he's already explained 4 times in 3 days

[Asker]

Who gave you that information? Lol. And MAYBE also you’re a dumb ass single boy who’s waiting on someone to give a shit about you but no body does CUASE maybe you stupid😊

[Blackcupcake]

Maybe he wants you to start taking the initiative?

[Asker]

I do initiate a lot of times especially in making plans to go out. But I’m sick of it