How would my boyfriend feel if I tell him I was sexually assaulted years ago and the guy was never prosecuted?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t expect any less than for him to support/comfort you, and if his response is something negative then maybe he is not the one, because that’s a very personal piece of information to trust someone enough to share and there should be some respect behind him receiving it. On another note, I would look at my reasons for wanting to share this. Like is it a trauma you’ve addressed and dealt with? Or is it weighing on you and you’re really needed a listening ear, and someone to comfort you? If it’s a thing where you just want to share your story, hats perfectly fine. But if it’s something deeper eating away at you, then for your mental health’s sake you should consider getting help with (assuming you haven’t already).

[Asker]

I thought I’d bring it up because I still ball my eyes out about it sometimes and have panic attacks. I don’t want it to freak him out. So if he sees me having this episode I don’t want him to be unaware of it and not able to explain it seeing as I’m not my rational self in those moments.

[Asker]

I have PTSD that I get help for.

[Opinion Owner]

Makes total sense, and I’m glad you are getting help because that sort of trauma is really hard to get past on your own. I’m sure he’ll be very supportive🙏

[MikeInHawaii]

I can’t speak for him. It could help in understanding you, though. I went out with a woman who could exchange back rubs for hours, gave me a hug every time she saw me, and absolutely freaked out over a kiss on the cheek on the third date. I thought she had PTSD and I had triggered a memory.

I told that story to a coworker who was working on a Ph. D. In psychology. She thought the same thing. She had probably been molested and that’s how it started.

[Asker]

I’m so sorry. 😢 that’s horrible. I hope she (and you) are ok.

[Asker]

I went through 5 years of thinking I was worthless and experienced a lot of emotional detachment. I needed constant reassurance and thought I wasn’t lovable because I thought of myself as broken.
I met my boyfriend this year and I remember I muttered something once like “I’m not worthy of your time in this way” and I don't know what happened but he showed me the true definition and meaning of love. I never understood it until I met him tbh. Your person is out there willing to accept you as you are. Easier said than done.

[Drumlin2001]

Without knowing him difficult to tell. A decent guy would listen, appreciate your honesty and trust in him.

[Anonymous]

If you trust him enough to share that, then tell him. He's either man enough to accept it and help you when it hurts or he won't be in which case, you're better off not investing any further.

[TommyMountainFigure]

It depends on his level of maturity. Some can handle it, others can not.

[Anonymous]

He should be very supportive of you.

[Guy13]

How long dating?

[Asker]

A month

[Guy13]

If it’s getting in the way…If his manner is causing past trauma to emerge. I would want to know. I wouldn’t want to find out later thot I was unknowingly terrorizing you. This is me…I don’t know if I could get over finding out Incas damaging you and you never said anything. Not everyone is the same though🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️
I’m hoping that you find peace in this somehow