If a guy asks you to coffee? What does that mean?

[Anonymous]

Is it because he’s not sure if he’s attracted to me or not?

[HighlyVolatile]

That's a common first date, no? It's not my style since I prefer to start the date on our feet rather than sitting down, but I think that might be among the most common proposals for a first and very casual date.

[Asker]

I just thought since we have mainly been just chatting so far he wants to see if he’s even attracted to me…?

[Asker]

Or does the guy usually fance the girl if he’s suggesting meeting for a coffee?

[HighlyVolatile]

Most of the time, I think there's already some attraction there. I think most of the time, guys who go for coffee dates are attracted to a woman but want to start with something very simple and light so that she might entertain their offer.

[Asker]

Why simple and light?

[HighlyVolatile]

Probably to try to optimize their chances of the woman agreeing. Some women might be off-put by a bigger date, or it might inconvenience them more. A coffee date requires little effort and time.

I never did that way though. I invited women out on huge dates: all day long sometimes, with many fun activities planned out. I preferred it that way even though it was maybe more risky to ask women to join me.

[Asker]

So he most likely is attracted to me and likes me?

[HighlyVolatile]

I'd think so like 98% of the time.

[Asker]

What if he wants to be just friends lol? Or is that very rare?

[HighlyVolatile]

I think typically it's on the rarer side. Most of the time I think it would be considered a date.

[Asker]

by the way this same guy initiates text but then he sometimes open and reply after like 22 hours? Is that red flag? We do have back and fort chats…is he playing some game with me? Where he opens my message after almost 24 hours later….

[HighlyVolatile]

He might just prefer seeing each other in person more. I'm not so sure. I've never been a big texter myself.

[Asker]

So he’s not ”disrespecting ” me? :D some girls would automatically think that he’s not interested….

[HighlyVolatile]

If he's inviting you for a coffee then I think he's at least interested a bit in getting to know you more. If he's like me, maybe he wants to talk to you in person and avoid risking the types of miscommunication that texting can sometimes bring about.

[Asker]

Interedted a bit? Like just a little?

[HighlyVolatile]

For me at least, I don't tend to be that interested in a girl until after we started dating since I haven't gotten to know her so well in that sort of context unless we were close friends before.

[Asker]

by the way we were chatting on and off for months. He asked me out for coffee after I hinted at taking things off the app. He’s sweet when we chat. He often sends me this emoji ☺️. I don't know why he asked me out only after I hinted at taking things further…

[HighlyVolatile]

If you like him, I'd go for the coffee and see what happens.

[Asker]

But as a guy what do u think? What’s your opinion? Why he waited so long for to ask me out for coffee?

[HighlyVolatile]

I'm not sure. Maybe he was busy and not feeling ready to date and have a relationship? Might also explain his delayed replies.

[Asker]

Well his responses are sometimes delayed even after asking me out….

[Dan4you]

Is this question common among girls?

Because I asked one to have a coffe with me a while ago and she said yes but acts like she's thinking on this very same question..

Coffe is a trivial thing, like a chat. Not upfront commitment.

[Asker]

Is guy usually already interested if he asks girl to meet for coffee ( so far they’re only just chatted) ?

[Dan4you]

He is interested enough to know her better and enjoys being with her for sure. I dont speak for all guys but I prefer establish a frindship and then who knows.

[Dan4you]

I think girls (and guys) put too much weight and pressure on this. Gals, chill, its just a coffe, a simple chat.
You litterally dont need to dramatize and playing scenarious in you heads whenever this happens.

[Asker]

Lol friendship?

[Asker]

Naah I don’t want to get friendzoned. I would hate that if he saw me as a ”friend”

[Dan4you]

Why not? Why do you need to jump straght to intimacy? First and foremost I would like to know her and her to know me in a friendly, no pressure space. If you love somenone you must be a friend to that person or else you can't build real love if you dont have that foundation. Thats how I think

[Dan4you]

If a guy is a serious person and if you reach to him for a 1-1 free conversation he will not leave you out. To my perspective friendzone is a myth supported by preconcieved fears, lack of honest conversations and inniciative.

[Anonymous]

A common "low pressure" first date. Something casual. And if things don't go well, it's a "quick" date, meaning it's open to continue longer, or it can end. See if there's chemistry. But if he asked you, then there's interest or he wouldn't have bothered asking.

[spartan55]

Uh... no... it means he wants to ask you out on a date.

[Asker]

But why tho?

[spartan55]

What do you mean why? Because he wants to take you out...

[Asker]

But why…

[Dragonstarterplus]

If he asked you to coffee he's probably already thought about sex so he's probably attracted

[Asker]

Lol sex? Really… tbh me and him have just chatted so far.

[Dragonstarterplus]

Guy has already thought about sex with the girl before he even walks over and says hi

[In_Trance]

Because he wants to have a coffee with you