Why would a man start avoiding me (sort of) after a serious talk?

[Bpet22]

He is my coworker , there is an attraction between us. We went out 3 times, we are touchy with each other, we confide in each other and we talk a lot. Two days ago we chatted for 4 hours about "trust issues" and he's said that "trusting him might turn bad for me", because I've known him for only 4-5 months.

When I asked "why?"... he started changing topics. Then I never backed down... I wanted to know the answer. He asked me "why do u trust me?". I've pointed 2 reasons and made a hint about a third one. Soo we sort of went to "if you are not answering my question I won't answer yours either"

It was almost midnight, I told him I'm going to bed, cause I won't be able to wake up and he joked about "I told you I should come to your hotel (I'm on a business trip) earlier today, I would have waken you up"... and I said "well, that was a joke, wasn't it"... he "well how do u take it?"... me " you tell me, you are the author"... he "then suggest"... me "maybe you were joking, cause otherwise you would have come" ... and he continued "did you invite me?" ..."well, if you are indeed not joking, you can come"... he "too late". And then he wished me good night and told me "we will talk", but hasn't contacted me since then. It's the day 2.

[Hulk_kitty]

From I am reading, he is probably think the same thing. that your not really that interested, and its all flirting talk, and banter. What you might consider a serious conversation, might not be to him.

Why don't you contact him, why wait for him do it, cause your a girl? The problem nowadays, with people they assume too much, and it leads broken relationships. If I was in his shoes, I wouldn't do all the chasing when it comes to girls, no way, she must take initiative and make an effort to call me, so that I know she actually likes and is interested me.

Plus if you wait for him to do all the calling, you will lose him, he will just find another girl who will make an effort to be with him. Don't just wait round, no offence and hope for all the guys to do all the calling.

[Hulk_kitty]

How do you know, if he is avoiding you, just cause he is not calling you, that's is a bad assumption to make. It might just be a case, that he thinks you don't like him that much. If a guy, doesn't get the sense a girl is not making much of an effort with him, they will move on.

Its all only creepy or very insecure guys that will chase girls like a rabbit chasing carrot stick in front of him.

[Bpet22]

I'm not sure if he is really into me or just messing around. The talk from previous night didn't make it clear. I'm even more confused. If I was sure that he was into me, I would have never let him do all the work.

[Hulk_kitty]

Just phone him, and speak to him stop making all these assumptions, Yes I know how difficult this is for you, but your making much worse for yourself than assuming stuff about him.

You will build massive confidence dealing with people, if you force to have uncomfortable conversations with them. Do it for your confidence, regardless of a bad outcome. If you can do this him, you able to it with other people in your life going forwards, feel the fear and do it anyway.

I am not saying you would let him do all the work, I am just making a general statement, that some people do that, and expect things to happen for them, and people to run after them, regardless of sex, and status.

[Hulk_kitty]

These are the four reasons, relationships fail, 1 assumptions,2 jealously, 3 lack of communication, 4 insecurity. I see 3 things in these relationship already.

[Anonymous]

Why would anyone even get flirty with a co worker. Recipe for disaster 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

[Bpet22]

I know, but I'm also leaving this place in a month. So basically he won't be a coworker anymore

[Darklydarkened]

Jesus christ both of you are dumb...

[Bpet22]

Really? Why

[Blackcupcake]

maybe he’s feeling awkward lol

[Bpet22]

Perhaps you are right... I'm feeling awkward too. I don't know whether should I approach him or not, nor do I know how. I feel like this conversation went too far and now things would never be the same again.

[Blackcupcake]

just give it time…