Shy girls, why would you be mean to a guy?

[Anonymous]

There's this girl who is the shy/quiet/sweet type. I like her quite a bit and at first she was nice to me but then little by little she started to turn into kind of a sarcasm machine, she likes to tease me (she has actually admitted that to people when they ask her why is she like that with me) and we always engage into these playful arguments. She is not like this with anybody else, she talks and jokes with them but not to this extent. She can say some pretty mean things to me (they are playful and funny so I don't mind it) and although we argue and tease a lot, we know a lot about each other and she seems to remember little things that I've told her weeks before (she likes to bring up things I did or said and make fun of them). So my question is, what exactly makes a shy and sweet girl act this way towards a specific person? SOmetimes I get the feeling she doesn't like me and I've asked her and she says "if I did, I would've told you". She just seems so nervous when I'm around her and so relaxed around others it makes me think otherwise. she can say things like "I'm laughing at you, as usual" or "you are so annoying", so, any ideas?

[Anonymous]

Thing is with the quiet girls, you never really know their personality until you start to break down the gaurd they have up! It's quite possible you are getting to know the 'real' her now. I have this myself, because I'm quiet, people naturally think I'm sweet and innocent and lovely... but I'm actually a bit of a bitch sometimes with some strong opinions, and it shocks people! It is a good thing though in your case as she's definitely dropped her guard around you! You need to work out though, if now you know her you actually DO like her after all. Perhaps she's a little too blunt! She sounds like she's flirting though, teasing is another way of flirting!

[Asker]

Theres some truth in that. She has told me she is like this when she is with her family and her best friend. She does have some strong opinions and yes, people get shocked when they hear her talk to me lol. I do like her, it was part of what attracted me to her, the first time she gave me an extremely sarcastic/smartass answer I was hooked because she looked so innocent haha. So in this case its a better scenario for her to be b*tchy to me than just plain "nice"?

[ATillou]

I guess if a girls making fun of you then she might like you. Do you like her? Maybe you could ask her friends or something if she likes you. Most of the time when I tease a guy or be sarcastic with him its because I like him, but I don't do it all the time. Shy girls can sometimes tease guys because they don't want them to know that they like them, and theyre afraid to find out the guys reaction. I was like that once with a guy friend. If she doesn't like you though I don't think she would even make an effort to talk to you, so I'm pretty sure there's something going on.

[Asker]

I know, but the whole "nicer to other people" thing throws me off. She is so relaxed and laughs at things other people say and when we are talking its like she has this shield on and she would either try not to laugh or smile (or turn away if she does) or tell me how unfunny I am or laugh sarcastically. Usually after she says those things she'll start giggling or have this big grin on her face. I guess the fact that I can make her jump out of her usual shy/sweet personality is a good thing.

[ATillou]

Yeah I would think that is a good thing. I really don't see another reason for a girl to tease a guy unless she likes him. Maybe she's just so comfortable around you that she doesn't have to be shy and nice around you like she is with others. Or maybe she's different around you because she's scared to open up to you. Either way I think she likes you.

[kristy87]

lol sounds like she has a bit of a "I hate you, don't leave me" complex. She might be lonely, and resent only having you to talk to which makes her act like she doesn't like you. I'm just being honest, I've acted like this before. As soon as I realized I was I stopped doing it.

[Asker]

Well, she has a lot of people she gets along with and is not mean to, that why I "suggest" she should go talk to them. This has been going on for 6 months, I think that's a bit too long

[kristy87]

am I missing something here? she's told you your annoying, she doesn't laugh at your jokes, she takes the p*ss out of everything you say and do. What exactly gives people the impression she likes you? I don't want to sound mean here, but I think your trying to kid yourself. sorry

[Asker]

Well, the fact that saying something like, I don't know, "get the f*ck out of my face" can upset her for days and mess up her overall enthusiasm with other people. I've tried to ignore her and she gets mad at me, I've told her to go talk to somebody else and she gets mad. So what its there to hold her in place and keep talking to me and give me all this attention if all she gets is verbal abuse? Is she a masochist?

[fbubbles]

she was shy and quiet in the beginning, so you never really knew her personality..

this is her the real her, a sarcastic girl...

i gueess you could accept it or move on?

when I like a guy, ill ignore him first then talk to him, but I wouldn't really be mean until he annoys me aha (:

i hope this helps

[iloveyouto]

Because we don't know you like us she has never been in a relationship so she is scared I know this for a fact I'm the same way and I want to grow out of it so bad I hate being mean it turns boys off but I don't know how

[RainOnATinRoof]

Position of power. No doubt.

Shy sweet girls may be shy and sweet on the outside... but getting to know them can show you to a whole new person. She wants to be on top. I ALWAYS tease my best guy friend... (whom I have feelings for).There's a good chance she doesn't realize that she is being mean, because she might see it as being playful. I think she likes you... in my opinion... :)