He intentionally takes a long time to reply to my texts sometimes. How do I deal with him?

[Anonymous]

He's 34 and I'm 24. I've noticed that sometimes he takes a while to respond... I never said anything to him. However today I confirmed that he does it intentionally because there was a slight misunderstanding and he though I was upset about something and he quickly replied and once I cleared it up.. he took a while to respond again. At this point, I don't know how to deal with him.

[maddieluvsyou]

Sometimes this happens to me too.
Once you clear up the misunderstanding or answer their question, they don’t feel the need to keep replying to you. This goes for friends and family too. My aunt will text me a question, I answer her and she won’t reply ever again.
My crush will get the answer he wants then "ignores me", even if we were consistently messaging because they already found out what was wrong. Sometimes, he won’t reply for minutes-hours but until the second I ask something, the response is quick. Also, I noticed when there is a misunderstanding or slight argument, there’s a build up of annoyance so you get ignored. I hope this kinda helps.

[Asker]

So, it's normal?

[MoniqueTLC]

This might help you;
https://www.theloveconsultants.com/why-does-she-text-me-and-then-not-respond/
Because he replied to fast when he thought something was wrong, the fact that when everything is okay he takes ages could be a sign that he's either playing games and being hard to get, or, he just wants to make sure you're an option for him.

Do you take the same amount of time to reply back or do you reply pretty quickly? If you do, I'd suggest backing off a bit and giving it some time to respond and see how that goes. Also, are you dating/seeing other?

[Asker]

When he pulls that on me I ignore him for the entire day. He then texts me the following day. I'm not about to initiate anything if he's behaving like that.

[MoniqueTLC]

Good answer :) You don't need anyone in your life that's going to play around with your feelings or be vague about their intentions

[Dontaaaa]

Confront him about it and have a discussion with him about it.

That's literally the best thing you can do, I don't get why people are so keen on doing anything expect the obvious answer of confronting the person about the issue.
I get it, you're probably afraid of confrontation and conflict.

But the only way you can even possibly get a result that you want is to just communicate with him directly about it.

[Guy13]

You are lucky AND he thinks you are reasonable and have Value. Don't get stupid and prove to be another woman who does not know how to handle Power. He values you enough to respond when he thinks there's possibility of Loss.-Don't be stupid and screw up a guy with some intuition, conscious, and a respectful intention as it relates to you.

[Asker]

Interesting. Maybe you're just saying that because you're a guy. Possibly he's not even into me and that's why I feel like I'm being pushed to the side... that maybe side. Otherwise, I just don't see why he suddenly fades out again.

[spartan55]

So, this is what is very important to you, how long a guy takes to text back?

[Asker]

It's about the lack of consistency

[spartan55]

So, you expect guys to value texting as much you do?

[spartan55]

Consistency about what? Do you talk on the phone or see him in person often?

[Asker]

That's my issue with him right now. We were supposed to call the day before yesterday and he randomly chose to go the gym and told me that whenever he's done with his stuff we can call. It upset me because if he tells me... we're calling at X time, I'll reorganize everything to make it work. It bothers me because it's long distance for now and I'm feeling like he doesn't care. He takes a long time to reply whenever he feel like it... he'll cancel our plans last minute and expects me to just take it for what it is. Not once has he apologized nor do I want him to. I just don't understand why he's behaving like that and still reaching out to me every day. I'm starting to think he doesn't care.

[spartan55]

Long distance = forget it.

[7barbieringz]

He doesn't care, you're just something to pass the time.

If u feel like he doesn't care based on his actions, chances are you're right

[BarryLiverstone]

He may not rely on texting to communicate. How often do you call him or meet irl

[Asker]

That's the reason why I got upset with him today. We were supposed to call the day before yesterday and he randomly chose to go the gym and told me that whenever he's done with his stuff we can call. It upset me because if he tells me... we're calling at X time, I'll reorganize everything to make it work. It bothers me because it's long distance for now and I'm feeling like he doesn't care. It annoys me even more that he behaves like that but he still has the nerve to always reach out first every day

[BarryLiverstone]

Because it’s long distance you will always question how much he’s into and he’s better able to make excuses to avoid you; especially if he senses you are upset at him. When do you plan to see him irl?

[Asker]

Honestly... I'm starting to give up on whatever this is. I'm thinking of taking it for what it is and just letting it be.

[BarryLiverstone]

If he keeps demonstrating a lack of consistency and this keeps happening it makes sense for you to start to pull away and not feel a strong connection. It takes effort both ways especially in a LDR. What are the pros and cons of your relationship?