Why would a guy not want hook ups?

[Anonymous]

I don’t mean hook up. I mean to be hooked up with cool things. I have a crush who I told I could help him get hooked up with some cool connections and he flat out has ghosted me! I don’t know why! Everyone likes some cool things. And I’m willing to hook him up but he clearly does not care or want it! Why not?

[MrOracle]

He doesn't want to be "friends", and you are showing him "friends" behavior. Female "friends" tend to eat up a lot of a man's time, energy, attention, and often also money and favors, and a lot of men - ESPECIALLY men who are popular and attractive to most women - figure this out and learn to avoid becoming "friends" with girls, and only put their energy into girls when sex is at least a possibility.

Whatever it is that you were offering to "hook him up with" is clearly not important enough to him to put himself in a situation where he feels obligated to you, and simply isn't what he's really looking for.

[Asker]

Well he told me we were fucking friends. Wasting a shit ton of money on something I can get him for free is plain stupid!

[MrOracle]

I'm not saying that I agree with him, especially if he misled you, or didn't tell you his feelings had changed - I think that's awful behavior. I'm just telling you how he LIKELY sees things - and keep in mind I don't know the guy and can only guess based on your two sentences of background, so there could be something I'm missing.

[one1wild00]

You are the "Carrot" when one bombards someone like that with "A Bushel of carrots" it makes them very nervous and gun-shy, especially if they have been scammed in the past. (Yes you may very well mean well) but if you overload them early on its not good. Even if you have the abilities, get the relationship solid first then add in some of the "treats" a little at a time.

[asomeone]

I don't know how you said it to him, but "cool connections" could mean anything to me from a LinkedIn contact to a drug dealer. You might have been misunderstood.

[Sparkie460]

He might think you are doing it out of pity or you aren't happy with how he looks right now. He can see it as a handout

[spartan55]

Because then he owes you.

[Guy13]

Cost-Benefit Analysis

[Asker]

What?

[Guy13]

He doesn’t want anything from yiu because he does not want to be beholding to you. Your expectations are different to him now. Cost-Benefit Analysis says that it’s better to refuse your offerings. Make sense?

[Asker]

I guess but everyone likes free things? No guys don’t make sense.

[Guy13]

Not every guy…I wouldn’t either unless I knew we were in a committed relationship

[Anonymous]

Because some guys just aren't into hookups.

[Asker]

Everyone likes free things and saving money?

[Opinion Owner]

Sure.

[Asker]

RIGHT. So it’s stupid to not take it!

[noless10in]

Not interested