When a guy says I am honest as I can be and that he tries to be honest does that mean that he is omitting the truth?

[xJayleenx]

It does right? Because trying to be honest and actually being honest are two different things. I was telling my boyfriend that I want him to always be honest to me and he said that he’s as honest as he can be

[HighlyVolatile]

It might be motivated by empathy and tactfulness. I'm very much on the empathetic and tactful side which tempts me to hide hurtful truths from sensitive people, although I don't take that to the point of deception yet I will refrain from sharing thoughts that I think might hurt them.

My wife is a strong exception though. I actually got encouraged strongly by my friends to be less honest with my wife, but my wife is a very rare exception of a woman who has almost no insecurities about herself or our relationship. So for example if we're at a restaurant and I find a waitress very pretty, I'll tell my wife, "Wow, that waitress is very pretty, don't you think?" And she often agrees with me, and she'll do the same if she finds a guy very handsome while her friends scold her and suggest she becomes less honest with me.

We sort of break the rules with our level of honesty but the reason I can do that with her even though I'm a tactful type is that she's an unusually thick-skinned woman almost completely devoid of insecurities. So I know for certain that I'm not hurting her sharing these types of thoughts so openly with her.

[HighlyVolatile]

As another example, my wife and I call each other fat when we're getting fat. For example, I started developing love handles a few years into marriage from dining out so much. My wife would call it "happy fat", but she called me fat all the time. For example, she'd pinch my growing belly and say, "What's this? You are getting fat!" Then I would laugh and pinch her belly and say, "Look who's talking, fatso!" Then she'd laugh.

And most people might be horrified if they didn't know how secure we are with ourselves and our relationships. They would think I'm fat-shaming my wife and my wife is fat-shaming me, but we're just able to be so honest with each other due to our lack of insecurities. And we can both recognize when we're getting fat so we work out together and start eating better.

Yet I wouldn't recommend most husbands tell their wives that they're getting fat at least without heavy sugarcoating since that could really hurt the feelings of most women. My wife is a very rare exception who isn't hurt at all by this and that's why we can be so honest with each other even though we horrify our friends and family.

[xJayleenx]

I just like to bother my boyfriend with his butt because he has a big booty 😂 but I’m the same way I’ll lie to spare someone’s feelings

[HighlyVolatile]

I do something similar if I'm dealing with someone I suspect is very sensitive, but more in the realm of omitting blunt truths rather than an outright statement that contradicts what I really think. I think when dealing with a sensitive person, it's only a betrayal if we're hiding information they really want to or should know about or to put it another way, if we're doing it for selfish reasons rather than for altruistic ones.

[ohshee]

Well there's two answers there he's as honest as he can be in that moment but their moments and he can't be for whatever reasons so he covered his ass basically he's as honest as he can be he's as honest as he's willing to be it doesn't mean that he's always going to be honest as what he was saying but he will try to always be honest but if circumstances comes up you basically just told you you can only go so far

[DizzyDesii]

“Honest as i can be” means he's leaving out hurtful details that may not be as necessary. At least he told you that much. Im just the type to beat around the bush and tell what i feel is necessary lmao

[bowenw]

You are either telling the truth or you are not. Trying to be honest does not count.

[xJayleenx]

Exactly that is what I told him. I think that’s what’s going on is that he doesn’t like my body or isn’t attracted to it but doesn’t want to tell me. He tells me that my body is not the issue but he probably hides it because he doesn’t want to appear shallow I really don’t know what it is and this has been troubling me for the past two days

[bowenw]

If he has trouble telling the truth he may be more forthcoming if you ask him a series of simple direct questions about what you think he may be having trouble telling you.

[MrtoddsWildRide]

There was a great line in the movie Other People's Money
"I hate it when someone says can I be honest with you? That means they're bullshitting you the rest of the time"

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Well, he is trying to be as honest as he can be or he will get hung by his balls just looking at the guy I can tell you he is purely honest with you.

[dolemite89]

he may also be omitting white lies that you actually don’t want to know 🤷‍♂️

[xJayleenx]

Like what

[dolemite89]

like if u ask if a dress makes u look fat instead of saying yea it does he just lies instead 😂

[xJayleenx]

My boyfriend just stays quiet lmao he’s afraid to answer but in reality I don’t care that much if a dress makes me look fat because it’s just the dress not me if he calls me fat then that’s a different story 😂

[dolemite89]

if a girl ever asks me if a dress makes her look fat i just say no, it’s the fat that makes you look fat 😝

[xJayleenx]

Youd make her cry then lmao

[jasco]

could be but their are many ways to hide the truth without lying. So yea he could be honest with you

[IsoUser]

To be perfectly honest I would tend to agree he is being perfectly honest.

[Anonymous]

Yes, he is a schemer. He wants to be as far from the truth as possible while technically not lying.

[Deku2009]

Yeah he is admitting a Truth. No one is perfect

[Gwenhwyfar]

That is troubling