I’m almost 26 and I’m a virgin who’s been kissed less than 10 times. I’m invisible to the opposite sex. I love love and want to be loved. It’s super important to me. I’ve asked out 30 or more guys and I’ve been turned down. I’m super ugly (see photo). Does anyone have advice on how to find love and/or be even 1% less hideous (besides surgery)? Thanks.
Don’t say I’m cute/pretty, don’t say everyone is beautiful in their own way, don’t tell me to love myself, don’t tell me I haven’t found the right guy yet, don’t tell me to be confident, just don’t to me and try to tell me I’m not ugly. That’s not helpful and anyone who says that is getting blocked.
Well first of all it's kind of messed up thing you ask that's how the question the thing you tell us if we answer it we're going to get blocked with an attitude I don't understand that so that deliver one thing I work on If a guy is going to take the time to answer your question and he wants to give you his best answer that means he wants to help you that means he's giving a piece of himself to you, to help you.
Just think how many guys have tried to help you in the past that you know personally can you fire off on him like that you think a guy would want to hang around with the girl like you So you asked a question and I'm going to answer it whether you like it or not you can block me if that's what you need to do if that's what makes you feel good everything that you just listed did you don't want to hear it doesn't really sound like you've even taken that advice. Before I even read your question I look deep into your eyes cuz I wanted to see who you are what you all about I'm just going to be 100% honest with you as I look into your eyes I said to myself you know what she's not a bad looking girl if she would do this and do this she would probably be a pretty hot girl and then I read your question and I hope you don't take this wrong and I'm not saying it to be rude or right or wrong I'm just going to tell you what I see and feel like I said if you get a few things to yourself you probably a pretty hot number but I think the ugliness that you're talking about is it you are so angry that whatever I'm not sure what that your words come across as a person like I said it's just either angry it doesn't like anybody or doesn't even like themselves or just doesn't give a shit and thinks everything is all about them if that's the case then that's the case you'll figure it out. I actually think that you slept yet like the way that you wrote me a question because I think you could have got a lot of insight and a lot of good answers whether you wanted to hear them or not it's how you handle it that counts. So let me ask you this the question that you asked I know you request who you really are maybe I don't know you see I know these things I think what you have to do is believe this question and maybe ask it in a different way a different tone of voice find a humble voice lol seriously you can do it any way you want to do it it's your prerogative. So to answer your question first of all I would sit down with piece of paper and break down every reason why you think you're ugly. And then on that same piece of paper write down every single thing and every reason why you hate yourself and then the other side of that piece of paper write down on that paper what type of guy is the perfect guy and how would you want to be treated by him and how would you treat him how would you love him might learn something about yourself and do we know this just remember one thing. When we are born we are all given a gift is the gift of choice we get to choose who we want to be in life by the things we say and do. Choices are more powerful word Than Love because every couple seconds of every moment we are making choices and if it's your choice to feel like you're ugly and hate yourself that's your choice nobody can do anything about that only you can because you're the only person inside your body I think I would re-evaluate yourself I think if you ever tried a different choice you would absolutely love yourself I can tell you how to look hot I can tell you that much and I can probably also tell you how to be nice don't come across like a little nude girl and whatever it is that's making you angry I hope you can figure that out too you should definitely try to figure something out because you're not that bad looking over girl
Being brutally honest. Your haircut is grotesque. That, right there, is self sabotage.
You need to lose some weight. That is doable, right?
In looking at your face, I can't pick out any particular flaws aside from having no eyebrows. You've got big eyes, which is fantastic. There's nothing wrong with your nose. You have nicely shaped lips.
You're not pock marked. You don't have any lines. You actually look fresh ad tender. You could make yourself look very feminine.
There's a lot of good material to work with. So, ... Learn. How. To Apply. Makeup. You want to use make up in such a way that it isn't obvious. And, for the love of God, do something with your hair.
