So why is he not answering my question?

[sd1223]

So I texted my ex to ask him what about me was a disconnect for him. Basically he told me he’d been seeing this other girl for awhile and saying how he feels about her and this that and the other. I thought him and I were getting back on the right path especially since I was moving. I had no idea about this girl until he came out and told me about her. Well I asked him what the disconnect was about me. I told him maybe it’s something I need to work on for the next person. I told him I was curious as to where things went wrong. Him and I y’all have to understand have been talking for most of this year, he was excited about me moving closer like I was. So when all this came out I felt blindsided. I thought it was going to be me and him. But I don’t understand why he just said no. Like he doesn’t want to answer my question. I don’t think he just woke up one day and wanted to talk to someone else, I feel like something happened at some point. But what does his response mean?

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

He could be trying to be nice, but it sounds like he honestly just decided he wanted to be with her.

Maybe they just got along better. Maybe it was more convenient. We don't really get to choose who we love. Maybe she's just easier.

Don't assume it has to be something you did wrong. You could do everything right and there's no guarantee he would pick you. Some people just have short attention spans and don't stay with anyone.

If I had to guess, it wasn't anything you did. The answer to your question is that he couldn't be with two people at once and he decided to be with her. It sounds like he liked you, but for whatever reason he just liked her more.

It sucks. But at least he was honest about it instead of leading you on.

[sd1223]

I suppose so. I did ask him if he started seeing her because I could never come when he wanted and he said yes and no. Yes meaning he did want me to come and then no because it wasn’t that big of a deal. Then he did tell me not think it’s something wrong with me that something can be wrong with him. I thought it was something I did because this isn’t the first time someone else was picked over me I dealt with this same thing 3 years ago with another guy.

[sd1223]

I just feel like my time was wasted. I was really was excited for us to be in the same city and thought maybe we would get back together but it’s a lost cause now.

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

Call it his loss. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong to me.

You don't want someone who isn't faithful one way or another. Find someone who will pick you and put you first.

Maybe it was a waste of time, but that's no reason to keep doing it.

[NetSapien]

I think.. he's been talking to you two pieces simultaneously. The fact that you were now moving closer meant that now both of you were probably gonna overlap.

I don't think there's anything for you to find thinking you did something wrong or right. If I'm correct, he did you a favor. The responses he was given you feel more evasive than anything else.

[sd1223]

But why he be evasive about it?

[NetSapien]

Because he's trying to distance himself from you as best as possible.

If it's so that "he’d been seeing this other girl for awhile" and has an ongoing relationship with you, you moving closer means that both you girls will eventually come across each other.

You have the answer to your root of the problem in the second sentence "he’d been seeing this other girl for awhile and saying how he feels about her". Due to your distance, she likely hangs around him more than you do. Maybe they even have a longer history together than you 2.

This is why I say he did you the favor. If he's going to regard you with this level of respect as to have two pieces and a time and keep it ongoing and hidden, you're better off with out him and wasting even more of your time.

I do not think you did anything wrong. If anything it's a testament as to how he doesn't value his 'manhood' as much as he should.