We have been dating for almost two years , I told him I don’t feel comfortable having sex anymore, he seem cool about it but now he is so distant?

[Onyx436]

We have not spoken in 5 days. He is also 13yrs older than me -is it a type of manipulation tactic? I don’t feel comfortable having sex anymore because I had an abortion 2 months ago which he never helped me pay for ( he said he’ll do it when he gets the chance ) but yeah I don’t want to put myself in that position again - He was there for me through the whole process.

[lightbulb27]

no wonder, he's providing no security to you, you both ended the life of your offspring... which is the purpose of sex... nor is he providing commitment security nor emotional support. He's a knucklehead that shut off his emotions, he's probably sad, embarrassed, ashamed, angry, scared, and who knows what else. Males can go into a "hole" with their emotions whereas females want to communicate and relate. It sucks until he is more of a man and can be there for you. Doubt he understands without some serious therapy/work.

going to take some work and pain to get through...

Sorry to hear, this is real life...

[Onyx436]

Thank you so much 🥹

[Pyrofox]

The clear lack of communication of when to have the baby to begin with just screams immaturity however I'll over look that for the sake of this question. Its not surprising he's not being around ya as he probably blames himself for it all. Probably feels like falling in love with you was a mistake.

I'm in sort of the same boat I'm 25 she is 20 but we both agreed having kids now would be a bad idea. That is a conversation you both should have had LONG before the deed was ever done. Plus you both should have done fertility testing probably before even starting.

(Disclaimer I'm not trying to insult ya or put ya down here, just pointing out the enormous like lack of responsibility as a relationship. As its clearly neither individuals fault so much as a cohesive failure.)

[Daniela1982]

Well maybe you wouldn't be in that position if both of you had used birth control. Or maybe you are just trolling because I can't see someone complaining about getting pregnant when it was their fault for not using birth control. An abortion is not my idea of birth control.

[Flower7]

Is there a reason the two of you can’t use birth control?

[Daniela1982]

That would be the smart thing to do. but sometimes people aren't playing it smart.

[Guy13]

I’m sorry for your loss. It’s normal to not want to be intimate with another in such circumstances.

[Guy13]

Guys tend to be sex driven and then develop emotional contact whereas women work exactly opposite.
—There’s lots going on here and he to is/will be affected by events. Do you have a mental health contact?

[Onyx436]

No I don’t 😭

[Guy13]

You think it would be a good idea to connect with one? Do you have a church or some place like that to connect into?

[Onyx436]

Yes , I’ll definitely try church.
Should I break the silence and get him to get help as well?

[Guy13]

I don’t know about that counseling kind of thing…I do know at my church there are counselors that are pastors but not THE Pastor or Priest.
—Hopefully, they will be able to connect you with someone helpful.

[Avicenna]

Sounds like you’ve hit a serious rough patch. Need to communicate better.

[SlothySlob]

Hey dum dum, he want's to have sex. If he can't get it from you he'll get it from someone else.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried birth control?