He didn't want a relationship, but initiated contact after 4 months?

[Anonymous]

I wanted a serious relationship with this guy, but he told me he wasn't ready and there were things in his life going on, plus him wanting his freedom right now. I told him I was going to delete the contact and could not be his friend because that would give me false hopes about being with him. He respected my decision, I deleted his number and all socials. Now after 4 months of no communication he texted me wishing a merry Christmas, even remembering I deleted his number. I responded and he aksed about me further, how I was doing. I have been trying real hard to get over this guy, so I don't understand why he would bother to come back and why he even thought about me on Christmas Eve of all days.. I feel so utterly confused and also frustrated because I don't know what he wants and why he choose to do this at all? Does he have any genuine intentions at all (of regret or something) or is he really being an asshole by not respecting my wish of no contact? I responded to his text that I was doing fine, but didn't ask about him in return. He hasn't said anything after, but I don't know why he decided to do this.. I know he is on Tinder again and he had no problem cutting the contact with me 4 months ago either. He knows he hurt me, so why bother to text me when I wanted him out of my life? And now he kind of raised my hopes again, which just leaves me feeling hopeless and left with not knowing what to do about it.. Should I ask what the deal is or how he is doing, or just leave it without asking..

[kyleelyn199723]

If you would like to move on, your best decision would be to block him. If you choose not to block him, then you are just doing it to yourself at this point. Leaving room for him to contact you is why you can’t move on.

[Asker]

Yes, I kind of thought it as rude to block him before. I also thought he would respect my decision to not be in touch. Would you just block or ask him what his deal is?

[kyleelyn199723]

I would block. It’s not rude, it’s what you need to do for yourself

[slatyb]

Ask him. Keep your expectations low. Don’t rearrange your schedule for him.

What happened four months ago?

[Asker]

I simply told him I had feelings for him and wanted more. He didn't want the same, so the best decision for me was to cut contact. I feel especially hurt I think because he is the very first one I've been with. Wouldn't he tell me if he changed his mind, no matter what my response is? Or what do you think his deal is?

[slatyb]

So you had sex with him and then he told you he didn’t want a relationship? That’s not nice. If that’s how he felt he should have told you up front. I’m inclined to say you should block him.

[Asker]

So you think he only wants to keep me on the side? I feel like blocking would be right, yes

[spartan55]

Not sure what you are asking, but he probably wanted sex

[Asker]

Sorry I wasn't precise, but I wonder why he bother to contact me again now when he didn't care before.

[spartan55]

Simple, for sex

[Asker]

So he choose to not bother about my feelings at all?

[spartan55]

Doesn't sound like it.

[Idontwantausername1]

I would ask why he texted you and if you don't like the answer than block him because he might hurt you again.

[Asker]

Would he think I still cared if I asked him this? I don't think I can ever take him back, no matter the response, but I still wonder.

[Idontwantausername1]

Not if you text him this: "Why would you text me this after 4 months?" If you really wanna know why he texted, but in the end it would be best to just block him, because he's gonna hurt you again and he's already playing with your feelings. And don't worry about it being rude that you blocked him, because I think you were pretty clear with not wanting to talk to him again. He made his decision 4 months ago.

[Asker]

I feel like he would simply respond with "I was just wondering about how you were doing" or something to cover it up. I haven't known him as the most open type of person.. As you say, it is probably best to just block him..

[Idontwantausername1]

Yes just block him, he's gonna hurt you again otherwise.

[bean2k21]

What exactly is the question?

[Asker]

Sorry I wasn't precise, but I wonder what his intentions for texting me are and if I should act upon it or not.

[PeterSmith1983]

Maybe nice friends with benefits?

[Asker]

You would say that is the most likely reason for him to contact me again? Would you recommend to ask him why?

[PeterSmith1983]

Always good to ask