There are always kinds of pros to this.
The pro to this is you can come across as submission because you just don't speak unless spoken to you. Somebody might like that.
The problem with that is that it can get kind of boring if they're looking to get their mind stimulated and you don't say nothing.
That shows up not just in relationships with other guys up with your coworkers and everyone else around you.
I would put a list of a lot of cons and pros, but it'll be too long here, but the way you conduct yourself and how you speak has a lot to do with how you conduct yourself and everything you do. And it could be the very thing that holds you back from accomplishing your dreams and goals.
Sometimes we don't speak because we don't know how to communicate with people and just show me learning skills and practicing makes us good at it and it encourages us to do so and therefore build our confidence. And it also shows up in everything that we do in our relationships and in life. Then you won't be afraid of talking too much. You will have conversations with people and have fun doing so.
I am becoming less shy but its by accident. I think its from experience as you said.
Also yes i am submissive not just look like it so thats good. I love a man to lead.
Yes that is bad because it means that nobody gets to know you.
You end up hiding whatever personality you have by refusing to show it to anyone. Personally, I see this as a bad thing. I do not for a second believe that you don't have anything to say. The problem is, for whatever reason you've gotten used to never saying anything. Being shy is one thing (still not ideal as far as I'm concerned), but this sounds like it's even more than that.
I think that it's good that you're thinking about working on changing this. I think you should. Whatever you may have to say is as important/valuable as anything anybody else has to say. Why should you choose not to express yourself (to anyone!) to such an extreme degree? I hope you start to show the people around you... who you are. 🙂
Thank you. Its funny cause today i just feel a bit less shy and i have no explanation except maybe after reading all these replies , and the fact i even expressed my issue in the OP... I think with more experience being open even just online, its helping me be less scared to do so.
Its helpful to hear that it would benefit me to be less shy. Thanks for being nice too... so many people are jerks when they answer and it makes me not accept whatever message they are trying to impart.
@Nd8wtbdi7d Hey that's freaking awesome!!! I'm so happy to hear that you're feeling a bit less shy! It makes sense to me that expressing yourself (even in this post)... is making you realize... expressing yourself feels good. I think that as you express yourself more, you'll get positive feedback (in terms of how you feel; and how you find interpersonal relationships). After you start to gain confidence, it will (hopefully) become increasingly easier for you to talk to people. It's all about taking 'baby steps' (which is what you're doing here). If you keep taking those little steps to push yourself outside your comfort zone... you're going to find yourself way less shy. I'm so glad that you're working on showing the world who you are. Keep doin what you're doing... you'll be just fine. 🙂
I have been a very shy quiet person my entire childhood. I can guarantee you that people will like you more if you talked a lot versus being mute. Why do you think the most popular folks at work / school tend to be the most outgoing types? Because they try to connect with others.
I used to be mute as a kid. I was forgotten my others , excluded , lonely, I was simply a nobody. when I grew into an adult , I become an extrovert. People loved me
It’s Natural human tendency to like those who say hi and greet you. Most people enjoy small talk because humans are naturally social creatures. By small talking with others , you are being friendly. People like those that are friendly.
Well lucky you. I am late 20sm i dont think i will become an extrovert. I am nice and sweet at least I think so, and have been called sweet, when others talkto me but if others dont start the talks then usually I am extremely quiet. I feel baf but I was also selectively mute growing up and have social anxiety now. I been through a lot in life. Fear. People being mean to me.
there is no one certain way that you should live life. Human come in all forms, shapes, sizes, personalities, characters.
But trust me when I say that you have much much more to gain from the world being outgoing than quiet. It will benefit you professionally, romantically, socially, mentally.
From all my years of experience, popular people are not necessarily more "popular" due to their charisma. Popular people tend to be popular because they advertise themselves more by talking to others and trying to connect with others. Stop thinking that popular people are better, more funny. They are not.
Okay well you said they have a better life in all ways then say theyre not better o. O
i still dont mind being shy. People need to accept others. Its weird you were 'once shy' but now you are putting shy people down as handicapped.
@Nd8wtbdi7d
Hun you have no idea how shyness can impede you from success. Bosses promote those who they personally like , not who gets the job done the best. People with social skills tend to know how to get people to like them. Being good at Small taking , greeting people , being friendly , people skills are what makes others like you
For example if you want to start a business , you don’t have any people skills. Your business will suffer and you will lose customers or clients to your competitors. Customers usually don’t just calls a plumber to fix a sink , they would call a plumber they Really personally like To fix their sink.