Beyond that, believe in yourself, practice excellent posture, smile. Work on being happy and fun. LIKE yourself. It's hard to like someone who doesn't like their self.
If you practice looking fun and self-confident, even it you don't believe it at first, it will gradually become habitual. It will gradually reprogram your brain to believe it. You become what you believe.
Can I be real with you? Yes I do find you are cute but I don’t see you trying more and upgrading yourself. What you are missing is to upgrade. What do I mean by that … - to upgrade yourself you have to accept challenges and judgements. For example if I tell you you HAVE to lose weight? What will you say? Please stop that all body weight are beautiful? Well no if you want to upgrade yourself you have to accept the truth. I saw your picture you are white / pale looking like an angel. You have pretty eyes BUT I find your face fat. Please don’t hate me for saying this. As women to women understand me that I’m not saying this to Put you down. Your face is fat I can tell right there that you are fat all over your body. — first step to upgrade is TO LOSE WEIGHT go exercise every day. Look into intermittent fasting don’t be lazy HELP yourself. And no don’t listen to guys who say they like thick girls. You don’t need a soy boy — second step , grow your hair maintain a good hair care!! When women take good care of the hair they feel sexy right away. Beauty is by feeling it rather than showing it you can’t really show it. You feel it and guys can SENSE THAT VIBE — thirds step , be clean try to simply put the best of you out there. Find your WEAPON do you have a cute voice? Are you funny? Are you empathic? Find your best trait and get advantage of it. From what I can see you are feminine ,, learn how to show it. It’s ok it’s not the end of the world if guys don’t like you YOU HAVE TO LIKE YOURSELF FIRST guys will follow !!! Guys are simple you own the kitty lol all you have to do is show that you are a lady ~ don’t give a fuck for a cucumber. You own your happiness
Yes! YES YES!!! I so agree with u in every point u said. @alana follow her advice. Its hard work but its worth it like they say beauty costs or no one said beauty was easy. I beleive in you that you can do it.😍
Okay I am totally listening to what you've said so I'm not going to say anything..
When I was like 18 my crush rejected me and I decided I wanted to have what was called a 'glow up'. I. e. I had to shift my focus on superficial things -- whether we like it or not, LOOKS initiate attraction. And then personality builds a connection.
Women, by nature, are beautiful. Any women can attract men with the following checklist: - Good hygiene (smelling nice is a plus!) - Well-dressed (nicely represented incl. hair done) - Feminine energy
If you decide to embark on this journey, YouTube is your best friend, love! I'll leave a few suggestions below, but focus on YOUR style and what feels best to you. Enjoy the process too, it should be fun.
You sound like the female version of me. You being a woman though, I seriously doubt you're an incel/femcel. Maybe your standards are just too high. Let's test it and see.
Have you ever been on Reddit's /r/foreveralone and asked for a date there? Do you use Tinder? How tall are you and do you have any height requirements in men? (Any at all is a negative.) Do you know how to use makeup? Do you know how to do your hair, or at least buy wigs? Do you dress correctly for the occasion? Do you act feminine? Do you go to the gym and are committed to getting in better shape? (Not that you need to, but it would improve your chances.) Are you willing to ask more men out? (30 rejections is not a lot. That's how much men get rejected within two months in the real world, and within a single day in online dating.)
Try all of these things first. And if you've struck out with all of these and REALLY TRULY consider yourself to be a femcel, then PM me and I'll date you. Put your money where your mouth is.
You just haven't worked on it at all, but most women do, so you feel ugly in comparison, although yes, your competition marks your sexual marketplace value.
Main thing, get fit, not just okay, closer to fit than okay. As you are a bit older now, need to up the game. For women it's super simple, you don't need to build ton of muscle, just eat healthy, count calories and burn 10-20% more than you eat. Add squats and other leg work 3 times a week, for 40min each. Other 3 days do some light core, back and arm workout. Include some type of cardio, 4 times a week.
No need to go too hard on your workout, just stay active and just do it. Once you get fit then it will be much easier to maintain it, need to work a bit now.
