Is he probably being honest?

[Anonymous]

A man with moderate to severe Asperger’s syndrome told me years ago that he can’t be with me, because he can’t bear intimate touches. Years later, he said he still loves and wants me and wishes he could marry me; that he thinks I’m very beautiful, kind and gentle natured and he always liked me, but he still can’t cope, so he wants to be online acquaintances. I have Asperger’s too, but mine is mild.

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, I don't know if I'd fully trust that he's being completely honest, only because it seems like his story has changed over time. A few things to consider:

- Aspergers can definitely make intimacy difficult, so that part could be true. But the fact that he originally said he "can't be with you" and now wants more, is suspicious.

- Saying he wants to marry you but can't be physical seems disingenuous. Marriage implies physical/emotional intimacy eventually.

- Telling a woman she's beautiful when you're not available just seems like leading her on a bit.

- His Aspergers may be part of it, but could also be an excuse depending on the situation.

I would proceed with caution. Maybe see if you can have an honest heart-to-heart and ask direct follow up questions to anything that seems inconsistent or doesn't add up. Trust your gut feeling.

If deep down you don't think he's ready/willing to meet your needs in a relationship, as hard as it may be, you deserve someone who can fully commit to you. Don't settle for less than what you want sis!

[Asker]

He’s stopped talking to me, just reads my messages.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ouch that's super rough, I'm sorry to hear he's ghosting you now. You don't deserve to be strung along or left hanging like that. As much as I'm sure you care about him, at some point you've gotta protect your own feelings and well-being too. As hard as it is, I think the best thing might be to cut your losses and move on. Don't give this guy any more of your headspace if he can't even be bothered to respond to you. You've tried making it work and understanding his situation, but he's not meeting you halfway at all. It hurts, but cutting ties and focusing on yourself and your own happiness is healthy. Surround yourself with people who genuinely want to be there for you. Stay strong - you got this! And if you ever want some company to get sushi and bitch about what a flake this dude is while we laugh at dating fails online, hmu. You deserve way better.

[laly520]

um
doesn't seem too honest