Did you know supermarkets can strike deals with manufacturers for discounts (Buying goods at lower price to sell to customers) if they are able to strike rapport with the right people?
If you’re lacking in social skills , real estate / home inspector jobs / sales / public speaking are already out of the question. If you want to be a leader , public speaking will be necessary at some point in life.
Same for networking and making connections with professionals. You must be able to impress other people and make people like you. Shy quiet people who never talk typically do not have this skill.
@Nd8wtbdi7d
Studies also have proven that those with a social life tend to live longer lives.
Extrovert also tend to find it much easier to get dates and get married. Who is more likely to get a man?
The woman who talks to every guy in the office or the girl sitting In the corner never wants to talk to anyone?
I was a quiet shy girl for most of my life. These are the things I’ve learned thus far.
As you can see , social skills are a very necessary part of life if you want to have a successful life.
Do not until you turn 22 to start talking to people. Like I did. Social development comes from very early years of ones life. You can’t make up for it.
I dont see anything wrong with quietness, I am a very quiet person unless i am with my friends. In classes etc i wouldn't say a word unless spoken to or if my friend sits beside me for example.
just be yourself
Yup thats all i can do.
Opinion
44Opinion
My first executive assistant was like this. She did her job correctly and I hated to see her go. She very rarely spoke about personal things and mostly sit in my office and typed etc. She would also ask me what airline I wanted to use and things like a hotel of choice when I traveled. Other than this she stayed quiet. As far as being in a relationship with a female that can't open up and talk to me I consider this to be a red flag! I ask how are you doing etc and get one or two-word answers I will only put up with this for so long! This is also about time. I expect a female to be reserved at first! But, at some point, she must open up or our relationship will not go anywhere. Look, I'm just being honest!
Well she probably might at some point. Just think you never know what trauma someone has to make them that way. Patience is a virtue.
I find it intriguing. It would make me want to get to know you more. I’ve always been attracted to the more shy type. I’m a very protective person, and I’ve always had this sense to get to know the shy person. I used to be very shy towards the opposite sex when growing up. I never wanted to make a girl feel uncomfortable. I loved it when meeting someone who was also shy and when we talked we opened up to one another and could develop a very meaningful relationship. There is nothing wrong with being shy.
That’s me. I literally do not speak to people unless they engage me first. It’s social anxiety, and I have had to live with it all my life. I got myself a customer service job as a teen, and it really did help, but business interactions are different. I have no problem talking to people as a worker or as a customer.
Sadly, my social anxiety has come off as snobby to many people throughout that years.
I’m actually very easy going and have a great sense of humor, but you don’t get to know that until we have met 3 or 4 times.
It sucks. I’d rather be an extrovert
No worries. It takes patince. Patient people are better to be around anway so are you really losing much? I am OP by the way. Just keep expressing yourself more little by little. Asking this question and seeing the replies somehow made me overnight become a little less shy.
there's so less to fear than we think as shy people. Plus when you are yourself more, like expressing yourself more, you won't have to worry inside about every little thing. Life just flows more.
Depends on how extreme it is. If you’re confident and quiet then there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that. I, for one, don’t particularly enjoy being around people who babble nonstop. It gets old and annoying quickly. I know it’s cliché, but relax, have confidence, and be yourself.
She might come off as cold or standoffish to me. I would probably assume she has zero interest in me too. We live in a certain time where things are conducted a certain way now. I dont ever pursue women past a certain point. And if she already doesn't seem interested well I'm not going to embarrass myself like a fool.
Lmfao. Bitchmade.
@Grubhub thats interesting. From what i hear a guy likes a girl more when he can really only look at her while she's not looking and then when she looks at him he quickly looks away (this is also me damn it all)!. Girls tend to star at the guy more. Interesting how it works and I think there is some truth in it for a lot of people.
It makes me more intrigued and interested in getting to know them, to know what’s going on in their mind. In my opinion, quiet women are always the best. I avoid loud, outgoing women who are always talking. For some reason extroverted women make me uncomfortable.
How would I form an opinion about them if they never speak or interact, or barely do. I like quieter types, but at some point they have to talk so I can find out what they're all about. If they won't offer it on their own OR even if asked, all I'm left to think is they have no social skills. Maybe their intelligent, maybe they have a lot to offer, but how am I to know?
@Nu6rxb6d I don't quite understand your comment? Who's the patient person with depth - you or the listener? Just because someone is quiet doesn't mean they're deep. You'd have to say some things at some point to indicate that you are, right? I can be patient with someone who is quiet... to a point. There has to be "something" that's going to keep me interested, and just being silent isn't going to do that.