Secondly go to a hair stylist, not a regular hairdresser. They will help you sort that out.
Worry about makeup after you are fit, most likely won't need much. And wouldn't be overwhelmed by tons of tasks.
That is all. Super simple really. Spend 6 months to a year, depending on your own motivation, doing it and you will be around 7-8.
Don't look for excuses or pitty. Get after it and start enjoying your life.
Man I accidentally changed the language on my keyboard it was crazy. Anyways this dude nailed it. I’d say cut your carbs and maybe jump Start it with a cleans. Then when you’re closer to your goal your confidence will start to grow and before you know it you’ll be overwhelmed by dudes. Sorry to piggyback your comment but it was spot on
First of all, you've built an identity around that. There is something you benefit/enjoy about "being ugly" so you don't even want to make an effort to change that. When I was a small kid I pretended to be more clumsy than I was so that my parents would help me to do things for me. I enjoyed the care and pity I received. And even later in life when I was already well above 20, I sought after that same attention in different ways. Very similar to your way in fact, just not about my looks but different "flaws".
If you really wanted to make an effort to be pretty, you'd lose weight, have a nice hairstyle, use make up, like every single attractive looking woman does. But instead you've purposefully uploaded a picture of yourself where you look as ugly as you possibly can. Is that how women normally upload their pictures? Of course not, because they WANT to look pretty, you don't want to.
There’s genuinely a person for everyone so, get on tinder, bumble, hinge, or any dating app. Wear things that make you feel good, make sure your personality is at the forefront of everything you do, whether that be style, or how you set up our profiles. Make yourself available for conversation and strike up new conversations.
You have a cute face, you seriously aren’t ugly. You just haven’t done anything to amp it up. My suggestions- lose weight, since you seem fuller in the face (not trying to sound harsh or like I’m against being overweight but it has been shown people are better looking when thinner- eyes look bigger, cheekbones more evident, face shape changes, etc) and then I would say find the right hairstyle to shape your face and eyebrows to frame your face. I don’t see your eyebrows here so that could be a huge changer. Also getting lashes tinted and lifted adds definition to the eye area. And then just normal classic makeup can add a lot. Seriously I spent forever changing my look and the littlest things (without surgery -I went down that path and I really don’t advise it) can make the biggest difference! You are NOT ugly. You really do have a good baseline as someone else mentioned.
Not invisible, but just asking lots of people may not be the answer. I'm not sure how you feel about makeup, but from this photo it looks like you could use some basic info on hair care and makeup or skin care. I'm not sure what you expect, cause all your "no's" listed are all important factors. I would start by forgetting about those kisses, getting so hung up on those things rather than focusing on other things that make you happy (aka healthy) is a sure bet to not getting anywhere good. Some salons or friends can be useful in trying new things and getting comfortable with them. Small steps first okay? Don't try and go from this to diva, it will cause more emotional baggage (aka garbage you don't need to deal with).
One way to be more attractive is to show people your inside. Show them your sweet side, be generous, offer to hangout with people, be happy around people, if you're sad around everyone, they'll think you don't like them, and then they won't want to hang out with you (trust me I had the same problem). So I tried to be my enthusiastic fun-loving self I'd be when I was with my friends, and I'm still working on it, but I'm getting there. I know you might not wanna hear this at the moment, but I think you're just fine. You can block me if you want but I'm just gonna say it. I know how you feel, for years I was bullied, mocked, even laughed at in public just because of my features. Boys would sit in front of me and then whisper to each other discussing all the flaws my face had, and laugh at me as they did it. So yeah, to me your perfectly fine. Feel free to dm me if you wanna talk
I might suggest growing your hair longer and have it styled. I believe a mentor in applying makeup might be useful. It might help to work out and change your diet. Most people are capable of changing their appearance for the better.
