- 371 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
+1 yThank him for the compliment of appreciating you, and feel good about yourself for as long as it lasts.
On the serious side, I have only ever seen a total of four reasons being behind a guy saying that to a girl, while he is in a committed relationship:
1) He is using that as a way to try to talk you into having sex with him.
2) He is indulging in a bout of escapism - exaggerating his emotions/feelings to help fool himself more than you, and is hoping you will engage in a few hours of pretend, which will serve as a comforting respite, from the work and home banalities, which slowing wear on him every day.
3) He is looking to bail out of his marriage/relationship, and wants to be sure he has options - so he tests the waters by coaxing out your reaction to his admission of long-term affection.
4) He is having a crisis of confidence, and is taking refuge in a long-term acquaintance, betting that his saying that to you, will result in you either returning the sentiment, or at least being overwhelmed with appreciation that a man a cool as him would dane to throw affection and/or attention your way. He wants his ego stroked, basically. He wants to know that he is still desirable enough, at his current station in life.
This often will happen as a married man enters that age range of 28 to 40. He is longing for the fun and free times of late teens and early twenties, terrified that he is missing out on any slight chance to feel that way again, before turning into an 'old man.' In a way, he is kind of having a first-stage, miniature, mid-life crisis... If he were 50, he'd get a sports car and try to fuck the babysitter.
Sure, there are combinations, and tiny nuances to each person's individual situation, but unless you are just SO damn cute, that men can help but say anything in profession of their admiration... and, if you are, I'd love to see for myself.
But, in all seriousness, just thank him, say "Oh, I never knew!", and move on in your own path. Don't ever forget, that any man who will try to start a romantic or emotional relationship, while he's committed to another woman, is not a real-man... but just another over-grown boy - who is now proving it to you, by confessing that to you, knowing full well it is something he should keep to himself (for all of your sakes), and being so willfully disrespectful of his current relationship. Remember; if he cheats on his girl with you, he's going to 100% do it to you, as well.14 Reply
Asker+1 yI only just starting talking to him after his engagement. He looks happy online with her and he seems good friends with her brother so no idea what's going
- +1 y
Oh, I'm sorry... I didn't know he said it casually. That's my fault for making the assumption. While what I wrote previously, is correct (in my opinion), it is only applicable when the guy says that type of thing, in a serious/dramatic context.
In THIS case, now, I would not consider the possibilities I had laid-out. Rather, I would say, that him saying that to you, is a nice thing - that a nice person would do. I would, of course, suggest you still thank him for telling you, and for the compliment, and also go ahead and enjoy that little extra pep-in-your-step. Go for you, Honey!
What it indicates, to me, is that he is precisely what you said above; He is happy. He is probably (after a long while) happy with his relationship, and actually content with life, at this time. Being that way, when it hasn't been the case throughout most of a man's life, is not simply a great feeling, but also quite freeing - which makes a man feel much better and confident about showing/sharing his emotions. Basically, I think he is genuinely happy, and has finally shed the bullshit immature behaviors, that hold guys back from telling others about his feelings.
Show me a happy man who is content with his life, and I'll bet you any sum that he no longer cares what other people think.
What should you do about it? Nothing. Be glad he is doing well, and cares enough about you to tell you the truth, especially unsolicited! You are probably a nice girl, in that case, and he probably values your friendship. Knowing this, I'd say you are probably quite a catch, yourself, Sweetheart!
So, just enjoy this. Him telling you such a thing, in such a way, conveys more compliments than one might suppose. So... congratulations!
Asker+1 yI disagree what you just said... he said he has had always had feeling for even to this date. After he proposed he asked for naughty pictures and wanted to meet up in a hotel this summer
- +1 y
Oh... That pictures thing... no good. I hereby reinstate my original opinion.
Most Helpful Opinions
+1 yYou tell him he is already committed to someone else and you will NOT be a party to busting up his coming marriage. If he is not ready to commit to his fiancee, then he has no business being engaged! He needs to make up his mind what he wants. And... if he breaks up with his fiancee because he has feelings for you, think carefully before you date him or have anything to do with him. What makes you think he wouldn't do the same thing to you when the next beautiful girl crosses his path? A guy who will cheat on one woman will cheat on another. He is a bad risk for a relationship, to say nothing of a marriage!
01 Reply
Asker+1 yI starting talking to him when he was already proposed
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yUnfortunately, nothing. Probably stop talking to him.
I had a similar situation once. I went to high school with this guy and he and I were very close friends. We had a few misses over the years, where we'd try to get together but it just never actually worked out.