If you never speak until spoken to how do you expect to be promoted at work to team leadn manger, supervisor etc or what ever else the oosition may be called?
In a relationship it could make the other person feel that it has to be about you first all the time or they always have to start the conversation. That gets old after a while.
At work this is not a problem, you can get promoted for your skills and if you’re liked by (compatible to) your boss and valuable for them. In relationships with a partner it’s good too as it creates mystery and she appears emotionally self-sufficient. The only problem I think is when socializing with friends or going to events alone or as a couple. If a man’s wife doesn’t socialize like other women he needs to socialize double or they both will feel excluded.
@nice-girl thanks girl!
@nice-girl good points. People like to view things so one dimensionally. Its ridiculous. People are individuals as well. I know the OP (my question) is kinda one dimensional but people can chose to be positive or negative. And ignorant idiots chose to leave remarks like the one you are replying to. Its just stupid. As if there is no other quality to a quiet woman than her not talking as much as expected. Or what a boss mightvalue one time or another.
If everyone promoted was a talkative loud mouth, nobody in those meetings would get a word in edgewise. They would all have to hear themselves blabber about stuff Nobody needed to know. What a great workplace. So much work would get done. No.
@Nd8wtbdi7d
I spoke the truth and you end up calling me an ignorant idiot because you could not handle what I said.
It’s weird I remember a girl on the first day I slept with her.
Wouldn’t say much.
I said did you like me having finger in your ass.
She said do whatever you want.
It was like she didn’t care about anything
I said I wanna sleep with your friend and you
She said up to you.
It was weird man.. eventually I got of her holes.
But that was the most strangest girl
You mean introverted, shy or anxious?
The three are not interchangeable as some like to think.
You maybe need to assess if this is why you're not getting ahead in career and life. If you are, then it's nothing to worry about.
Im not. I am slowly being less shy though
I am painfully shy. For about two or more years... I have try to be more open to others. Have gotten meet more people and over all more friendly. But some. ways I regret it. I love the joy that comes from being shy. Your not bothered by so many people on a shallow view and can take time to get have more time to know a person. Being so shy, it's kept some worrisome people away mostly and attract kinder people and a few guys too. To be shy is no shame or harm.
Exactly. there's loud mouth outgoing types at work who just make hot air in any room they are in. Its so draining. They think people need to hear their every thought. One girl i know fits this and she is also such a gossip and nasty fake individual. I would not want her talking to me.
I can respect this
Why talk if you've got nothing to say? I'm sure when you do talk, it's something that's definitely worthy of listening to.
Meek, quiet, submissive women are more likely to be taken advantage of and assaulted. Personally when I see people who are timid like that I really have no interest in spending time with them, no one wants to carry the conversation all of the time.
She thinks silent. Some girls think loud and this is often tiresome if you hear 8 hours long what other person thinks.
Not the most appealing... but heck if she hot she's hot. Some guys find it very seductive... but at some piont she needs contribute more.
Boring, not someone I'd be interested in. You don't have to talk 'non-stop' either. There is plenty of room for a happy medium there.
Kinda annoying tbh. I'm an introvert and I like introverts but I don't like to be around people that can't engage in conversation. I used to be the same as you too until I gained some confidence and learned to be myself out there.
@Nu6rxb6d What does that have to do with being impatient? Having a healthy level of self-confidence is important and your relationships will be shit if you're not able to initiate conversation. You don't put yourself out there and only speak when spoken to, people aren't going to engage with you very much. This is coming from someone that used to be that way myself and had to learn to change.
Women who know when to be silent are a Diamonds in the rough not many of them, therfore VERY valuable and desirable
Short answer, a nightmare.
i really could not handle anyone like that.
would do my head in.
I think it's pretty cute. Some people would say it's bad, and in some ways it can be. It's hard to say, really. But generally speaking, I think it's fine.
What's to think? She hasn't given me anything to think aside from the fact she doesn't want to talk to me.
Whiny males are such bitchmade weirdos
@Nd8wtbdi7d Meh... it's more about trying to be responsive to her behavior than being whiny. If I try talking to someone and they are giving me short replies, and just generally not carrying the conversation forward, it's tough to want to continue talking with them. Even if I feel like they are enjoying the conversation, the lack of participation/input gets boring, you know?
I like talking when I’m flirting or trying to start a relationship. So it’s not my thing if you’re too quiet. It’s fine to be reserved but I need something in the conversation, not just a brick wall.