I've something to say about hating yourself. Let's suppose you are as hideous as you believe (hideous was your word, not mine). Even if that's true, is that cause to hate yourself? Do you hate others who are ugly? People shouldn't hate others who are ugly. Thus I believe you shouldn't hate yourself. Even if it's true that you are hideous (again, your word, not mine), you remain a worthy human being. You are entitled all the dignity that others deserve. I so hope you find it in yourself to understand that you are valuable, with as much to give to humanity as anyone else. You deserve respect not just from others, but yourself, even if your worst fears about your appearance prove true.
Well you can block me if you’d like but the truth is that you can’t love someone if you don’t even know how to love yourself. You need to work on yourself and your confidence. Whatever you don’t like and can change, change it and if you can’t change it, learn to accept and live with it. You don’t have to get over it completely, but as long as it stays a minor issue that doesn’t impact your day to day then it’s all good (I’m talking about your insecurities). Confidence is KEY to attracting people in general, so yes if you go around calling yourself ugly and putting yourself down, a lot of guys will be turned off by that and it’s not because of how you look but because of your personality, your mindset.
Good ways to start with building confidence? Self care is number one. Good hygiene, smelling good, dressing up, wear makeup every now and then (optional), exercise, healthy relationship with food etc.
I have always held the belief that nobody is born ugly. However attractiveness takes work. As a guy I once felt the same way you do. You have to find a style of clothing that suits you. I would recommend growing your hair longer. Exercise, workout, read up on dieting and eat healthy. Do not doubt for one second that you are what you eat. Wear dresses and skirts to look feminine. Guys will notice this because very women do so anymore. Remember you are competing with other women for male attention. So you want to be ahead of the competition. Do not smoke or swear a lot.
As I said I was once in the same boat. But I started working out and eventually did bodybuilding competitions. Started getting lots of female attention after that.
When we have a negative outlook on ourselves, we tend to let that negativity drive us to greater depths of despair. Makeup and hairstyling by professionals will help. You need to take care of yourself because you're the only one you have got. Think beautiful and you can be beautiful. That's not bullshit. I have a daughter that felt the same way. I took her to a spa one day. Got her hair done and had a professional do her makeup. She was a fucking knockout. Since then she has done her own makeup using the same techniques as the pros. Her love life has improved substantially.
I get turned down by women like you all the time. Maybe Im ugly? Seriously am I ugly? I mean I wish a girl like you would go out with me. You've not got the greatest look but your also unhealthy. If you got outside and smiled more, used your face muscles more. The face is just a composite of all the expressions you make. You look like you stare into the distance a lot and let your jaw go slack. A sign of good teeth is a strong jaw, because normally someones teeth would have to fit toghether in order for their jaw to get a work out. Get the Idea? Thats why Im not picky about my partner because I know almost everything there is to know about the human body. Its all fixable if you know how and are willing to do it.
Watch some comedies ( that really make you laugh) and start chewing gum.
Okay you should keep eye on your diet let's be honest you're fat you could be better looking but you have to move your ass and take a step keep eye on your diet eat healthy food avoid frying food fast food. Get gym membership do cardio exercises and light weight lifting so you stay fit but in feminine appearance heavy weight will make you fit but in masculine frame whichs generally turn off. Work with good hair styler and when you lose weight and look better a light make up will make you look at your best version of yourself. Also for now do a hobbies you like you sound stressed and over thinking it. Good luck
Lose weight, start working on changing your style. It’s fine if you want to keep your hair short but you can cut it the right style for your face shape. Wear more colorful clothes and different styles like skirts and dresses or even high waisted jeans with jackets and tank tops. Learn how to do a makeup that will suit your face shape and make your facial features more visible. Good luck and remember every girl is pretty in her own way but she needs to put some effort for it. And there’s a special someone out there waiting for you out there.
