Should I give him a chance?

[sarinaaj]

My friend and I have known each other over 10 years. We have always been friends until 2019 he asked me out on a date. I agreed, but then he said we couldn’t anymore because he got back with his ex. We continued our friendship until he told me he felt our friendship was inappropriate as he was back with his ex. He stopped talking to me over a year. Now, he’s back after all this time and wants to go on that date now as he and his ex broke up yet again. Should I give him a chance or avoid? I don’t want to be disappointed and forgot about again if his ex enters the picture.

[AnonyWoman4309]

That's a hard question.
I think first you should tell him what you said exactly in that last sentence: "I'm thinking about it (the date), but honestly, I don't want to be forgot about again if your ex re-enters the picture"

See what his reply is, then it'll be a little easier to determine if you should give him another chance.
If he says something along the lines of "I know that was messed up, I'm sorry, I won't do that again" ask "how do I know my time won't be wasted if your ex re-enters the picture" (but in your own words). If he assures you that it would be unlikely, give him another chance and tell him that you really like him but this is his last chance. "I really like you so I want to go on this date, but this is your last chance, if you mess up I'll have no choice but to go"

If he says anything else don't give him another chance. Anything that sounds like "but...", "I couldn't help it..." or puts him in the victim mentality/I was right mentality belongs in the trash.

[AnonyWoman4309]

By assuring him this is his last chance he'll be less likely to take you for granted in general.

[sarinaaj]

Thank you for your help! I’ll try this and see.

[sarinaaj]

He apologized before but it’s all like this is the second time..

[AnonyWoman4309]

Of course glad I could help!! :D And yeah what he did was really messed up, you don't have time to be anyone's second choice! This next response should definitely be make or break

[sarinaaj]

😭 sadly i’ve been second option many times.. just my luck. it’s why i stay single :/

[Iron_Man]

No don’t give him a chance he is the one that turned you down and gave up the friendship after 10 years of knowing you that’s not right

[sarinaaj]

I agree!

[Iron_Man]

Thank you and I wish you the best

[sarinaaj]

all the best to you too ☺️

[Iron_Man]

😊...

[exitseven]

Be upfront with your concerns. Sometimes timing can really screw things up.

[sarinaaj]

That’s true.. but he kinda let me down twice. So..

[exitseven]

Third time is the charm? Or three strikes , you're out.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO

[Avicenna]

It's a legit concern, and you should ask him about that.

[sarinaaj]

He said they are done but ofcourse, he’s said that last time. I just can’t trust his word when we’ve been here before.

[MotorcycleMan]

Naw, he had his chance. He chose someone else.