Guys, He loves me and wants to keep trying even tho he is anti marriage and I’m not?

[snappysierra]

He seems to like me a lot is always texting with me and communicating we talk a lot throughout the day!

We where talking and I said how I don’t really have sex unless I’m married and he says he is anti marriage but he won’t force me to do anything or change my beliefs.

I asked if he still wants to be with me and he says yes we will try. Why does he still want to try even tho we have different beliefs? I’m happy he does! But usually people leave and I’m confused why he wants to try still? I’m scared that what if he is lonely or just wanting to date anyone so he wants to try with me because I’m his only option?

[Anonymous]

He is likely saying he will work on your relationship because he is hoping he can eventually convince you to stay in a relationship with him and not expect him to marry you. There is a high possibility he wants to change your mind about marriage and wants you to be okay with him not fully committing to you. It is up to you to decide whether you are okay with being in a relationship where you never move forward or fully commit to one another through marriage. If never getting married is a deal breaker for you, the only thing you can really do is split up unless one of you changes your mind, which is unlikely. If you are okay with a relationship where you never fully commit through marriage, than you can continue with the relationship like you have been. If commitment and marriage is very important to you, there are bound to be a lot of issues in your relationship in the future over this huge disagreement. At the end of the day, it is up to you to decide what you want to do. I would use suggest that you really think about it and decide whether your difference in values is a deal breaker or not.

[snappysierra]

What if he had a bad childhood because he told me how his father cheated on his mom and got another girl pregnant. Would that have anything to do with it?

[HighValue]

Offer to sign a prenuptial agreement where he will get to keep all of his assets/income/vehicles/home/etc. and not pay any alimony.

Risking losing financially is the primary reason I don't want marriage, and I am sure that is the reason most of the men that don't want marriage are against it too.

[Adam1978]

That doesn't mean you can't live a long life together unmarried. Just because your not against marriage since you aren't probably not the losing party if it's not working out. Doesn't mean you must get married. Leave the government out of the relationship. And it can work out just fine.

[Jay13496]

Marriage is definitely not primarily just because of being in a relationship legally and financially. Marriage for most people is about a much stronger and more permanent relationship. It means you promised to be in a committed relationship with only your spouse and that you are a team who will do things together. If my significant other did not want to fully commit to me and get married, that would be a deal breaker and I would not continue the relationship. If you know your relationship will never move forward and your significant other has commitment issues, most people would either break up or stay in an unhappy relationship with a lot of issues. Marriage is about a better relationship, not government benefits. The only people who marry for financial benefits are people who don't care about one another, typically those in arranged marriages.

[Adam1978]

You can do all that without the government, like he said he is willing to keep trying. Marriage has become a way to backstab your partner with a divorse. No marriage means no divorse. Everything else can still be accomplished with your partner. Your shared resources should be used to raise a family not to better the other life after the relationship has ended. Ie benefits should end when the relationship ends for both parties.

[Jay13496]

If you don't want to get married because you are afraid of divorce, that shows you have trust issues and do not fully believe your relationship with your significant other will work out. Relationships where couples fully trust and commit to one another come with risks. Marriage is about being willing to take those risks for the right person because you believe in your relationship and are certain it will last forever. I agree that divorced people should each take the money they earn from their individual jobs and split the cost of all possessions they both owned during the marriage. I also do not think divorced spouses should get any of the money you earned after the divorce, especially if one cheated. However, people who are secure and confident about there relationship would not be focused on divorce because they have complete faith their marriage will never end in divorce. Instead, close and committed couples would be thinking about how happy they are to be spending the rest of their life married to the person they love.

[Adam1978]

No it doesn't. It means you don't want to take a unecissary risk. Because there is no gain at all. It's like taking part in a Russian roulette. It's just stupid. You know that bullet will go off, the statistics says it will. You just don't know in which round it will. Same goes with weddings they don't last anylonger, statistics clearly says so if you have resources you will lose them. Why gamble them if you don't need to. And if she isn't after the resources there is no reason what so ever to have a contract for them.

[slatyb]

If you want to be married then he’s not the man for you. You have to stop seeing him so you can meet a man that shares your goals.

[LegendaryIcon]

So, how do you know you're boyfriend girlfriend, if you "haven't had sex yet"

It just sounds like you two just wanted to be friends with benefits. And yes, you can be friends with benefits, without sex... it's everything but

[In_Trance]

i don't see the endgame on this one. It seems pointless

[snappysierra]

What do you mean can you explain so more?

[In_Trance]

You don't see eye to eye with him...

[snappysierra]

Can you give me advice on what I can do?

[In_Trance]

Again, i see no endgame. Go your own ways and find what you're really looking for.