Go to therapy your mental health and well-being will thank you. Also building up smiling more but don’t force it. Exercise helps and it makes you feel better naturally. I’ve never been a fan of makeup so I won’t suggest wearing it…. but invest in nice clothes, shoes, bags. Also there’s an app called meetup and it’s basically a whole bunch of groups around you that you can go to ….. try a happy hour or just girl-friend one with females that go out to fun places like wineries and get out of your comfort zone. You cannot expect someone to PROPERLY love you if you do not love yourself ….. that’s how people get in messed up and abusive relationships. So focus on loving and making you feel good. Guys will come later.
Yesterday there was a 5'4 guy on here saying he will never have a girlfriend. Today you're here looking for Love. Maybe Gag should have a dating section to connect people?
I don't know? LoL! I'm not 6 feet, but I've never had any issues getting women. I am 41 years old though. It does seem like there's a trend right now for short women to date tge tallest guys they can find. I personally think they look ridiculous together, but It's none of my business.
I will try to be cruel yet honest because i know thats what you want. 1.) where did your eyelashes/eye brows go? Those are feminine features you could easily enhance. 2.) why is your hair so short? Yes it appears to be thin but if possible growing it out will look more feminine and less boyish.
I dont know what the rest of your body looks like but your face is not bad it is just unloved by you. It is very blank and boyish but not ugly you could do better if you put in some effort to look more feminine. Most girls would look like a boy if they employed your fashion technique. Some makeup, longer hair and you would look cute because your face is normal looking not deformed or unhealthy.
Go on tinder, trust me you'll see just how many men don't give a damn what you look like. Will they love you right away? Probably not. But with experience you'll become more and more appealing and eventually attract the right guy.
It's not perfect, but at least it beats feeling sorry for yourself over things you cannot cotnrol
Last I checked money is not involved. But sex for sure. I never said it was perfect but it beats being alone all your life. You never know i was at the wedding of a tinder couple last week and they have been solid for 5 years and counting.
First of al you are not ugly. Al those extremely beautiful people you see are only 1% of al human kind. Al the other 99% are just the average normal looking people like you and me. Did you ever look at photos from people 100-200 years ago? Those people look normal. Today’s standards are ridiculous. You really look fine.
At the same time though, I know I can't expect someone to fix me. That void inside me will still be there even if I found the perfect partner (which I probably never will). And it hurts.
So I have to keep trying to fix myself. Maybe one-day I can be a person that can be loved.
Still hate myself, but hopefully I can hate myself a little less next month. Or at least think about it a little less
Thank you so much cupcake for your kindness and love. You make this world a better place. At least you do for my world. And *hugs* I'll take all the hugs I appreciate you ☺️
Firstly, you seriously need to work on your mental health. If you are depressed and feel shit about yourself then you will have no desire to make an effort to look good. Do something about this, its the most important thing.
When you are happier within yourself you will like the outside more.
You just need a makeover for your looks if you are not happy with them. Put in some effort. Try to make the best of what you have. Hair, makeup, clothes, personal care, exercise.
Start wearing a little makeup, work out, change your diet. Try swimming, it's a great way to stay healthy and reduce weight. You're absolutely not ugly, you're beautiful. You have good features, so just lose some weight, and wear a little makeup, you'll look even more beautiful. Confidence comes from within. Don't worry girly. Loads of love <3
Honestly girl if you got fake eye lashes or micro blading or colored your eyebrows it would bring out your eyes more. Or maybe lightened your hair a little bit with highlights. Getting facial masks from CVS or Walgreens would also help brighten you natural skin and make it glow. All of the things mentioned above would help in bringing out your natural features and would hopefully make you feel better about yourself. Confidence is key if a guy doesn’t want to date you then be like whatever it is how you feel about yourself that will help you to attract a good quality man.
You need to build your confidence. Confidence is what gets you notice. And if I were to do a make over on you, I'd have you grow your hair out or curl it, maybe color it a color you like, and then do your make up.
Sometimes trying something different makes a world of difference.
Start by shaping and using a brown eyebrow pencil to darken your brows. My eyebrows are naturally blonde so it looks like I don't have any unless I darken them.