It is fine as long as she will open up and talk to me when others aren't around.
I find them very interesting and I always want to try to get them to open up to me and hear what they have to say
Thank you. I often appreciate people like that.
I have coworkers like this. You might as well quit.
Yeah ok i value your opinion jerk
As long as you're kind and friendly, it would probably be just fine.
Good. Im very sweet and friendly when i do talk.
(Except to pieces of shit on here i have no respect for)
Maybe you just have to know people before you open up. Someone can still like you for who you are.
It bothers the hell out of me. I need to know what she wants and know what she thinks, I hate mysteries.
It's kinda cool and it brings self respect but also bad in a way you can't predict what she is thinking
True i keep secrets on secrets. Nobody knows how much shit i know and see.
I striveto be honest person and not lie cheat etc or trck others. But i am still secretive and hide what i know
I don’t think anything of it. Guys don’t judge shy girls like how girls judge shy guys. A shy guy is creepy to this society
I don't think about them. Ever. They do nothing to get noticed or thought about.
I don't think of them, unless i find them cute.
Meaning a lot of people might not notice you.
It’s how women should be. They should keep quiet and only talk when spoken to.
And why is that?
I am curious what picture he paints in his mind. I wouldn't be opposed automatically.
@Nd8wtbdi7d
Men are the leaders of the house and most of the world. Women are meant to support their husbands. The best way to support her husband is to obey him.
Women are meant to take care of the babies and house.
@Nu6rxb6d yes do not settle. Find a man who wants a good woman as a wife to take care of the house and babies.
It is the life I want as well.
I find it mysterious and sexy
Thanks sweety. Are you shy
Stepford. Kind of pointless.
I prefer quiet people
Thanks. I like quiet men too.
Attractive in my opinion
I would think she is planning to murder me.
Shy girls are the best!
Thanks bames jond
shyness is a real thing, don't worry about it
I wound find that very annoying.
Easily annoyed
No patiencd
Why would i wanna be aroun you? Lmfao.
I would find them Attractive and Mysterious.
You are who you are
People need to accept others and my bosses seem to only want to promote assholes who are outgoing.
Good point sis thank you. I think quiet people can forget that we are actually scary to some people lol. I've had people assume the worst just cause i dont talk. Its sad.
We choose who we want to be by the things we say and do I used to be very shy I'm very open I also and very quiet I would rather talk with my eyes then my mouth on many occasions some people like to be heard some people like to be seen I'd rather not be either one You're Something Beautiful about a shy person I love your Insight division and their wisdom we're all unique we're all different and that's what makes us all ourselves
I found out in life the quite one raise hell
It's horrible
Lol wth sis
I may like her.
Thanks for like!
self conscious
Lack confidence
I have no respeft for you. Im op. you're a worthless pos
Hey, im just telling the truth hun
@nice-girl No, that is DIRECTLY related to low confidence. trust me on this
Quietness can also be connected with the ability to care about what matters. If you are the type of not-quiet person who has to comment on everything being said, then you are wasting your life trying to prove urself to others. Quietness just means u already know ur worth and will speak to people who know ur worth and understand you.
While what u said is possible, it's better to look at it on the positive side
@Annabelle2185 no hun, it's DIRECTLY RELATED TO LOW CONFIDENCE.
Silence is not ok
it can be related to both
really depends on the person, u are only seeing one side of the psychology of quietness. I am not trying to cause an argument with u (i even admit that it's possible that it can mean lack of confidence) but open ur mind to see that there may be other perspectives of this matter.
@Annabelle2185 because it's not, lol. people always want ONE answer to everything, not the possibilities. I'm telling her, it's not quietness, ITS CONFIDENCE. I GUARAN FUCKING TEE IT
U dont even know her, giving one possibility such as urs is not going to help, itll jus make everything worse. And some people want possibility not one answer. Literally thats the whole point of asking stuff on GAG, again im not trying to argue with u but open ur mind and see that there are other possibilities out there
@Annabelle2185 I GUARANTEE YOU, IT IS A LACK OF CONFIDENCE
Ok mr cap letters whatever u say
get over it
Ah alright 👍
she's just mad cause i point out the truth
also, you know i have 130 MHO's, and 45 superb ones, so, try saying all of what you just said, to all those MHO's, LMAO
then tell me im the "village idiot"
again, you're just mad i point out the truth, GET OVER IT
that's cool
I find it sexy
That She's a Human
Awesome you are
You can also add your opinion below!
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
