The moment he saw me he laid eyes on me. He said we vibes well which we did and that we come from a similar background. After we met we went on a date and it went really well. He even texted me the next morning saying he had a great time. However, he takes sooo long to respond to texts, and Ita been 2 weeks and we only went on 1 date… I communicated this to him and he said he works which I understand, but i don’t get it. If you like a girl you should wanna see her OFTEN! On the other hand, he says if he didn’t like me he would’nt be entertaining this. He does text/call me though, just takes a long time to respond back. Thoughts?
3 mo
Why does he take so long to answer my texts?
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Hmm that is pretty weird that he takes so long to respond sometimes. If I really liked a girl I met, I'd definitely want to text her more often!
A few things it could be:
- He really is just super busy with work like he says. Some jobs can take over your life. But then he should at least be more apologetic about the slow replies I think.
- He may not be that into you after all, even if he said he was. Maybe he's dating around or not that excited. Guys will sometimes try keep options open by being hot and cold with responses.
- He could just be a non-phone person. I know dudes who aren't glued to their phones 24/7. But still, you'd think he'd make more effort if he liked you.
- Worst possibility is he's losing interest and trying to let you down slowly. But only one date, so maybe not that.
I'd say give it a little more time, but also don't just sit around waiting on him if he takes all day to respond. Keep yourself busy with friends and stuff in the meantime so you're not just sitting by your phone annoyed.
And maybe call him out directly - say you like him but his slow texting is confusing, and ask what he really thinks about taking it further. Gets everything out in the open and you'll know for sure then. Good luck!!
When I spoke to him about it he said he gets where I’m coming from, yet he still hasn’t really made a change..
Hmm yeah that's kinda suspect then if he said he gets it but still isn't changing his habits much. A few more thoughts:
- He might just be really bad at texting/responding promptly to people in general, not just you. Some guys are clueless like that and it's really not about how interested they are.
- On the other hand, it's possible he said he gets it to calm you down for now but isn't actually that serious about following through on communicating better.
- Don't wanna assume the worst, but there's a chance he's maintaining some distance by text to keep you interested without fully committing either.
At this point I'd try setting up another fun date idea first to see if things click as well in person again. But give him one more chance to step up his text game too. If he's still leaving you hanging for days after saying he'd work on it, then he's just not that serious unfortunately. Your time is valuable too so don't settle for some dude who leaves you wondering. His actions should match his words!
The texting thing I don’t think is a big deal, mainly because the goal is to have less texting conversations and more of them in person. However, you can’t even get to that juncture if he isn’t really available. One thing to note is that his job sounds very demanding, it also sounds like he may not be so great at prioritizing personal aspects of his life, like making time for a woman he wants to pursue something with.
You have sense enough to know that if he wanted to do something he would. So while he’s saying whatever, those words hold little value when his actions don’t match. Going forward, you could invite him out on a date and see how things go. Honestly though, I feel like this is a glimpse into what you’d be dealing with going forward and to me it doesn’t sound so great.
It’s only been 2 weeks, you could get over him easily if you backed out now. I’m sure you want to explore that connection and it would be disappointing, but it’s only worth it if he’s able to prioritize time with you. If that can’t happen and he’s too busy, then you’re better off where you’re at.
Lol no
I deleted his comment, this is a weird stalker who comments inappropriately under many of my comments😮💨
Lol all good! Your answer was really helpful. Why would he be doing this though? I felt like he was really into me..
I’m guessing you had no intention of addressing what I’ve said in my comment anyway though, which is unfortunate when we take the time to write something that we hope would really help. Oh well.
Oops, don’t mind what I just said lol I get so many of these comments left alone so it’s a bummer when they get ignored. I’m glad I could help!
He may be very into you, but his schedule doesn’t a lot him the time. I’ve been in that position as well and it’s very disappointing but men like him shouldn’t even pursue women until they know they can prioritize her as well!
He should make time for you