Signs a man is a rapist? Are rapists liars?

[Anonymous]

I was raped back in 2016 by my ex who had force me and took my virginity away i remember he has this aggressive behavior one time one of my friends had told me that he was only dating me because he want it my virginity i confronted him about it and got violent, then he told me had PTSD and now that i look up the signs of PTSD he never had PTSD but he is a very violent person then one time i tried breaking up with him and he threatened me with "he was going to kill himself if i left him" this was before i was raped. But he was very violent aggressive and a liar but i don't know if these were signs of him being a rapist i never notice them because i loved him so much

[Aerissa_Jade]

Having been through that myself, I am so sorry.

As for spotting, I do not think these are signs of a rapist. These are signs of a violent person who is manipulative, who may or may not be a rapist. Violent people may or may not be sex offenders.

Signs I've seen here on GAG of a potential rapists are those that think non-consensual sex is not rape, or that you cannot rape a spouse or a prostitutes. They try to justify why it isn't rape.

What they say and believe is a bigger sign in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Have you considered therapy, or done that before? Even the last time you posted about this, there’s a lot of you trying to sort through these feelings seemingly alone, so I’m just wondering (and hoping) if you’ve pursued psychological help. You’re harboring a lot of pain (and rightfully so) and you deserve to heal from that trauma so you can begin moving on, at least to some extent.❤️

[Asker]

No i have not seek therapy but i know have to i will ❤️

[Opinion Owner]

Hey, new year new you, so it’s a great time actively lock in at least one session.❤️ It’s hard to do this sort of healing work alone and live your life in general when something so traumatic is eating away at you. Your ex doesn’t deserve to have this sort of power over your life, hurting you mentally years after he hurt you physically, while he’s going about with normalcy. Time to take your life back🙏

[Opinion Owner]

Also, to answer your actual question, I don’t think there are ways to spot a rapist. It’s like trying to spot a killer like Ted Bundy, who looked so regular and kind. That’s why all those red flags within his personality should at least prompt you to leave, rather than stick around. Of course not all rapists even have such personality traits and are normal; but I feel like most will have that bad attitude and viciousness your ex did.

[Anonymous]

I think these are not always signs for being a rapist. But stuff like being violent, aggresive, narsistic (threating with killing himself) etc do show some rapist vibes.

[MrSmithee]

sorry for that. sometimes. controlling and aggressive men often are rapists.

[Asker]

Yes that's what I thought

[jahaims]

They rape