So I was in a friends with benefits relationship with a friends for a long time but also met another guy whilst I was seeing this friends with benefits.
I now have a bad relationship with the Current guy I’m seeing as he’s very abusive and controlling. We have both agreed we aren’t in an exclusive relationship but a situationship complicated.
I saw my friends with benefits a few days ago and ended up having a big fight with him as he couldn’t understand why i was with the other guy (abusive one) he got mad and said you should leave if u are unhappy but I explained to him I’ve foolishly fell in love with him and having trouble leaving. my friends with benefits ended up blocking me and my friend asked him why his response was because I’m stupid for being with someone abusing but then my friend told him it’s hard to leave abusive relationships and his response was this WHAT DID HE MEAN BY THIS STATEMENT?I’ll mention that I am a model and so is the guy I’m seeing and we both party and so on and he probably talks to other girls and obviously I have. A friends with benefits so it’s a toxic situation
WHY DID MY friends with benefits GET ALL SH*TTY AT ME FOR TALKING ABOUT ANOTHER GUY?
These circumstances are never black / white , and always merging GREY. So lets turn this around okey? You want him to be happy that you selected another guy who is also abusive for friends with benefits? If he was happy about it , he wouldn't care for you at all..
He is questioning you judgement and in this case thats certainly justified , now one thing for sure , get rid of that abusive idiot immediately , and thank your initial man for being caring. These things are never easy.
0
2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I understand that he cares but the way he acted when I spoke of my issues was over the top aggressive like telling me to shut the fuck up when I’m always there listening to his problems?
Also if it’s such a casual friends with benefits why should he give a shit
Because you are having sex , youve given a part of yourself. Agreed abusive language is not called for by him , but he's probably young and angry. Take a deep breathe , and back to point one.
Because he dont understand how u can be so stupid to stay with someone u clearly know is bad as u was complaining about them guys don't like to hear pointless venting if u have a issue fix it dont cry about it then return to that situation
0
10 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I understand that but I wasn’t going on and on about him and HE even vents about his problems to me.
Like a few months ago I sat there for over an hour listening to him talk about his ex and his ptsd and shit so I assumed me venting a little would be okay
People are far from perfect just because u sat there through him venting dont mean he is able to do the same for u especially if in his mind he has the answer too the issue for your problem
Because its called friends with benefits lol there is the friend aspect stop looking at it like cos he got angry he cares so he wants to be with you its not that clearly he just feels your being a idiot for staying with someone that is toxic
I’m sorry but I never said I think he wants something more BUT his behaviour was out of line?
I was just casually talking about my issues like I have in the past. He always spoke of his issues with his exes and I listened. But I speak of this guy for a little bit and he tells me to shut the fuck up
Yes how he dealt with is was immature but u keep saying why would he care if its just casual sex like he is incapable off a opinion because its just sex and like I said just because u was able to put up with him venting dont mean he is capable off doing the same
Yeah. I should of mentioned were actually somewhat family as I met him through my sisters husband (her husbands cousin) he also lived with us for a year and we became very close so it’s not just a run of the mill casual relationship he does have at least somewhat serious platonic feelings for me
It’s really sad that you don’t see the error of your ways or understand why he is upset with you. Just because you are friends with benefits does not mean he gives zero shits about you, so obviously it is frustrating for him to hear you nonchalantly talk about being in deep love with an abuser, then still expect sex from him.
0
6 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I understand that but my assumption was that we just had a casual friendship sexual relationship.
After sex I would always listen to his problems so I thought I would open up to him, it wasn’t like I was going on and on but I was letting it out a bit.
If it was just a friends with benefits why should he care so much
I get what you mean, but it’s different because you are putting your life in danger, being physically harmed, not just venting about some guy being stupid. Anyone would feel shock and concern if you told them what you’re going through, then express not wanting to leave that situation. friends with benefits doesn’t mean he’s cold and doesn’t care, or shouldn’t care. He’s a human and you’re someone he shares physical, intimate moments with. Of course he cares to an extent. What you’re going through is scary and even if he doesn’t express it the best way, he is concerned, as anyone who cares a drop about you would be as well. Give him a bit more credit.
Yeah I agree with you fully but the thing is also we have literally been mates since 2016 he lived with me and my older sister (I met him through my sisters partner cousin) so he felt like family.
He didn’t give me a chance to even see that i may leave this guy and just blocked me cut contact
See, that’s even more history than I would’ve thought so I am definitely not surprised that he is concerned about you. It doesn’t sound like he handled that argument the best but maybe he doesn’t know any better. I know people who feel like cutting someone off is easier than watching them go through something like you are going through.
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
