Guys, how does a strong confident woman who is NOT a feminist explain on a forum or say a dating app that she is NOT like many women her age?

[RoseyGal]

I am NOT a modern-day feminist who takes pride in being promiscuous, man-hating, etc.

Rather I come from a family where for generations we've been strong inspiring women who have held the family together. Women who lost husbands to war, sailing accidents, farming accidents, etc. I am very rational & very realistic due to this. Do such women wear the "pants" in the house... no.

But how do I explain that on a forum or a dating site? What is the BEST way to do that?

[Anonymous]

Firstly, you sound great on multiple levels and you deserve to find a great guy.

Having said that, my advice is not to say anything about these things. Mentioning feminism at all is going to hurt you, guaranteed. That should require no explanation.

And saying you are a "a strong confident woman" won't be any better because it is mostly feminists who even feel the need to say that sort of thing (I'm not saying you are a feminist, just saying that will be how it is perceived). Based on what you've said here, it sounds like there were probably strong women AND men in your history. How would you feel if you saw a man's profile where he said something about coming from a history of strong confident men? That would be pretty weird, wouldn't it? It doesn't need to be said and will likely have negative results.

I think you would be best off just being yourself, talking about your interest, etc. I do wish you good luck and hope you find a great guy who values you for who you are.

[RoseyGal]

You are right the men in my family have been equally strong. My father, in particular.

I think I want to put strong in there to differentiate from many women today - and in the past - who just sat on their asses. It is, unfortunately, a common negative stigma. Almost as commonly a negative stigma as calling oneself a feminist.

[Bl0n6eguy]

I would recommend using "outgoing", or simply stating you're a modest woman. The words "strong, confident woman" aren't modest, and can give guys the impression you think too highly of yourself and too little of them - it holds the same "I need no man" sentiment.

In fact, if we combine those two sentences together we get this:
"I'm a strong confident woman, I need no man."
Food for thought.

[Anonymous]

Simply put, don't use them. Im almost 24 and in the same boat; the problem is, most people on those sites just want sex - plain and simple.

What you ought to be doing is meeting men irl, that way you can see their behaviour and decide before going forwards. That's my plan for meeting a girl anyhow.

If you truly Must use an app, they'll treat you the same as any other user, but if you want to look more respectful I'd recommend keeping your figure hidden by modest clothes; dresses, skirts, smart trowsers, etc. Dont make yourself look too wealthy, or you'll be threatening to modest guys.

Best of luck

[RoseyGal]

Thanks. Problem is, small town. I only came here for work & let's just say if I knew what the town was like before I'd have said no to the job

[Opinion Owner]

You'll have even worse luck online I'm afraid. Perhaps see what's within commuting distance and set up a routine; visit the same café, gym, shop, etc. and notice friendly figures - go up and start a random convo.

[Opinion Owner]

Regulars. Speak to people you've seen or passed by more than once and, if you like their looks, start a convo!

[DoctorSex]

Speak highly of your father, why you value him and why his role is important. If you have brothers, speak about their experiences with women. In short, advocate for the men in your family.
Guys will get the message loud and clear.

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

[RoseyGal]

ROFL. Moron.

[DoctorSex]

What a nasty attitude you have. You asked for advice and this is how you talk to people who give you the advice you asked for.

Good day to you and grow up.

[YHL6965]

Don't, or, at least, don't word it like that because it generally sounds obnoxious like the narrative feminists spew out. I personally don't think it's necessarily worth mentioning or I think you'd be better off mentioning personality traits, things that show what kind of person you are, who you are, that might be at the source of this strong/confident behavior.

[slatyb]

You must live on a different planet than I do. The sort of men who would stereotype women in that way are not worth knowing.

[RoseyGal]

Many men do stereotype white women between the ages of 25 to 35 in that way. It makes sense. If you have had 10 women behave so why would the 11th be different?

[RoseyGal]

And that's the problem. I want to weed out men who would think that but also try to appeal to men who don't. Hence my question...

How can I explain that I am "unique" to the norm as sad/stupid as that may sound it is society for you.

[BungusHighFivePizza]

i noticed u deleted my post as stereotypical woman but the slatyb makes lots of sense

[BungusHighFivePizza]

well u already failed at that deleting my answer. u aren't a unique woman. u are actually the most stereotypical and most judgmental, most unwilling to hear answers other than ur own diarrhea

[RoseyGal]

@BungusHighFivePizza You said nothing of value.

[BungusHighFivePizza]

excellent argument for a future husband who says anything u disagree with

[BungusHighFivePizza]

care 2 recall what i said that u deem of no value?

[Alex8736]

All you need to do is be yourself and you are a realist who knows what they want and keep an open mind but try not to be rebellious where sometimes things in writing can be easily misconstrued and taken as a different meaning 🌹

[FilmGuy93]

I think you're probably best off just not even mentioning Feminism. Out of sight, out of mind, you know?

[DryGermanGuy]

„Never explain, never complain.“
- Queen Elizabeth

[Kudos4U]

I have the answer, avoid dating sites. If you put effort into being high value you should be shooting for men that aren't looking for mindless hookups

[RoseyGal]

Easier said than done, live in a very small town & the closest city of worth is 3 hours away. Most men here if they're not married or dating by now there's a good reason why.

[Kudos4U]

Are you looking for convenience or commitment, because its unlikely you'll find the latter online. Best idea is to pursue a more engaging place to live.

[JackVE]

Don't. There's no way to word that and not sound obnoxious. Once you get a match, prove it with how you carry yourself on conversation and dates

[qusai_jo]

you can say that as what you wrote here, i like this kind of women because they are very loyal and i respect them :) good luck dear in your life

[MountAverage]

A strong confident woman wouldn't ask this question, especially not on same lame forum like GaG.