Why does a guy refer to a girl he’s seeing as his friend rather than “girlfriend”?

[Mel2021]

Hey guys sorry I did ask a similar question a while ago but I’m looking an update.

A guy I know never brings up a girls he’s seeing around me and each time he does only refers to her as a “friend” and I think they have now been seeing each other for at least two months. Why does he not call her his girlfriend and not talk about her much and then when he does call her his “friend” does he not like her much or is it not serious enough?

I’ve had guys that have been friends openly bring people up that they are interested in and mention their girlfriends but I don’t understand my scenario.

Any advice would be appreciated.

[TheSpaceGnome]

2 months of friendship is not long enough to reach the girlfriend stage, 3 years is. But, if they knew eachother for at least 3 years, and then started dating for 2 months after, then the reasons could be a few things.

1. They find talking about their relationships embarassing.
2. One, some, or all of their relatives or peers would not approve.
3. They simply don't like talking about the details of their relationship to people for privacy reasons, and see glossing it over as "friends" as a way to avoid that.
4. They aren't certain that it will last.
5. They expect it to fail or have their eye on someone else they plan on switching to.
6. They think secrecy is hot.

I probably missed some reasons, but thats all I could think of atm.

[Mel2021]

I understand what you saying. Just normally guys would tend to talk about the person they are seeing and be happy about it, nearly boasting if that makes sense. I’ve had guy friends and they at most would at least mention a name to me of who they like but this guy doesn’t mention anything like that.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I typically don't talk about my relationships with my friends unless they ask, I also am not the boasting type either though, boasting in general about anything feels awkward and forced, and when
i'm in a relationship, I'm less social with friends in general, mainly because friends tend to come and go because of hobby and interest differences, making us drift apart, and one of the reasons I want a girlfriend is to have a friend that stays, because she's basically the female version of me mentally, and on top of that, their is the physical aspect of relationships reinforcing the bond even further.

[Mel2021]

That makes sense though would you sound unhappy if talking about them at all even if asked? Thank you for answering by the way!

I’m just confused as at times as it comes across as maybe he may not care about her as most other people at least give a name if they are interested in someone. That’s how I know that they like them and may not be interested in me.

[TheSpaceGnome]

No, it doesn't bother me to talk about anything I'm happy with, it's just boasting thats awkward, so I won't say anything unless they pry, and even then I have boundries, like I won't mention anything that violates my or my SO's privacy.

[Mel2021]

Oh no 100% I totally get not wanting to violate privacy or anything but this guy I’m referring to doesn’t really look happy when talking about her

[TheSpaceGnome]

Then he's probably planning to leave, and is only with her because he either thinks he can't get what he actually wants, or can't find it yet, or the one he is eyeing is not available and he's hoping to either steal her away from her current SO, or bide his time for when and if they break up. Alternatively, he may actually love her, but he doesn't feel reciprocated, and so talking about it upsets him, and will until they patch things up or break up.

[Mel2021]

That makes sense, thank you. You have been really helpful.

Just wondering but have you ever been cold towards a female friend before if she did nothing wrong to you?

[TheSpaceGnome]

Cold? no, but I do turn her down if I'm not interested in her romantically. Usually by just saying it wouldn't work because they aren't my type, and if they ask what my type is, I just tell them.

I feel like thats much better than leading her on or trying to beat around the bush.

[Mel2021]

Ah ok that makes sense, thank you!

[TheSpaceGnome]

You're welcome.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Also its honestly better to ask someone their type before hitting on them.

[Mel2021]

I agree definitely and I appreciate you don’t treat female friends cold I just don’t understand why some guy do this

[Avicenna]

It means they aren’t exclusive and he’s not as serious about her

[Mel2021]

Thank you for responding. When prompted he will say he went to dinner with his “friend” but doesn’t really mention her at all otherwise. Do you still think it isn’t serious if they do go out, but he doesn’t bring her up himself as normally guys will say if they are seeing someone and be open about it from my own experiences or am I wrong?

[Avicenna]

No, it’s definitely not serious if he doesn’t commit

[Mel2021]

Ah ok, you don’t think it could be a case where he is shy and refers to her as a friend due to it as the other answer has said?

[Avicenna]

I find that very unlikely

[Mel2021]

Ah ok so in most cases like I have experienced he would call her girlfriend if he was serious basically and wanted to be with her?

[Avicenna]

Correct

Thanks for the mho

[Unknown_Swan_]

As another user said, it means that they haven't made anything official yet.
The dating stage can be anywhere between a few weeks, to a few months usually.

However, calling her his "friend" may be either shyness on his part, or may just be a poor choice of name for a woman he's romantically dating.

If he keeps calling her a friend a longer time down the line, then they're either taking it incredibly slow or there may be something else going on in their time with one another.
I had a friend who was stuck in the 'getting to know' stage with a girl for well over a year and a bit.
That's pretty abnormal with dating. You either have said yes or no to a relationship with a person by that point.
The girl was toxic, hot and cold type, and my friend being the genuine nice guy he was just carried on with it, even though it made him extremley depressed. He'd never had a relationship before and genuinley liked this girl that much.

So look out for warning signs if your friend starts becoming depressed, quiet, withdrawn, or whatever.

Other than that, just let him get on with dating this girl and I'm sure a little while down the line a relationship will become apparent, or it won't.

[Mel2021]

I understand what you are saying and thank you for responding! I’m just confused as most other guy friends that I have would talk about their crushes all the time or people that they are seeing nearly boasting in a sense because they are happy if that makes sense? I would have assumed it was maybe not serious if they are calling someone they are seeing a friend and they have been going out for 2 months at least maybe more

[serious]

Well he is still seeing her and trying to get to know her so he cannot call her his girlfriend. Not yet

[Waldoe]

GaG is kind of a hobby of mine now. I find it a bit annoying that there is never any back and forth, it;s pretty obvious that most of the content is generated by GaG, not by contributors, can I get hired?

[AviatorTom]

The term "girlfriend" implies commitment, and some guys aren't ready for that... yet.

[altdbob]

because he has not slept with her yet and does not intend to.

[spartan55]

Sounds like someone is jealous.