Guy said he doesn't deserve love, should I stay with him?

[Anonymous]

Is this low self esteem or something bigger?

[NewgodX]

If he says he don't want love then leave him there is no point then
After my parents died when I was not 18 and my marriage that lasted less then 3 months I banned all females for life
I do say that I am not looking for love if a female sympathize with me I give her a clear answer I don't want a female in my life coz I don't see anything wrong with being alone for life,,
It's a good thing females don't show any romantic interest in me only sympathetic feelings which is something I am OK with,
It's his choice whether he wants to keep love in his life or not, if he tells you to leave don't agree and create more mess just leave him alone, he will be OK

[AdithyaR]

If he genuinely means that, it's way more than just low self esteem. It could signs of past trauma. He should see a therapist. Staying with him is totally your choice, you won't be the bad guy if you leave cause you're not obligated to stay and try to fix him. But if you do stay, make sure you don't drain yourself trying to help him.

[snowgirl123]

well, has he told you why he does not deserve love? for me there are three reasons why he said this: extreme low self esteem, feelings of guilt because he is a bad person or he did something wrong, or maybe he's just trying to send you away but wants to play the victim not to have a bad reputation among people. people do this you know, they say "well, it is not you, it's me."unfortunately this happens when there is no interest of them in us and they want to seem nice to us and to others.

you should try to talk to him, so you can figure out.

[lilyanony1]

If be curious to know the reason why he said that but sometimes that's the trap.
I may sound real cold hearted here but I'd need him to elaborate on that. If he knows why and can tell me depending on what he says I may stay.
But in many cases that's a warning to walk before you get in too deep.
Take it and run.

[abc3643]

No. Trust me on this from personal experience.
Sometimes when you're on the Titanic, you have to get on the lifeboat before trying to save another passenger because, if you do, you both end up drowning.
"Save yourself" as Stabbing Westward would sing...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NZsCYOM4j0

[JSmuve]

... and this is why guys should never open up to women about how they feel. They see it as a warning sign to leave you. Guy says he doesn't deserve love and your first instinct is to prove him right. How sad but unsurprising.

[VanillaSalt]

This right here!

[Asker]

It's not what I meant but I see your point though. He has told me something about his past and it makes sense now

[midnightmoon05]

Can you elaborate your question?

[InferiorElegy]

Your post is a good reason for me to be happy about not being able to date. Why do females always leave when a guy loses his job or shows emotions and let's known his feelings and they don't see anything wrong with that but if a guy did that to a girl he's an asshole or whatever. Man I don't want to be a part of the world anymore.

[Nazgol]

Even if he has good reasons why would you want to deal with that kind of insecurity & negativity? He should shine bright like the sun and project a positive energy. He means it probably, listen to him. Maybe he will hurt you or something down the road..

[VanillaSalt]

While I agree what does this mean for people like him? You argue oh he’s not confident and bright enough. He’s suffering and in pain. I don’t need this in my life so ima just distance myself from his suffering so he can suffer and die alone…

This seems far too cruel. Honestly this comments exactly why I think humanities ran its course and should just die. Who cares about the suffering of others I only care about what benefits me.

[Nazgol]

@VanillaSalt no, you didn't get the point. He's essentially telling her in a polite way that he will hurt her can't make her happy & that she probably deserves better. What so wrong about accepting that? Isn't it dumb to deliberately still go after someone like that

[VanillaSalt]

So your using female logic to something a man said? Sounds to me like he’s suffering and had a hard life and just wants to feel worthy. A weak man to be sure but also a fairly common feeling amongst men.

I think that women would cave after being a man for a few weeks.

[Lynx122]

Definitely a big problem. There can always be doubts and problems. But saying you don't deserve love is quite a extreme statement. I don't know what the reason is but I'd accept it and move on.

[apokolips]

Gentlemen, this is why you shouldn't be "emotionally available" to your girlfriend. She'll lose arousal for you. If you wanna be vulnerable, go to your male friends!

[Sincerly_KittyCat]

If I heard that I wouldn't waste my time persuing him if we werent a couple. However if we were a couple i would support him as much as I can, once it doesn't negatively affects me.

[tee_64]

Deep rooted issues past unresolved trauma you can't fix him being with him will only cause you trouble

[jshm2]

Is he clinically depressed?

If not, then it could be self criticism and he's trying to make you feel better about yourself.

[MelissaMarie9614]

He definitely has a low self esteem and needs some reassurance. Show him what it feels like to be loved and feel loved.

[Simply_M3]

Sounds like he's regretting something, something that you should be concerned about!

[Dratchild]

Sounds like a lot of issues with the poor guy. Give him what support you can, but if it's too much for you, don't feel bad for moving on. Maybe get him on therapy?

[t-8900]

message me? will explain somethings to you if you want to get some incite.

[rienna888]

You should be like “you really don’t” then leave. Lol joke maybe he just want you to tell him otherwise.

[Sincerly_KittyCat]

Lol 😂🤣

[exitseven]

Maybe he just wants to hear somebody tell him that the does deserve love.

[JosyJosy]

If you love him yes. If you don't no. Simple as that

[FilmGuy93]

Low self-esteem never leads anywhere good. The guy is showing you who he is; believe him.

[siegetiming]

I thought guys with low self esteem couldn't get girlfri-- do you see why getting a girlfriend is frustrating?

[whosnumber1]

warning bells. if you can't learn why he feels this way run

[Babygirl_S]

Yes he has a low self-esteem. No one should feel that way unless they're a criminal.