Guys, do you truly believe that a woman who is older than 30, or older than 35, who isn't married is really "damaged goods"?

[Anonymous]

I'm 35. I am very nurturing, kind, etc. as many have said. I am very successful - a medical office clinic manager & I own my own online cannabis store. I am also very attractive. I turn heads. I get men to do double-takes and stare. I don't wear makeup and my usual outfit is an ankle-length skirt & a professional blouse.

I happen to get interest from ***REAL*** men - older, about 10 years or so, successful in their own right. The norm around here... men closer to my age, 30s to 35s, are more like boys stuck in adult bodies in comparison.

I know a lot of guys say women are only in their prime 20s to 25s.
In my 20s to 25s I was graduating from university with 2 degrees & working in the military; whereas, back then, most men my age were fucking the local trollops (/sluts for Americans)

Yes

No

[John_Doesnt]

What stopped you or is stopping you from dating men who are making less money than you? The problem with women in their 30's is that they had plenty of chances in their 20's to find a guy but rejected everybody because he didn't have enough money. Now those guys are in their 30's and making plenty of money & suddenly you're interested in them. Why would they want a 30 year old when they could get a 20 year old? After spending 10+ years working to have a good job men deserve a good woman.
You had your chance and now that you're getting old you regret your choices.

[Asker]

Wherever did I mention money? I don't care for money. I said real men, successful in their own right - by that, I meant confident, etc. Men that know what reality's about.

Now - since you didn't comprehend much of anything - why when I had 2 degrees in my 20s would I want to waste my time on guys in their 20s? They know jackshit. It'd be like babysitting. If I wanted that, I'd babysit my nephews/nieces or buy a dog. Both are far more useful than a video gaming dork as is typical of that age bracket.

And no I'm interested in men in their 40s. Real men. Men in their 30s, to me, are still the video game playing dorks by majority.

[exitseven]

Many people defer getting married because of career or education. There could be other reasons as well. A friend dated a guy who was in his 30s who had never been on a date before. This guy had a good home remodeling business and was pretty good looking. It turns out he was raised in a place where there were not many dateable women.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[MrOracle]

I'm going to answer your question, and you're not going to like my answer, but I'm not giving it to you to try to be mean, but rather to HOPEFULLY help you to maximize your potential as a partner.

There's a REASON why men most want 20-something women, and it's not just because they're pretty - it's mostly because they are FERTILE, and the main reason the vast majority of the men who choose to marry CHOOSE to marry is because they want a family, i. e., children. Children are literally what marriage is about. Yes, there are exceptions - there are always exceptions to any rule, but 90+% of the time, you will fall under the rule, not the exception, so let's focus on the rule.

A woman who is in her early 20s is still in the first third of her fertility window, while a 30-year old is in the last 25% of her fertility window (on average) - at 30, 90% of a woman's eggs are gone, and past 35, the medical term for a pregnancy is a "geriatric pregnancy." Again, yes, many women can have children past 35, and a very few can have healthy children in their 40s, but again, those are exceptions to the rule.

Aside from children, there's another important reason that men want to marry women in their 20s: on average, they're more feminine, more cooperative, still have new things to experience in life, and aren't so hard and jaded. A woman who has been single and focused on her education and/or career has had to fight the world to do so, and tends to be harder, much more jaded, much less cooperative, and has much more masculine energy - all things that turn the majority of men right off. Such women generally have NO IDEA how to be WIVES, and simply getting married won't make you a wife in the practical sense of the word, only in the legal sense.

Does this mean I think you have no hope of finding a husband? No - but I think it's going to be FAR more difficult than you appreciate. Sure, you have men "interested" in you, but is that long-term relationship/marriage "interest", or just casual sex "interest"? I suspect that the vast majority is the latter, and too many women don't seem to understand the difference. That's not to say that "marrying men" who might be interested in you don't exist, but even those men, when looking for "wife material" women, are going to be focused on women who are feminine, submissive, cooperative, and who want to be WIVES - not merely women who want to be married. There's a big difference, and most single women your age who want to be married have little interest in being a WIFE - most don't even know what it means to be a wife - they think that's something that happens as the result of a ceremony and a party and a license, but that's not at all the case.

If you really want a husband, learn to be a wife. You are certainly capable of doing that if you choose, and it would significantly expand the number of men who would take you seriously as a potential marriage partner. To do this, you're going to have to really understand what men want in a wife - and you need to assume that what you think they want is NOT what they actually want, because your assumptions are almost certainly wrong. You'll need to ASK men, and actually listen to their answers, and consider them.

Again, I think it's well within your abilities to do this - whether you CHOOSE to do it is something completely different, though.

[MrOracle]

I need to add this here, because you already led with your resume (education and business): men DO NOT CARE about your resume, your income, your education, or your money, beyond not wanting you to be in debt. Not only do men largely not assign positive value to those things in the women they consider for relationships, they can often be a NEGATIVE value. It's not because men want "dumb women" or that men don't want women to work or have their own money - it's because it demonstrates that you have vastly different priorities. You had your entire adult life to go to school or work, but your fertility window is short and comes early, and yet you chose your career over marriage and children, and you're still "advertising" your education and career as if that's going to make you more valuable in the eyes of marriage-minded men. It does not, and to some extent, it does just the opposite.

Keeping that in mind, if you are talking to men that you might consider marrying, you should be talking about why you would make an excellent wife and mother - the things that will matter to such a man. Talking about your career simply tells him that you have the wrong priorities in his eyes, and he's likely to take a pass and keep searching.

[ChrisMaster69]

Zero wrong with it,

admittedly it does mean there should be nothing else that means they are still single.

like never dated or still a virgin etc, that sort of starts meaning you need to think more about the type of person and reason why.

However if it’s a normal every day girl with a sexual , dating past etc, then nothing wrong with it. People can and do have long term 8 year plus engagements and then break up, this means both parties may be in 30’s.

say a girl meets a guy at 22 and they date n get engaged, saving for house etc for wedding, then split for some reason she may be 30 plus and him even older, both now single.

it’s the real world it happens, I know quite a few girls 28-40 who are single for one reason or another, a couple are divorced recently at 32.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Of course not!

Some choose not to be in relationships, others might of been unlucky with their choice of partner. It isn't something I have ever given thought to. If I like a woman and she's single (providing I am too) I would go and talk to her and see where things go from there.

[Carolus]

Depends with the age of a guy as the view changes with age. Most guys believe women within their age group / older are ‘too old’ for them and go for younger lot. Am 40 and would probably go for a 30/35 woman. For me, you are superb.

[TheUniqueOne96]

No.

You don't know the reasons why they're single, so an assumption about it, isn't certain to be true.

[Avicenna]

No, of course not. There are always some people out there with crazy opinions.

[Anonymous]

A lot of them are "Jaded" though.

[Wise4myage]

No, I think its wrong to assume that about anyone.

[Iron_Man]

No I don’t think so