Fast forward to our mid 20s and he was engaged. One day, he texted me saying that he will always wonder what might have been between us and that he couldn't stop thinking about it. I was mad. I'd had feelings for him all those years and he never really said anything until it was too late. I told him that if he honestly felt that way, he had no business getting married. He asked me to come see him. I declined. I refused to be THAT girl. He asked if he were to call off his engagement, if we could give it another shot. I said no. I said if he was having doubts, then he should call off the marriage for himself but not to do it for me. Anyway, he married the girl and got divorced 7 years later. He tried starting things up with me again, and it still didn't work out. We were just not meant to be. If we were, he would've chosen me from the very beginning. I don't know if this is the same for your situation, but I do know that interfering with his engaging is not the way to go.00 Reply
+1 yGently scold him and tell him he should know better. Tell him you're not interested and that his queen deserves better.
Maybe I'm naive but I do think that engaged folks go through a phase and that most 'get over themselves.'
From the age of 16 we're taught to covet attention and opportunity from the other gender. For some, you can know you've found the one, but also not like the reality of being told "all that dating rules stuff, throw it out the window."
It's almost the couples that date the longest, that struggle the most with this life stage leveling up.00 Reply
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
36Opinion
+1 yStay away from him. He is bad news. It's likely that he has cold feet about his engagement and is looking at all of his options, or that he is simply the type who cannot stay loyal.
Also keep in mind that everyone here is right when they say, if he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you. Do not expect to be the "special" or "different" one, as they will tell any woman that; it's bullshit and it means nothing. Guys like this have a habit of repeating this behavior, too.
What would likely happen if you pursued him is that he'd have his fun with you for awhile and go back to his fiancée, or he'd eventually cheat on you with someone else.
Not to mention that it's not right to interfere in anyone's relationship, and you don't want to be in the middle of the drama that will unfold once the shit hits the fan between him and her. Just leave him alone and find someone who is not in a relationship.20 Reply663 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Maybe he always liked you but never had the courage to say anything and he wanted to know how you felt before he goes through his marriage.
Seems messed up for him to be marrying someone if he knows he likes someone else more. A person should only marry someone when that person is the most important person to them and they wouldn't rather have anyone else.11 Reply
Asker+1 yIt's definitely crazy for him to be saying that at this stage. I guess I came back in the picture in the middle of it
+1 yYou stay away... One, if he really had feelings for you, why's he engaged to someone else?
And if you say because you weren't available, well then wouldn't that make him a shitty person getting engaged to someone he doesn't really love?
There's three people in this equation, not just two...
Bigger question is why do you care if he has feelings for you if he's ENGAGED?310 Reply- +1 y
Per your update, is he the one obsessed/has the feelings, or are you. Didn't say it before, but you post this same question a lot... I could go back to my opinions and link every post you've posted about this, but to quote my lazy daughter "that's doing too much"... Let it go man, accept he's with someone else... If he was meant to be yours, he would be... Don't destroy a woman's life not to mention the life of the child she's carrying... Don't matter the words, actions speak louder, and if this man REALLY loved you, he wouldn't be about to marry and have a family with someone else.. Please let it go, you'll find yours, just not with him. Wish you luck🙏😘
Asker+1 yI've actually ignored him before and he's the one that stalked my Facebook and when I readded him back on my social that's when he confessed his feelings asking if I was single... getting jealous with the guys I'm talking with 🤷♀️
- +1 y
Yet you KEEP posting this. Sorry not sorry, you're the one that sounds like you can't let go... And ummm, I'm technology stupid, but uhh isn't there a way to block someone if you really don't want them to be able to contact you❓⁉️ Just saying🤷 again, why don't you think about HER and that unborn child? Find someone else
Asker+1 yClearly he's not thinking about his situation either so 🤷♀️
Asker+1 yIf he was happy he wouldn't of been trying to hit me up literally a week after he proposed 🤣🤣 only getting married to show off know Facebook he has his "shit together"
Asker+1 yGood luck his marriage will fail in a few years anyway that's when I'll just laugh
- +1 y
Bitter much? How sad you wish someone else to fail.. What does that say about you🤷 again who's the one obsessing.. Sounds like he's getting on with life, while you whining about it online
Asker+1 ySay what you want tbh 🤷 you Don know the full detailed story
- +1 y
Don't need to.. You're not only lying to others, you're lying to yourself.. You're the one that's gonna get hurt in the long run. Obsession isn't healthy, say it's not that but again the face you've been posting this same question for months says otherwise...
