Are men more likely to approach a woman who is average looking but outgoing or good looking but shy?

Question

Average looking but outgoing

smiles a lot
talks a lot
friendly
lots Of friends and hobbies
average in looks (5-6/10)

Pretty but shy

doesn’t smile too much
stoic
doesn't initiate small talk unless she’s interested in a topic
not as many friends or hobbies
attractive (8-9/10)

my guess is most men who are average looking themselves (5-7/10) would go for the first but half of the good looking men (8-9/10) would go for the first and half would go for the second

MelaninQueen21 · Accepted Answer

Although it seems like I'm pretty outgoing, due to my job on campus and me saying hi and speaking with staff, I'm really shy and socially awkward 😅 I have a wide range of style. I have an eclectic style. One day, I can be wearing Grunge clothing, then the next, elegant looking clothing, then the next basic or comfortable clothing, which is usually sweats/joggers and a sweater.

When I get compliments from people, they're usually from staff that I speak with or random girls from around campus. I'm a girl, by the way. The last time I remember being complimented was a few weeks ago,, when I walked into one of mu classes and this girl from the previous class, immediately said out loud, "OMG! You're so pretty!" And the week after that, she complimented me on my Afro.

So I don't get approached by guys. I do, however, will occasionally have a door opened for me by a guy, but that's just about it. Sometimes, I wonder if I come off as intimidating or stuck up! But I just assume that the guys on campus are just so focused in their studies that they don't worry about asking a girl out. And if they do find a girl attractive, they more than likely won't say anything to her.

I, on the other hand, had approached this guy I've been checking out for a while now. Laat week, I finally went up to him and told him how handsome I thought he was... and we went on to talk for about 2 more minutes 😊 He was really sweet, kind and just genuine. He always to himself and he stays in the computer lab. He was also curious about the curriculum at the college, which I was surprised that he asked me. But yah, that's how I feel about the situation, from a females perspective 💯

Commander_Red · Accepted Answer

I'm kind of confused by this question. Are you saying that being shy is a bad thing? A lot of people are shy, but that doesn't make someone a bad person to be with? I mean, I guess you could say someone who talks a lot can be annoying and someone who smiles a lot is a bit suspicious (but that's just me lol). Also, how come having a lot of friends is considered a plus too? Having a lot of friends doesn't mean you have a lot of good friends 🤣

Anyway, it comes down to preference to be honest, and anyone actually looking for a serious relationship will always tell you that looks are secondary as long as both are compatible.

Shizunk · Accepted Answer

How about average looking AND shy? I don't necessarily get completely scared away by looks, but still more likely to not approach 9-10/10. But also with a shy girl I can feel more manly as I am more likely to suggest things and lead the conversation despite being strongly introverted myself.
I generally don't do cold approach on the street, so not sure if that counts, but I may walk up to someone I have never had the opportunity to talk to, but they are in the same environment. Workplace, gaming club, school, etc. I can often look up their name, ask someone or read clues from what they are doing, wearing, etc. A single piece of information is enough to have a believable reason to talk and then who knows where it could go from there...
So a woman may be just blankly staring at a computer screen but if find an excuse, I will still walk up and say "hey, I heard you are a vegan, would you mind answering some questions? I am curious..." So if she shows interest after I start talking, that is all I need. I have never had anyone roll their eyes and say they are too busy to talk right now. That's just not how humans work it seems.

MCheetah · Accepted Answer

No; your guess is likely wrong. Looks have almost nothing to do with it. introverted men would go for the introverted woman, and extroverted men would go for the extroverted woman.

I'm introverted and quiet (but not shy) so, the "Pretty but shy" girl sounds near ideal for me. Outgoing girls require too much mental energy to deal with, for me.

And although you don't have to, I dislike it when these kinds of questions don't come with visual examples, to here ya go.

MrOracle · Answer

The former, for sure.

Why? It's very simple.

The more average-looking woman is going to be seen as being far more likely to have realistic standards for men (not that this is always true, but it's much more likely to be), PLUS the more average-looking woman here is more outgoing, which means the man is much more likely to get feedback from his actions that signal to him whether or not she is interested. If those signals tell him "no, thanks", then he can walk away without being rejected (and possibly humiliated), and if those signals say "yes, please!" then he can ask her with confidence, knowing he's likely to get a "yes" answer.

