What does it mean if a guy at work started annoying me and I gave him the silent treatment? Now he avoids talking to me even when his friends talk2me?

[Anonymous]

[Quetion]

Maybe you've hurt his feelings... I mean you gave him silent treatment. And he probably thought "I should just stop trying... maybe this is a sign for me to back off. I won't bother her anymore, I guess I've been annoying her..." which made him feel guilty so now he avoids talking to you, so that he doesn't bother you anymore. And his friends... well maybe they didn't know that you were giving him the silent treatment or that he would bother you. - An opinion by the way

[Asker]

It s starting to seem like that... I never expected he would feel sorry or back up to this extent. Other guys at work who annoyed or did worse to me never stopped no matter if i ignored them. I expected he was just as worse but I don't know anymore now.

[Quetion]

Maybe the other guys take rejection not too seriously, like they don't get hurt easily or take it to heart, but he did. Maybe he was a nice dude just... sensitive to rejection. Maybe if you want to reconnect... maybe just try talking to him if he avoids let him chill. But I wouldn't really say to ask him why he's acting this way. Because it was practically cold shoulder (silent treatment), and he may have gotten offended. But maybe try to get to know him even if he's avoiding you if you're worried of course. I don't really know... but if it were me and I worried I would try contacting them or try initiating a conversation, therefore I could apologize (but only if I misunderstood them). But to be honest I don't know... - an opinion...

[Asker]

Thank you! You may be right. I never thought about it like thatm maybe he's not as tough hearted as the other men... Maybe i can get the courage to aay something to him one day..

[Quetion]

Glad I helped

[Anonymous]

You still haven’t had a conversation with him, but why?

[Asker]

Waiting for him to start one

[Opinion Owner]

If he’s not starting one then it’s just not bothering him the same as it is for you. I don't know if you’re too prideful, shy or what exactly, but it’s better to hear it from his mouth than speculate. I mean he was the one being rude to you in the first place right? (Assuming you are the girl who gave the guy silent treatment for that). So you have nothing to lose by asking him.

[Asker]

I thought he does care and thats why he avoids me.

[Opinion Owner]

To be honest he may be avoiding you after the silent treatment (a well deserved one), and bullying you how he did. That was very unnecessary and immature, and he probably thinks you’re mad. But If he’s a big enough jerk to carry on how he did I would not expect him to talk to you first, unfortunately. That’s why I think you may have to be the one to break the ice. Should you have to? No, he’s the wrong one. But someone’s got to be the adult and if you have to be in each other’s presence it can at least be cordial.

[Asker]

I was extremely mad inside. Now i moved on from being mad. I also notice he annoys other girls ( but to a lesser extent) and they seem to not mind or they play back with him. So maybe he thinks i am weird for disliking how he bullied me.

[Opinion Owner]

That’s probably why he messes with them to a lesser extent, because they’re all amused and playful in return. Since you weren’t that way, he was harsher and that’s just ridiculous. You weren’t doing anything wrong by not engaging, because his sort of personality doesn’t work for everyone. But it doesn’t give him the right to bully you, and since you’re not so mad anymore you can tell him that in a level-headed way. If you’re not the type to like engaging and stuff, especially because he’s a guy then I do understand. I’m the sort who could tear up and get emotional when I have to speak my mind because I usually bottle it up. But sometimes you owe it to yourself to get an explanation. I think this is that, for you.

[Asker]

Thank you. You seem to understand this situation really well. I was hoping he would come up to me eventually or not avoid me totally. I have had other situations with very pushy coworkers who were guys and the guys wouldn't stop even if i ignored them. They would always find a way back to harassing me one way or another and i gave up in those situations. But they never were sorry or stopped the bad behavior. I just had to deal with it. So im surprised this guy is avoiding me. I probably wouldn't confront him esp since he's a gut. They seem to speak their own language xD

[Trevelyan88]

Maybe it was him trying to flirt and when you gave him the silent treatment, he moved on and now avoids you in order to avoid an harassment complaint.

[Asker]

Ah okay...

[Asker]

Heannoys other girls. Is he flirting with them too?

[Trevelyan88]

Depends on what you mean by annoying?
If he isn't "annoying" guys, but only girls, then its likely that its him trying to flirt.

[Asker]

Yeah definitely flirting. I wasn't special then.

[Trevelyan88]

How special were you expecting to be to someone you haven't really talked to?

[Asker]

So why is he bothering me if im not special and not talking to me like a normal human? I know he can have normal convos cauae i have seen him do it.

[Babygirl8899]

What a loser…