Move on, not just because he's already taken, but because you should want better for yourself, know you deserve better. Unless you're encouraging a man you know is taken/expecting a baby, then you deserve what you get🤷
Asker+1 yYeah you are right maybe I was just bored with the covid thing and got silly. Thanks for knocking sense into me
+1 yHe’s engaged to her for a reason. Obviously. That’s so disgusting of him to even say something like that. His heart isn’t in the right place. You shouldn’t feel mixed up. Who he truly is, is sooo plain and simple. He’s an Anus. Want better for yourself. As a woman, you should let her know. As a woman, we should protect eachother from men like that.
10 Reply
+1 yStay the hell away from him. Don't be 'the other woman' and if he's willing to act on those feelings with you, he will act on those feelings on you. If he hasn't acted on them yet, just keep your distance and they hardest part, don't even entertain it.
10 ReplyWhen you both be engaged he will tell the same thing to another woman…
11 Reply
Asker+1 yYes you are probably right there
1.6K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. I better go to bed; I first read that as "an enlarged man".
11 Reply
Asker+1 y🤣🤣
+1 yIf you catch him ready to cheat on someone else he will probably cheat on you
33 Reply- +1 y
Very true, and I wish more people understood this. I've known a few people who have had affairs with married/otherwise taken people under the guise of "they promised they're going to leave their spouse for me", and it has ALWAYS come back to bite them in the ass. They either go back to their spouse, or end up doing the same thing to the new person and cheat on them. The sad thing is, most people believe it when these types of people tell them they're "different" or "special". That's what they've most likely told everyone else they've pulled this on, too! Not to mention it's a huge sign of a lack of character and morals for someone to cheat on their partner.
- +1 y
@aWes0MeNeSs Well said, aWes0MeNeSs!
- +1 y
@Keyboardkat Thank you!
Run. He will cheat on you too, and even if he doesn't you will think he will. Trust will never be there
17 Reply
Asker+1 yWhy did he propose if he wasn't sure
Asker+1 yWho knows? Weird how he would confess feelings at this stage in the game
Asker+1 yHe shouldn't of said anything then
Asker+1 yEverytime I dissapear he comes back
Don’t act on it. He’s trash and you’d be too if you went along with it. I was trash before, so don’t be part of the club. It’s not a good one to be in. It’ll bite you later.
017 Reply
Asker+1 yI agree, I didn't expect him to say it though I only rekindled with him recently.
Asker+1 yHe looks really happy online with her and he hangs around with her brother so it's weird didn't expect him to say it
Asker+1 yIt is he shouldn't of said anything because I'm all mixed up
Asker+1 yI'm 29 now I'm just getting settled back into the UK after living abroad for a few years. Right now all I can do is focus on securing a grad job at the moment
Asker+1 yAbsolutely is weird he stalked me for months it was me that reached out to him because I was so curious
Asker+1 yWhy is that
Asker+1 yI know 🙈 I honeslty can't put my finger on what is going on. I just looked on his Facebook and he looks happy with her and hanging around with her brother
Asker+1 yOh it seems like ge doesn't care at all about her deep down tgen
Sounds like something from a movie. You shouldn't encourage it because he is engaged- he has promised another woman his heart. He could do the same to you as well. He's probably confused and stressed because that's a big step in life.
00 Reply
+1 yRegardless of if he is engaged or not…. He has the guts to tell you and you either feel the same or you dont. If you do… go for it. If you dont, be a friend and tell to leave his fiancé
00 Reply- 3.3K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
+1 yIf he's only engaged, then that means there's still time to call off the wedding.
But was he saying that just as a passing comment, or was he saying that because he wants to do something about it?021 Reply
Asker+1 yHe basically said one day to me he's always had feelings for me.
- +1 y
Yes, but the question is is he talking about the past... or the future?
Asker+1 yMeaning since then and now
- +1 y
So you're saying he likes you currently?
So WTF does he want? Is he trying to see if you like him back so he can break up with his fiancee? (Which is kind of fucked up, in my opinion. But I digress.)
Asker+1 yI honestly don't know and he's been asking for naughty pictures
- +1 y
Definitely do not give him any photos.
- +1 y
Personally, I wouldn't even talk to him anymore if that's the way he's behaving. That's really trashy.
- +1 y
She's PREGNANT? Oh, HAIL no! F that guy! He's a giant turd!!!
Asker+1 yIt's mega fucked what is he doing?
- +1 y
That is the question, isn't it?
Asker+1 yCan't put my finger on it 🤷♀️
- +1 y
Sorry; my response was rhetorical.
- +1 y
In any case, he's f*ckin' up.