It's just the opposite with the second girl. She's more physically attractive, which means that most if not all men want to have sex with her - which means she has virtually unlimited options for getting at least initial attention and sex from men, even if that doesn't translate into a relationship - so the competition for her is astronomical, and this allows her to have massively high requirements for a man. Plus she's shy, which means that whether she likes you or not, you're still likely to get "I'm not interested" vibes from her.

In the real world, the second girl is mostly only going to be approached by the kinds of really confident guys who are used to just using girls for sex (because the reason they are so confident is because, in most cases, they get girls easily, and have no need to treat any one girl well, because one girl is easily replaced by another). The first girl is far more likely to be approached by men who don't just want to bang her, but who actually want a relationship with her. These aren't going to be the top 10% guys in most cases (those guys aren't interested in relationships for the most part, especially not with "average" girls), but they'll often be solid guys.

lindakayyyy · Answer

Yes I believe uglier outgoing girls have way more chances of being approached. Guys in general do not make a move unless they see signs of acceptance from the girl. They have to guarantee that 70% they won't be rejected. Guys hate rejection. It is their worse nightmare. So if they see the most beautiful girl but she is so unapproachable they won't risk it. I used to suffer from this in the past. I was so introverted and shy. Never gave guys chance or signs to approach me. Even though I was and still am more attractive than 80% of girls. All the uglier girls my age are now married with kids because of this. I am still single. So yeah girl get over your shyness and comfort zone and start sending vibes and signals for guys to approach you. Maybe even approach them yourself. Because why not?

hahahmm · Answer

You're combining too many characteristics. It's more like if a woman is friendly she will be inviting to way more men. But there's limits to everything too. If she's too outgoing that could turn some guys off. Just like her being too shy would.

That said.. in the metoo age, why should a guy approach a woman he doesn't know at all & they have no mutual friends? All she has to do is tell someone that the guy slapped her butt & even if it's not true he's going to be put on the sex offender's registry, lose his job and be treated like scum for the next 20+ years.

zeitgeist057 · Answer

Physically hot but vapid, boring girls with few friends, social skills, etc: I will approach them to see if there is anything beneath the beautiful exterior, but if it's empty, then I'm not going to put a lot of effort into "digging out that hidden gem" of a personality, even if there is one there. I much prefer an outgoing, confident girl, who has interests, friends (shows that she can and does get along with others easily), etc.

On the other hand, if a woman is mediocre looking at best (5-6), it's unlikely that I'm going to want to be romantically involved with her. But I absolutely would prefer to be friends with someone like this who is interesting, than with a bored (boring) beauty.

ManOnFire · Answer

I definitely approach more outgoing women. I've done it with shy ones before but it's not common for me. No offense, but I don't really enjoy interacting with someone I feel like I have to tiptoe around with or put in the work to put them at ease. Power to whoever can or does but it is not for me.

Also, shy quiet girls are much more likely to take something you said very wrong or make something be an issue much more than it actually is, and create problems - I've seen good guys get fired for that. They'll go to HR about it or spread it around to other people. Those girls are not too shy to do all that.

Ayanna240 · Answer

I have been a shy girl all my life 25+ years.

I can guarantee 100% that outgoing girls tend to get more men than shy girls. Men prefer outgoing girls. Why? because people who talk a lot know how to display themselves, their personality, their charisma in front people. Its like they are advertising themselves in front of masses of people. Everyone knows them and what they are like. And men also tend to find them more approachable and easier to ask out.
If you walk out into the real world, you will find that people do not tend to like introverts nearly as much as extroverts. People like it when you say hi to them, greet them with a smile, how are you? make some small talk , give them a chuckle. It makes them feel noticed and welcomed by your friendliness. People typically don't like it when you never say anything.

If you're a pretty , shy girl, you probably will have guys approaching you too. But its much easier to get a date as an outgoing girl.

turtl3man · Answer

Personally it's kinda hard to get the attention of someone shy unless they already like me, in that case I've already got their attention 😅. I also tend to think to myself "if they're this pretty and they have hardly any friends, there's probably a big reason for that" it can either make them intimidating and/or interesting.
An outgoing girl is a crowd pleaser, she knows how to be fun and make you comfortable around her which are awesome traits. Even if she's not exceptionally good looking, she just might know how to get you interested anyway.
If I had to go for someone who wasn't already interested in me in the first place but liked spending time with me in general, I'd probably be more likely to approach the outgoing girl

Hairylegs222 · Answer

When I don't know her yet, then approaching her for the 1st time, how would I know if she's outgoing or shy? I'm not going to spy on her noticing those little details you mentioned lol.