Work out. If looks are what you are concerned about, working out does wonders. I notice a huge difference in my complexion from when I work out and when I don't, not to mention having a nicer body. Squats especially work for both men and women for basically the same reasons. And a lot of guys will overlook a lot of things for a woman with a great, toned ass.
i feel the exact same way and have for years its i am over weight and i know i have to lose it but its hard and really how do you learn to love yourself because they say if you dont love yourself no one else will i think your very pretty if you dont like something to try to change i am
The stuff that makes me feel pretty is good hygiene and self care! Nice skin care routine, new hair style even maybe a new hair colour? Also you could dye your eye brows just a shade darker so they are abit more visible :) tell your self you are beautiful and don’t care what others think, you don’t need a partner to get through life
Your picture looks as if you are... lost. Smile, and think of some good things. This already will make you looking 'better'. Attraction is not only a visual process. So if you find content inside, your outside will make this perceivable. Do also focus on the good and strong sides of yourself. Not saying to ignore what you don't like about you, but rather to not allow that this pulls you down.
First off beauty starts from the inside then it comes out. Start using make up, working out, getting yourself in shape. find a goal and work with it. work on yourself and grow some confidence. one day a guy will ask ya out but till than it's not gonna happen if you are depressing
confidence comes from where i can see anyway to srouces either outside or inside. You need inside confidence and working out and assuring yourself is the best way for you to do that. No matter what happens never lose hope that you will fine someone. Change your hairstyle do something I don't know
How to stop hating myself? Also I don’t hate everything about myself. I know I’m intelligent, funny, and I have a good heart. But guys don’t want that.
You be surprised on how many guys actually do want a girl like you. You just gotta keep looking and keep bettering yourself. As for how to stop hating yourself? Life is always gonna be hard but accepting and improving is what makes it easier. Accept your flaws and try to work on them
Wear makeup and wear cute clothes. And such things can make you feel beautiful. Change your diet and do sports because men like to see that in a woman. If your voice is too deep, try to make it high-pitched. It sounds cuter, but deep voices are sexy according to most men
Its difficult to give advice or answer a question based on that one photo, but there is hope, you probably need to change some things in appearance (hair, makeup etc).
And also behaviour wise on how you behave around guys, how you flirt etc.
you have very weak eyebrows, so do i from lupus, get yourself a brow pencil just very small things will make a big difference. c'mon girl you have beautiful clear skin, great eyes and smile!!!
OK despite that you're being hostile to people who want to help. I won't say any of those things instead I'll say this. You asked 30 guys? Now ask 30 more? You're just scratching the surface of rejections that guys take.
You need to look a bit more feminine, grow your hair, take care of your skin and use some makeup that accentuates your feature without being over the top. Maybe try some facial toning exercises.
Have you ever considered bangs? That would help if you have the hair to do it, also try some light concealer around your eyes that way you look less sleep deprived.
I can tell you from my perspective of a dude who was pretty much invisible to the female sex for most of my life... going to the gym and eating healthier does wonders
I do my best to keep myself in shape but I think what helps is not looking for a partner until you are happy with where you are in life. Generally, doing a diet and working out will greatly diminish this feeling.
Then you can start by eating more glow foods, lose weight, then get proper sleep and regrow your eyebrows. There are tons of internet tips and do it naturally. I mean what else can we do? We're not the ones controlling your body but you.
The way you look to yourself isn’t the way others see you there are things about you that make you attractive that you dont notice because you see yourself all the time
You're not ugly, and as a female you definitely have an advantage, so just lift your head up and have confidence, there's always guys out there for every girl. Just be glad you're not male.
Don't give up. If you really want all of that to change you can, but requires a lot of strength of will. You have to lose weight. That is all. You are not ugly, you are just overweight.
Be patient, be hopeful, surely someone will approach you and love you and you will get your male partner, I pray, God may bless you, with your ideal partner
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