Asker+1 yGood luck to the girl who's pregnant with him
- +1 y
Indeed. Good luck! I hope he finds Jesus or something. Because otherwise that marriage is NOT going to last.
Asker+1 yI know why even bother getting married probably just so he can show off that he has his "shit together" on Facebook
- +1 y
I have no clue what his intentions are there.
Asker+1 yI should just dissapear tbh
- +1 y
Yeah. Pretty much.
- +1 y
I mean from him. Not from everyone. Lol
Asker+1 yYes just him haha
+1 yTell him to piss off, because he's practically married. If you bite, then you can't complain when your husband cheats during your engagement.
10 Reply- 762 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
+1 yAsk him how his fiancée feels about his feelings for you. Then let him know he's an asshole.
07 Reply
Asker+1 yHe looks happy online with her and he hangs with their family aswell why would he say this
- +1 y
Because... he's an asshole. (sorry)
There really isn't any other possible explanation. It's 100% because he's an asshole. - +1 y
in regards to your update: Alright, so his fiancée is also pregnant. Again, I ask you: Did you tell him he's an asshole yet, or what?
Asker+1 yHaha i should it's all nuts
- +1 y
No really. You should. Because he's an asshole. Of course it's all nuts. That's what happens when an asshole gets engaged to his pregnant girlfriend and then tells another girl that he's always had feelings for her. That's going to be ALL nuts. And that dude needs to be told by the girl 'he's always had feelings for' that he's an asshole. Because he's an asshole. You need to get on that. I'm being totally serious.
Asker+1 yI know how dare he mess me about like this
- +1 y
Exactly. You should let him know that's how you feel.
if he tells you that, it means its engagement will come to an end soon. If he is still engaged, that means he's is lying to you.
00 Reply
+1 yYou have to stop the wedding. Show up in a white dress to his wedding and when they ask if anyone objects, that’s where you say you love him back. This works better if you are a bridesmaid, though.
07 Reply
Asker+1 y🤣🤣 imagine that eh
- +1 y
Have someone record it too. It’ll make a really good TikTok.
- +1 y
@mangospacho that is so true lol
- +1 y
This sounds like a classy, classy guy. I cannot possibly see why you would break up with a guy like this.
Asker+1 yI should step back from this mess you ate absolutely rjght
- +1 y
You know he’s probably been cheating on her already or will later on.
Asker+1 yNot worth it considering there is far hotter guys that won't pull this crap
Tell him to settle his shit out before dragging you into it.
20 ReplyIf he do have a feeling for you. He should have told you before getting engaged.
07 Reply
Asker+1 yI started talking to him again after he proposed those
Asker+1 yQuite a crazy thing to say
Asker+1 yI guess people don't really think through with their decisions
- +1 y
@Arsh01 Good advice here... the classic tale of guy with girl... guy starts up with 2nd girl... guy leaves girl for 2nd girl... 2nd girl fools herself into believing guy only did all the other stuff because he didn't truly love the others, but he does really love her.
2nd then becomes one of the others, when guy meets 3rd girl.
Has this tale ever ended happy for anyone, like ever?
Asker+1 ySo he will just continue what he's doing currently with his girlfriend
You should probably step away. There is nothing good that will come from exploring that further.
11 Reply
Asker+1 yI wish he never said anything I'm all mixed up
376 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Let me guess, the bad boy will get what he wants? Marry a woman and have a mistress. If you go for him, you'll have a world of hurt. You don't want to be hurt? Stay away from this a-hole. Once a cheater, always à cheater.
00 Reply
+1 yWalk away and avoid him. If he isn’t loyal to his fiancee he won’t be loyal to you either
21 Reply- +1 y
@Asker what are you going to do?
+1 yI hope they save money to pay for the divorce and probably child support.
00 Reply
+1 yWhat do you think he also tells his fiancée?
Lies.00 ReplyTell him to save his fiance some heartache and don't marry her because he's a ass hole and shouldn't be thinking about any woman
07 Reply
Asker+1 yNot saying he should of chose me but why did he propose why not be alone until you get someone you really like
Asker+1 yI guess he's in top deep to come out of it now tho
Asker+1 yHe says that but looks happy online with her and he hanga around with her family...
Asker+1 yBut why how long can he pretend
Tell him you would like to see the ring that proves it.
21 Reply
+1 yIs that her you’re very unattractive fat out of shape a very skinny or doors guys are simply extremely weak and feminine
01 Reply
Asker+1 yHuh that doesn't read right
+1 yDo whatever it is you want to do. Live in the moment, and accept everything for what it is.