Assuming I somehow already know she's shy or outgoing, it doesn't matter to me. There's far more important things to know about her.

Looks are more in the ballpark in the situation of approaching a woman for the 1st time when not knowing her yet. Everyone has their own preferences for looks in a partner so that answer will vary. I do believe the hotter girl will get approached more then the average looking one.

JSmuve · Answer

Depends on how bold they are and whether they prioritize looks or personality. Last girl I approached fit under the second category but it went pretty bad. She didn't even make eye contact and pretended I didn't exist. I walked away after a few seconds once I realized she was a dud lol. She had such a resting bitch face and couldn't string together more than one word responses. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt but some pretty girls have no social skills. But you can't know until you try.

BossThe2nd · Answer

Men prefer reserved women regardless of appearance.
Outgoing women are only preferred on the grounds of coming across as easy, but they are not preferred in the long term.

Ultimately, what a man wants is to feel special by getting with a woman who denies other males.

Pnp4unMe · Answer

I guess i approach both. It doesn't matter to me, they look like they'd be fun to be with? I ask. Plain and simple. Women are mot aliens. They're our sisters aunts mothers and daughters. They're people. Not ""mysterious creatures that can't be figured out"". Have you ever considered they are feeling the same way you are?

libsaretards · Answer

Both would be equal in my eyes. If I see a woman who catches my attention, I observe her actions to see if she is someone I want to approach. I'll probably approach the quieter girl (the one in this example that is labeled as more pretty) first just to keep her company. I do not like seeing people being lonely. If she gives me any indication she wants to be alone then I'll leave.

Floppy2112 · Answer

Men don't require 'hot'. Cute is good enough. And cute to one may not be cute to another. I just have to be attracted to the person. She doesn't have to be a knockout. And I will take the cute, nice, pleasant, sweet girl over an entitled knockout any day of the week.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

neither of these sound attractive.
I would want:
1. Smiles a lot when enjoying herself
2. Friendly to friends and strangers who approach her.
3. Passionate hedonist.
4. Doesn't initiate talk unless she is interested in a topic or has a question, and generally not very social outside her best friends.
5. Not as many friends.
6. Has specific hobbies and skills.
7. Is attractive

Anonymous · Answer

That's not how guys work.

Guys who have the guts to ask a girl out, will flirt with a girl if they like her, regardless of how attractive she is. (Cowards and shy guys don't apply to this answer.)

Then if she responds to flirting with any sort of positive reciprocation that he can detect, he may pursue that and her.

A guy will go after the best girl he thinks he can get. If a girl is so shy she doesn't respond to his flirting, he's not going to waste his time on her.

KoolKid66 · Answer

Let's jus say I've never approached a girl in my life... There was this really cute pretty and shy girl I always to approach or say hi... But didn't have the balls... Tho... A average looking girl seems less scary and frightening... So I'd probably be more inclined to approach a average girl... Even tho I'd prefer to approach the hot girl...

crazy8000 · Answer

When it comes to behavior. it's a interesting behavior.
What is most common and many aren't honest about it is that average since beauty tends to make a lot of people question a lot of thing's. like if they are good enough in some way or that the person in question think the other one is taken.

An other thing are, beauty is relative.

sensible27 · Answer

My type is shy but depends on what someone is talketive about, if someone talks about super interesting things that's the way. I have realised super kind, beautiful people are too rare to judge on looks..

m33lad · Answer

I used to, now I challnage myself to go for hotter and hotter ones.
And I tell them do guys approach you. They usually say no they just act creepy and stare at me.
I say wow!
But when most guys approach attractive girls they kiss up to them.
I talk to them like she’s one of my male friends.

spartan55 · Answer

I don't know how you are coming up with your theory. Doesn't matter if she looks great, the top 5% best looking guy won't bother either. Why? Because there plenty of hot chicks in line that AREN'T lame wet blankets.

Are men more likely to approach a woman who is average looking but outgoing or good looking but shy?

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