Talking to a guy I actually like and feel comfortable to open up with, but did I say something off to scare him away since he didn’t respond in a day?

[Anonymous]

[Lionman95]

Give him time there could be a huge number of reasons why he hasn't responded yet. Maybe the last sentence could irritate him a bit because it's unclear why you're scared now.
I don't think that a day without response is nothing to worry about I would start worrying if he's not messaging after 5 days or more.

[Asker]

I think this makes sense. I’m just scared of starting over and maybe getting hurt and I don't know. But I guess i did tell him some intense information and he might need a bit more time to come up with a response? But after 5 days should I just move on?

[Lionman95]

Maybe you message him again like: Hey how are you? Are you still interested. But you could also move on straight away depending on how strong your feelings still are.

[Mantis_Toboggan]

I don't think he wants to commit to a relationship. He realized if he's going to be with you, it's a long one. Im only using past personal emotions to get that conclusion. Maybe ease up on the topic of being scared and just feel what you do in the moment.

[HollyK21]

Maybe it was just overwhelming for him, because although I think it’s great that you like him enough to share personal things, dropping two bombs back to back can be a lot. I also think that intentions come into play here. Have you asked him what he’s looking for right now?

[Asker]

:( I feel horrible that I did. He probably wasn’t expecting that. I didn’t ask him what he’s looking for. It also doesn’t specify on his profile. I’m not trying to get into a long term relationship rn either. That’s the goal but for now it’s just finding someone to bond with. I’ll be very sad if he decides that I’m not it for him at this time.

[HollyK21]

I think that is where things went wrong. Take a step back from feeling humiliated for a second and ask yourself: what do you want from a guy? What do you want for yourself? Surely you have set a standard for yourself (if you haven’t, then you really should), and when you put yourself out there to date, you should intentionally search for a guy who meets those standards. Where you messed up is by not asking what he wants, and set yourself up to just find out. However, I think this “slip up” of yours also saved you, because now you see he doesn’t want anything serious. Maybe you feel mortified about sharing too soon, but it is not as serious as you’re making it in your mind, and if he really liked you he would not have run for the hills. Now he is showing you that he would’ve been the guy to use you and never commit. I can’t even say “well now you’ll never know”... no, he’s showing you his true self with that behavior. Please don’t look at this situation as some big devastating loss, and adjust your perspective. If he ran from this, he would have run from bigger things.

[HollyK21]

Don’t fall into the trap of being too agreeable, and by that I mean not enforcing your boundaries from the beginning. Of course you aren’t looking to just dive bomb into a relationship— no healthy-minded person is. But eventually you do want a relationship so you should actively pursue a guy who wants one (eventually) as well. Already you didn’t want to ask his intentions and are cringing so hard over what you shared, and to me it relays that you are afraid of not only opening up but asking the right questions. You don’t wanna be “that girl”, but what you should realize is that asking questions isn’t “doing too much”. A lot of guys assess you when they meet you, so maintaining strong boundaries from the beginning is important. If you’re worried about turning him off, it will actually do the opposite for the right guy, because boundaries communicate value.

[Baylay]

I don't think you scared him. It was a normal convo

[Asker]

Then why isn’t he responding after a day or 2…?

[Baylay]

Maybe he's busy or not interested in you

[Smallboobsgotohell]

He thought u were innocent but u aren't actually he thinks u are a hooker