05 Reply
Asker+1 yI only starting talking to him after his engagement and he also seems happy online with her
- +1 y
LOL Everybody is happy online. Its pretty crazy he told you that after the engagement. Actually it sounds like he just wants to play a little or maybe. I can't really speak for the guy. But you can do whatever it is you want as long as you truly okay with it. Life is an experience and there is no wrong or right choices. Just life.
Asker+1 yI've already ignored him and apparently he kept stalking my social media page. Why does he care so much and getting jealous
- +1 y
Those are red flags for sure. I would definitely talk to em and ask him what's up. Thats super weird, or just keep ignoring him. People are crazy these days. You can't say hi to everyone. Mental health is serious.
Asker+1 yAbsolutely right some people are just mad
+1 yDo not get involved with him. Think of how the woman he is engaged to would feel when he cheats on her with you.
03 Reply
Asker+1 yI recently rekindled with him last year and he was already engaged by the point. I had no idea he would confess this to me when he's about to get locked down with somone else
- +1 y
Honestly I am 14 that is just my opinion. Do whatever you want to do
Asker+1 yHe seems so happy with her online and is good friends with her brother so it's a little strange
Anonymous(30-35)+1 yYou already know the answer to this.
Don't be a fucking idiot.12 Reply
Asker+1 yI actually don't he seems so happy online and he seems to hang around with her brother a lot tbh I'm quite surprised
Opinion Owner+1 yIf you truly don't know the answer then you are a sad excuse for a human being.
Ask him why he throws this at your feet right now. Also do you have feelings for him?
Would you care to give your opinion on my last question? Thanksi00 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yNothing. You do absolutely nothing. Dont be the girl that destroys another relationship.
01 Reply
Asker+1 yHe'll just get someone else anyway... the relationship won't last 🤣
Watch out because he's looking for different options after he already proposed to someone else!
00 ReplyNever trust a man like that! Never make that mistake!
11 Reply
+1 yRemind him he’s engaged and to back off
12 Reply
Asker+1 yI honeslty thought when you are engaged normally you are crazy mad for that person and not others
- +1 y
Yes unless you are a fuckwit.
Tell him to bugger off
362 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Shut it down and not encourage any interaction.
10 Reply788 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Nothing if don't have feelings for him.
00 Reply- 12.5K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
+1 yTell him to get lost.
06 Reply
Asker+1 yWhy doesn't he just be alone and wait for someone he really likes
- +1 y
He’s hooked on you for some reasn.
Asker+1 yIt's crazy because it seems like he's happy with her on Facebook and he hangs around with their family
- +1 y
So what? He’s a snake.
Asker+1 yHe shouldn't of said anything because I'm all mixed up now
- +1 y
Then unfix it.
Nothing. He's engaged.
02 Reply
Asker+1 yCrazy thing to say when you are marrying someone else tho
+1 yTell that cheater you will let his fiancé know
00 Reply
+1 yThen why is he still engaged to someone else?
00 Reply- 1.3K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
+1 yIgnore that disparage
00 Reply
+1 yWhy do you affiliate with a married man?
00 Reply
+1 yThats his problem, not yours.
01 Reply
Asker+1 yI only just talked to him a month after his engagement
+1 yWhat do you want to do
02 Reply
Asker+1 yHe seems so happy online with her and seems good friends with her brother
- +1 y
Would you want to be a side piece
344 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Tell his fiancee
18 Reply
Asker+1 yHe did before she was pregnant
- +1 y
Understandable? Y’all are scaring me with these comments
- +1 y
It’s not okay for anyone to cheat no matter the circumstances and it’s never understandable either unless they were drugged or something
Asker+1 yHe seems like a bad guy. She probably knows he's cheating
- +1 y
That situation sucks
- +1 y
Poor woman
- 964 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
+1 yget away from him
23 Reply
Asker+1 yWhy would he say that now
- +1 y
Asker, perhaps he is having cold feet about his engagement and is hitting the brakes on that. Whatever the case, getting involved with a taken man is never a good choice, so I'd stay back.
Asker+1 yApparently he was stalking my Facebook when I went away from him for a few weeks
+1 yStay clear of him!
01 Reply
Asker+1 yYes I should quite a crazy thing to say tho
Onk, onk
10 ReplyFuck his fiancée
00 ReplyJust ignore
02 Reply
Asker+1 yI talked to him a few weeks after his engagement
Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 yIgnore him.
00 ReplyRun Away.
01 Reply
Asker+1 yWhy would he say it if he looks happy online with her and her family
Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 yshow him your boobs
00 Reply
Why would a engaged man confess his love for me what should I do?
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